JohnDi

Hello, our reasons for dating so long and not being married are for reasons being that we are both only 20, personally I am not comfortable with getting married at this age (school is still being dealt with which is expensive). We thought it would be best to wait a couple years as to allow us more time to get financial things in order before getting married. Besides, I've heard that unfaithfulness, lack of communication, and financial struggles are the main things that cause divorce, so why give those things a chance to cause us marital problems down the road if we can avoid them?

And God bless.

Tonight me and Lindsay's mentor sat down with her and went over everything, and God did wonders in her heart. We explained everything to her, and she admitted her mistakes, admitted she did not handle this well, and is back on track, she proudly and lovingly knows Gods word is the ultimate authority. I saw true repentance from her today. I cannot thank you all enough for the prayers, love and encouragement I have received, we are back on track now with Gods will and word at the front of our lives. Thank you again everybody.

Thank you for your insight, homosexuality was not the over all issue here, the isse we ran into is that she is supporting the gay community which we discussed means she is disregarding biblical principles. I believe God wants me to be with a woman who considers God and his teachings (scripture) to be the ultimate authority in her life, if we cannot agree on that, I do not want to be with her, I know God has better things for me, if that is the case. A very wise decision John. For a Christian, marriage is a lifelong commitment and it is incredibly important to choose in a Spirit led and wise manner. In spite of what other people may tell you, there truly is a difference in people making a mistake (everyone is prone to mistakes, we still inhabit this tent, as paul calls it, after all) and when a person refuses to accept the word of God as legitimate. Others may tell you to throw caution to the wind and that love conquers all, etc. None of this is to say that a person cannot be saved and misinterpret the bible, (I'm sure every saved person has misinterpreted the bible many times! lol), but when you are talking about something as serious as marriage, an abundance of caution is wise and rational. Thank you for that encouragement, I too believe I am coming at this with a good approach, I will admit, my original idea was that I needed to break it off because she was not handling this in a biblical manner, but I believe she could have been influenced by her family despite what she originally thought, and being away from home meant her only people to go to for advice told her very unbiblical things. I am praying that when she sits down with her mentor she will begin to see what God wants her to see, if not, I believe that is when I need to question whether or not she will ever truly hold the bible to the standards it needs. I will be seeing her soon, and after that we hope for her to meet with her mentor, so soon we will see.

Thank you for your insight, homosexuality was not the over all issue here, the isse we ran into is that she is supporting the gay community which we discussed means she is disregarding biblical principles. I believe God wants me to be with a woman who considers God and his teachings (scripture) to be the ultimate authority in her life, if we cannot agree on that, I do not want to be with her, I know God has better things for me, if that is the case.

Thank you all for the prayers and advice, after much discussion with mentors and friends whom I trust dearly, and after much discernment I have come to these conclusions. Yes. As of now the relationship cannot go on the way it is. That being said, I will specifically address the problems and let her know that things must change in these areas before marriage will ever be considered, I understand she was heavily influenced by her family and some friends who had VERY different stances than what the bible said. Her being a young Christian I'm willing to help her grow through this and continue, but until we see change in these areas, we cannot move on to marriage. I love this girl, and I dont believe God is telling me to run, I believe he is telling me to be compassionate, understanding, and be honest with this, it is a slip up that definitely showed her bad side, but her being a young Christian tells me this is NOT who she really is in Christ, and that I need to see her through and stay to address these problems and see them changed through God. She gets back home tomorrow morning, and when she is well rested and ready we will sit down, get through these problems that we can address, and see where things go from there. Thank you all again so much for your love, support, and encouragement, it is an AMAZING feeling to know I have faithful godly men and woman I can turn to for advice and wisdom. Bless you all for helping me. Hopefully this will not be the last you hear of me. As I would love to give back to this community in some way no matter what happens with my relationship. God bless, talk to you all soon

Thank you all so much for the encouragement and advice. I am still praying and meditating on what is in front of me. Im praying I don't have to break up with her, but am prepared for what ever Gods plan is for me.

And by the way, we have talked this through many times, I've explained to her that by not putting biblical teaching at the top of her life, we are at a disagreement on what we live by, and that this WILL cause marital issues, she understands that, but feels she must continue to support that community based on the fact that one of her best friends is bisexual. I just can't seem to get through to her that you can STILL love them without supporting their actions, but she claims that's who they are, which we also disagree on. We've literally talked about this from every angle and cannot come to an agreement, even when I explain it to her logically she agrees that makes sense, but then says she still wants to support their choices, which I told her ultimately means the bible is not completely what she lives by, and she agreed. I told her that when she gets back from her vacation I would like for her to sit down with her mentor, and discuss this again. But I decided if she does not come to agree after a conversation with her mentor, then it will be over. I'm just praying that God will soften her heart and that the Holy Spirit will convict her. Please pray for her as well you guys. Her name is Lindsay.

To the first comment, we are both 20. So marriage was very close around the corner, we were not engaged as I did not feel it was time yet to get married (Gods perfect timing I guess right? Haha) but it still aches at my heart. She was a fairly new Christian when I met her and she had been being mentored when we got to dating for a whole year. It kills me because she learned this stuff, her mentor (who was my own mother, and a very long time believer) explained to her that the faith definition is about obeying God despite personal feelings, circumstance, or cultural pressures, I know she learned that stuff yet when the time came for her to make a decision she chose against that. It just kills me you know? It's also discouraging because I thought she was the one, unless we can talk her through this when she gets back from her vacation I have already decided I was going to break up with her. The only thing left I feel is lost, will I ever find a Christian woman who can REALLY put the bible and its teachings above all things? I thought I had found one, but the storms of life brought that building down. It's just discouraging and leaves me skeptical of the other fish, and I know that's unfair but that's the taste left in my mouth right now. Thank you for the advice and thank you for accepting me with open arms. I'm definitely still open to opinions on this. All input is welcome.

I have been dating my girlfriend for nearly 2 years now. But with the recent legalizing of gay marriage it caused us to have a serious argument, she believes I am being hateful for not supporting the LGBT community (I have never claimed righteousness over them or ever used scripture to bash them down) I have only shared what the bible says on homosexuality, anyway, I explained to her that as a Christian, we (me and her both identify as Christians based on being saved by Christs blood) can should not support sinful actions but that we can still love them. All our arguing has basically told me that the bible is not the ultimate authority in her life (why I didn't know this until now is my own fault for not addressing it) but my issue now is, she and I both understand that if we don't agree, our relationship will be over, I am adamant on trusting Gods word, and she is adamant that she is doing what is right. It kills me to think I have to break up with her, but I know what I will have to do if an agreement cannot be met, I just need lots of prayer, inspiring words, and a little advice. Please feel free to let me know what you think. God bless this community for allowing me to speak.