Theophannia

So today I was thinking, what if God did release me from my marriage? Honestly I dont feel like I could ever trust love after this. Please be praying, I know that that is more pain and wounds talking but its how I feel lately, like even if God did say ok separate and get out of this and try to have a future, even if I were free and could find real love and a good person in my life, I feel like I could never trust enough to have it and so its like love for me is over for my life, which is hard for me to work through right now.

He is your lifeline, and as such, in so many ways, remember who will be there when every man woman and child born of human effort fails you or turns their back, He SHOULD come first at all times. He alone is truly worthy of that much trust and investment with no risk of hurting you and only love for you.

That is NOT the vow I made to God to uphold, our justice of the peace wedding was not the same as what people think our wedding was supposed to mean.

Still the same disrespect after years of talking, and I keep going to God saying I understand I made a vow but that vow was based on a 3 way contract where each of us, me him and God agreed to certain terms to make that contract valid. When you enter a contract but one party agrees to say pay 100 and another agrees to give a product, if one party does not hold up their end the contract is void, I have tried to hold my end and not been perfect, he doesn't even want to try to hold his end of it, so yeah we both made promises and those vows are past broken. However nowhere in our vows was I promise to be abused, disrespected, blamed, accused, berated, abandoned and hurt no matter what from this day forth, and hold to till death do us part even if every moment of my waking life is pain and hurt because of your failed vow my husband. SO I am done.

Yes I know some say God was that God until Christ, the Bible says that God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow, so yes the same God plagued Egypt and sent Christ without changing to accomplish either circumstance, it means that we are small and don't understand, not that He changed ever, so ONLY HIS WILL BE DONE.

Thank you all for praying. For the last few days I've been under terrible depression and pain. I have felt trapped between leaving an abusive situation where I feel that if I do I would be leaving my son behind with the abuse, or staying in it to obey the law (strangely the Lord asked me was I living as a Pharisee while saying I trusted Christ, the Pharisees obeyed the letter of the law forgetting the care of the whole person inside.) That has been one of the worst struggles of my life, do I stay in the opposite of love, under accusation, a man who says he hates me and God when he doesn't get his way, accusation and degredation are both of the enemy, abuse is of the enemy, a million other issues that are clearly a man being more like the enemy than like God, and I remembered my parents in Saginaw. God delivered me and my son out of my parent's house under severe sexual abuse and then blame for it, and tonight I totally broke down before the Lord. If I leave my marriage, the enemy destroyed a marriage. If I stay, God delivered me out of abuse and depression, accusation, shame, etc all things the enemy tried to bind me into in my childhood, only for me to choose to stay in a marriage that ends up with the same cycle. That's their plan isn't it, to put me and my second born son back under the cycle of my childhood or destroy my marriage. Please continue to pray, because I want to God saying a child under law is to obey it's parents too but that would have kept me under that cycle, to stay in this marriage is to put me and my son under it in order to obey not divorcing and submitting to my husband. Are you the same God today as you were when I was 19 and you brought me and my child out of abuse? After an emotional bath with God (it's the little time I have where I know I don't have to feel vulnerable about showing emotion in my house) and a lot of tears and His care and a solid YES I am still the same God, I prayed God get me and my son out of this. Please keep praying, because either way God will work this out that the enemy will not win, whether that means me and my son are free of an abusive man or it means that God changes this man against what seems to be this mans choice in sins and abuse. My God is the same God today as he was when I was 19, and though He is a God of mercy and forgiveness He is also a God of justice and deliverance, so please pray that His will goes through in this situation, whether it be justice and deliverance from an abusive parenting and marital life or mercy grace forgiveness and a changed husband/father in me and Mikey's life, GOD's WILL BE DONE not mine or Shanes or the enemys or any of the people praying's will, ONLY GODS WILL be done. If we pray for restoration and that is not Gods will due to Him being just and the deliverer of captives from Egypt, that is ineffective, if we pray for justice and deliverance and Gods will is mercy and to change things, that is ineffective, God is both the God of justice who plagued Pharoah and delivered from Egypt and the God of mercy who I have seen change lives. We don't know His will in this situation, we do know that His will is Good, so let us pray His will be done.

For the last few days we haven't been fighting and my husband even came back to bed for a night, which has been maybe a twice a year occurrance in our marriage for years, and my ear hasn't been sore either. God's still got a lot of healing to do in our marriage though,the emotional scars between us will take some time and healing. I just know God didn't want our relationship to be how it has been, but these things take time and don't fix overnight.

It didn't free me to follow my own will, it freed me to submit and give up my rights and wants for the rights and good of my son.

God took me through the truth of divorce and remarriage, and now the translation of words has twisted the meaning. At the end of the day Christ condemned sending a spouse away while still married and getting married again while you were still married. I thought that IF this were the truth and the Lord released me from my marriage, I would leave and divorce and wait till all of it was done properly. The thing is, even though I was led by the spirit into the truth of what that all meant, God asked me, now that you are free of the twisted teaching, are you going to file the divorce? When I examined my heart, I chose to stay in my marriage for God and for my son. Being free from the law didn't end up changing my situatuation, it did help me have stronger footing that what I go through and battle in this marriage isn't about my feelings or me or my husband's failings it is about doing what is right for Mikael because it is him that I have to consider ab ove myself, and to follow my human will or my husbands will open the door for things I don't want in Mikael's life, so I need to endure for Mikey's sake.

I"ve been struggling with irritability, stress, resentment, etc because of issues in my marriage.

My husband does not respect me, does not respect my faith, and undermines my son's respect for me consistently.

It's been an ongoing issue for our 5 years of marriage.

There is no two way street in my marriage, just Shane's street.

He yells at me and insults me to my face, behind my back, to his friends with his friends and to the kids, and if his friends are here it becomes them encouraging each other in it.

If I try to stand up for anything I feel or say how I feel or be honest about it or talk about it at all it becomes sometimes 3 hours or more of how its my fault or I cause it or its on me only or its faults in me or how its his response to me that is fair or etc.

We have fought, left each other in separations, threatened divorce, he's told me to get out more than I can count, he even "prayed" to God looking up yelling God I am done with her we are not married she is not y wife.

He expects respect from me and gives none of it back.

He blames me for problems even ones that are just our life not something I did, like he had a stroke and is on social security so we live on a limited income, which turns into more than him requesting that I work it ends up going furter into all of our financial problems are something I am doing to us.

Even silly things any small mistake is a reason to berate, call names, belittle, fight with me etc.

I don't know what else to do besides pray and put a prayer request up for this, because this has been half a decade of constant consistent behavior that has become a constant state of our home, not a series of instances. Normally when couples fight its something happens and that causes an individual incident, this is not a incident and its not individual things its a constant state of our life.

PLEASE PRAY FOR CHANGE, because its gotte to the point that I am fed up completely with my family all the time.

It's passed even spilling into my relationship with my 4 year old son, where I have no patience with him and don't want anything to do with him and its not his fault, and though I know this I still have no emotional energy left for either of them other than "go away and leave me alone, period".

This definately needs to be addressed, and the only way I have left to do that is through prayer and my family being lifted up in prayer, no amount of fighting, talking, expressing feelings respectfully, requests for basic respect even when given in a respectful way don't do anything at all.

I've gotten to the point where i pray constantly that I can just leave my marriage and home for good to have a moment's peace.

Please pray, because at this point it is not somethig that "human problem solving" has had any affect on, including treating him with respect or doing more for him, even if i do these things it has NO effect he does not "see that and things change".

I know that the bible says "give love and respect so that others learn from your example and turn around" and "lead by example and so the other person follows that example".

That does NOT happen here it seems.

So I am at the end of my rope, because I have even gotten the advice "treat other's as they would like to be treated, or you would like to be treated" and "submit and serve so he will be won over" which SOUNDS good, for most normal people it might work but this has NOT been affecting or impacting my marriage at all, it seems to go completely unnoticed.

We need prayer, and though I accept that I may need heart change, I am NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO NEEDS SOME SERIOUS HEART CHANGE, and I am done taking this on as if it is my fault, this isn't a he is responding to me thing, maybe part of it but it is more than that.

Secondly, I've had ongoing problems with ear pain, possibly infections or blockages or something I am not sure, but I went to the doctor and they said it was a sinus thing last time, thing is this keeps coming back and is consistently recurring in my life. Please pray for healing for whatever the problem or problems with this are.

The Lord also told me the same thing, the first time that I recognized Him, His Holy Spirit, he said "Tiffany I"ve always been here you just never noticed."

God loves us and always has.

Thank you for the verse you posted, I had never read that before but like you, it has meaning to me because of all the things He has brought me through.

You know until last week, I had NEVER met another person or heard of anyone going through anything like what I went through, because of your testimony and another friend's testimony I heard recently, well this is the first period of time where people are passing through my life and I see that I was NOT the only one who has ever been through a life like this. I knew I wasn't alone because God was time me, but I also always thought that no one would ever understand my life, where I came from and what God has brought me through. So your testimony is a bit of healing for me too, because I see that I am not "person on earth" alone like the enemy tried to tell me either, other people have come through things like me, some of the same walks and I wasn't specially bad or singled out by God to go through bad stuff which the enemy tried to lie. Your testimony proves that that is a LIE, God didn't single either of us out and choose this He stepped in to HEAL us. Yes I know and knew that that was the truth, but it is awesome to come across affirmation of that truth.

God has tried to tell me that I am not as alone when it comes to people on this earth as I thought I was and was led to believe, until Alex and now your testimony, I believed Him but didn't see how it was true or why it was true.

For me what I went though, when the Lord first brought Alex's testimony to light for me, I realized that I had needed to know that God was at work in the world like He has been for me, healing and delivering and fighting for people and protecting them too, but I didn't know of anyone else who God had done things like that for like He did for me, and I was always praying every time I thought about someone going thorugh something like I did, desperate for God to protect, because I didn't see that He has been at work in the world around me the same as He has for me. Now I have solid tangable examples of affirmation that God didn't just heal me, but is and does do just as much "going about as a lion" against the enemy as the enemy tries to do. For me I had this idea of God turning that verse for a second that GOD goes about as THE LION healing His creation and stomping down the enemy and evil in the world, He is ACTIVE AND ON THE MOVE, and we don't have to worry so much when we pray for people or fear for people so much knowing that He is active, working, and that He is constantly doing all of the GREAT THINGS He does for His creation. Your testimony means a lot to me, as I am sure it means a lot to you. God has SO much more in store for you, greater things than you have seen or even I have seen yet, even after all of this His goodness is SO endless.

I am so sorry that you went through all of this. I had some very similar experiences in life, with sexual abuse and the occult, and being taken from family person to person home to home place to place, I have a similar testimony in some ways to yours.

I don't know where you are in your walk with Christ right now, but I am going to tell you some things that are absolutely TRUE not because the bible says so, or church says so or someone says a verse that says so, because I LIVED IT AND WALKED IT AND THIS IS PERSONAL HISTORY AND EXPERIENCE.

1. GOD DOES PROTECT US FROM THE ENEMY, AND WE HAVE A RIGHT TO COMPLETE FREEDOM IN CHRIST THROUGH THE BLOOD OF CHRIST. May God heal you, close any doors, break all generational curses, cover you with the shadow of his wings, protect you, and do all things for your freedom in the Name of Jesus by His Blood For the Sake of His Name and FOR THE SAKE OF WHO HE TRULY IS AS FATHER DESPITE WHAT ANY PERSON, CIRCUMSTANCE OR ENEMY HAS EVER TRIED TO GET YOU TO THINK OF HIM.

2. May God HEAL YOUR FATHER WOUNDS AND NOT JUST BE, BUT SHOW YOU ACTIVELY THE FATHER THAT YOU WERE DENIED BY THE WORLD, MAY THE SON REVEAL GOD THE FATHER AND MAY GOD THE FATHER HEAL YOU IN EVERY WAY IN JESUS NAME I PRAY.

3. May God not just ask for your trust, but also walk with you daily as He does in a living, relevant, personal, experienced way that is deeper than "know in your head" but instead, to the roots of your soul spirit and heart rooted in His LOVE PROTECTION AND GOODNESS.

I pray these things in Jesus Name, STANDING ON FAITH THAT YOU GAVE ME CHRIST BY DOING ALL OF THESE THINGS FOR ME, ROOTED IN THE LOVE EXPERIENCE THAT YOU POURED OUT FOR ME, AND KNOWING THAT YOU LONG TO DO ALL OF THIS AND MORE FOR HER, AND I SPEAK THIS INTO YOUR LIFE BY THE AUTHORITY OF CHRIST GIVEN ME THROUGH HIS BLOOD SHED ON THE CROSS.

He did all of this for me, not because I asked He just walked into my life and did all of this, and I KNOW He will do it for you too, in His time and His way which IS perfect. I just want you to know, this is something you are NOT alone in and that God WILL conquer, and He HAS conquered, and I tell you this standing on ground where He has done this for me and that is HOW I know it is real and true.

Some of this is even 8 years after me coming to know the Holy Spirit personally

.   He gave me the space I needed, in the way I needed, to get used to Him in my life, earning my trust, talking to me, always talking, just being there, and eventually I would answer back.He would say things and I would pretend not to listen and He didn't seem to care,He just kept talking.Later I would find things like what He said in the bible, same things He was talking to me about as being how things worked or the right thing or the truth.

    It took me I think 2 months for me to engage Him in conversation, answering back carrying on a conversation.

    Since that night in my kitchen He has NEVER left, He has not had to use the sense of Him standing in a room with me I've grown used to Him being "living within me" with peace, He has never spent ONE day not talking as much as He did that day for the most part, and most of our days are spent 80% talking me to Him and Him answering and me yapping, sometimes just everyday meaningless stuff, sometimes me just complaining or venting how I feel (a lot of the time) sometimes me still complaining or not liking what he says or thinks and telling him about it, sometimes me irritated with him, most of the time  us both knowing that we love each other, but NEVER SINCE THAT DAY HAS HE LEFT ONE BIT.

(It became my personal joke between me and Him that "Me and the Lord have the typical marriage he never shuts up and I never quit griping")

I get that its NOT his way for me to think that way, to say things like that, but I ALSO KNOW that He accepts me for WHO I AM, not the perfect, little righteous ,sinless on my own power,girl the world things I am but the real, broken, sinner saved, not perfect, hurt opinionated difficult to live with Tiffany that I AM.

   The Person of God that He presented himself to me as first was Christ the Bridegroom, it was the easiest relationship I could accept and handle.Since then we've been through a lot MORE than what I've typed here, including 6 years of homelessness going back to my biological family, and drifting on the streets.By the way, a year after I prayed about the HPV/Cancer I went to the doctor again, no HPV and no cancer all clear.I know HE healed that.

In December I was confronted and oppressed by the spirit of Antichrist which is satan himself, another thing God allowed but NOW I KNOW THAT NOTHING CAN EVER TAKE ME FROM CHRISTS HAND AND CHRIST, NOT ME, CARRIES ME THROUGH ALL THINGS..

    After that the Holy Spirit seemed to change, but the thing is He didn't, because God the Father and God the Son and Jesus the Bridegroom and the Holy Spirit are all God.But now the "person of God" is God the Father who He's also trying to help me accept that while it is God the Father He is still Christ my Bridegroom whom I know and love and trust.It's hard to wrap my head around, but here we go, the second time down a road of healing from my abusive family past.The first trip down this road was rough but we (He) got me through it.I look back on that when I thought this would be terrible, hard, and I held on to that we have been here before, 6 years ago,you Lord,walked me through that road of healing, I am ok, everything I have faced,You have faced with me and I am OK!I know you are STILL HERE and STILL LOVING ME so I can face all things even when I never feel I can face anything.He will get me through this, and it is turning out to be less painful,hard ,trouble and scary than I expected, but something awesome,wonderful and beyond anything I ever could have imagined, I keep praying, God I never would have asked for this, to know God the Father, I wouldn't have even known how to pray for it I wouldn't have even known what to pray for or that I needed it,He says,"I know honey but I knew and I even had Tracey tell you 8 years ago that I was going to heal this one day".

So I am now, I think, 2-3 months into God the Father, and I fell like a baby Christian all the time every day, but the POINT is this -I did NOT chase GOD-GOD CHASED ME-God reached out and took my hand and uplifted me out of the darkest, terrible pits over and over and over and over and over when I did NOT understand Him or sometimes want him, when I blamed him or took it out on him, no matter what, though SO MUCH GOD LOVED ME FIRST. SO LET GOD REACH OUT TO YOU, LET HIM LOVE YOU, I am not sinless, even after being a Christian I willfully and knowingly committed adultery, and GOD NEVER LEFT, even WHILE I WAS SINNING, GOD NEVER LEFT ME, OR ABANDONED ME, OR HURT ME, OR ACCUSED ME, NEVER ONCE IN ALL THESE 8 YEARS HE HAS ONLY LOVED ME AND FORGIVEN ME, AND I KNOW THAT HIS HEART IS JUST AS TRUE AND SOLID FOR YOU.

THAT IS WHY I am a Christian.Because He EARNED it, fought for me, HE chased ME, and He didn't say I AM WHO I AM  to me, He SHOWED ME WITH HIS LOVE IN ACTION AND RELATIONSHIP EVERY DAY THAT HE IS WHO HE IS AND IS TRUE AND LIGHT AND LOVE AND RIGHTEOUS AND JUST AND CARING AND FORGIVING AND ALL THAT HE PROMISES TO BE. To this day I have never read my bible all the way through, there are whole books I have not read, but GOD, GOD HAS LOVED ME AND HE ISN'T WORTH IT BECAUSE A CHURCH OR A BOOK OR A CHRISTIAN SAYS HE IS. HE'S WORTH IT BECAUSE HE REALLY IS WORTH IT, IT IS WHO HE IS FOR REAL NOT HE IS BECAUSE CHURCH SAYS HE IS OR CHRISTIANS SAY HE IS OR A BOOK SAYS HE IS OR THE WORLD THINKS HE IS HE TRULY IS.

THAT is why I am a Christian.

I have struggle off and on with a lack of wanting to follow God's will and way as well, and I've found that often times a part if it is soul wounds from the world that get reflected ONTO God that hinders our relationship. The Lord has been helping me heal from Father wounds for a few months now and one of the things that He revealed to me was that because I didn't have people in my life, especially parents in my life, that cared about my wants needs feelings well being mental state emotional state, then I reflected that on to him and because those things were taken advantage of or flat out denied I reflected THAT too, that God didn't care or is all about Himself screw you when it comes down to your good or His want.  THAT IS A LIE FROM THE ENEMY, GOD DOES NOT "SCREW YOU IF HE HAS TO CHOOSE YOUR GOOD OR HIS IN CHARGE JUST FOR THE SAKE OF HIM BEING THE BIG POWERFUL GOD.

This line of thinking is what the enemy wants you to think so that you MISS OUT on the GOOD FOR YOU God wants.

Gods ways were written for our good, when we screw up, like if we steal something from someone, god didn't lose His money, we hurt someone else and God does not want us to hurt others or us to be hurt by others.

He wrote His laws so that we have a way to love others and to do good for us when we don't know how to do either of those things.

I know this is HARD TO SWALLOW. I assume you have the same wounds I have, you were manipulated by people for their gain into doing it their way, they used you obeying them selfishly and didn't care for your wellbeing somehow, mentally emotionally or physically. Now you see God through that lense, and that is something HE HAS TO HEAL.  He understands that, and until you understand FROM HIM His love as a Father for you, who He is as a Father for you, what that means for your good, AND not only know that that is real in your heart from Him giving that relationship but ALSO learning to love yourself as He loves you so that YOU want those things for you too, you won't have a desire for repentance that goes beyond "don't punish me" and "because I have to" which neither of those is real obedience ANYWAYS.

PRAY for Jesus to heal the things that are between you and the Lord that you don't yet understand, because He does see and understand them.

I didn't even know some of the things He has shown me in the last few months.

I grew up either never being good enough, which continues in my marriage and with people in my adult life, or if I was good or did good it was not even seen or recognized.

I did not know this has affected me and my obedience until the Father started healing me and helping me understand, now I see that that is why God says Fathers do not be harsh with your children lest they give up wanting to do right, which I suspect YOU have had people be harsh with you without praising you and "gave up doing right" because you do not yet see GODS praise and love for you.

That is only a part of this healing process, one I went through only today this morning, seeing how my moms harshness and lack of praise made me grow up not motivated to try. That is something I never knew, never saw or felt that wound consiously, till He showed me it.

These are things that either have not been healed, OR are wounds you don't even know exist that only He knows are there and happened.

Pray for HEALING, and that will help you to have restored obedience.

I know this is not something I have seen taught in churches, I only know about this because God began to heal the Father relationship for me and to re-parent and because GOD decided to jump into this wounds thing, not because I went to Him asking for healing after understanding these hurts, I did pray for the ones I knew about but I am learning about stuff I did not know about myself, how I see myself, how I learned to think and how my life, experiences, hurts and the world reflected on Him in false ways.

Everyone wants to tell you to just submit, but really the truth is most people have bible verses to quote and platitudes to give that are not real answers and the easiest way to address a problem.

Most of the time our problems are not easy, it just makes people feel better to think they can make it easy or call it easy or give an easy answer and its fixed.

Pray that if this is a healing issue, God knows that, and that He do the Healing that you NEED because of His faithfulness and understanding, even though you might not understand. I know that this sounds scary maybe, when someone talked to me about Father healing I htought it would be hard painful oh no situation, but it has actually been awesome and so needed and I have so much more peace and has given me more of the love I looked for in family, friends boyfriends and getting married and from my kids but never found it.

This is the way to the love you are looking for, FROM HIM, not getting a wife, a wife is gonna fail you, there is no perfect love marriage, what you need is Him to heal the hurt that caused you to look for the filling of that hole and the healing of that pain for real, not with another thing you chase to make it feel better until that thing that you chase this time around ( a wife instead of a girlfriend instead of a job instead of insert thing here that failed before) doesnt work AGAIN.

THERE IS A REASON YOUR JOB GIRLFRIENDS FAMILY FRIENDS THE THINGS YOU RAN AFTER TO FEEL RELIEF FROM THAT THING YOU FEEL THAT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND DIDN'T WORK. Because there is only one way to fix that wound. Its why you find yourself always thinking this will work and it doesnt a year later, and you find another thing that will work and it doesnt. Trust me on this, I spent 30 years chasing band aids that let me down over and over. Healing is from Him healing Father God for you, not the band aids you slap on that feel ok for a month then fall off and you hurt again the same as before.

There was a pastor who was approached by a woman from his church, and this woman asked him to go and pray for her sister. She said her sister was very sick with a virus in the membrane of her brain but didnt say any more than that. She knew he was a stubborn man.

The pastor went to the hospital at the womans request, and found out that it was much worse than the woman had let on. The woman's sister had been in a coma for a year I think, it was a long time I don't remember exactly, and the brain infectrion was not simply a virus in the membrane of her brain, it was literally infused with and covering her brain. The doctors said it was completely hopeless.

God told the pastor to pray.

He prayed for her.

Nothing happened.

God told the pastor to pray.

He prayed.

Nothing happened.

This continued for 6 months, an hour a day 5 days a week the pastor stood at her bedside and prayed weekly, and nothing changed.

He began to lose hope and faith, asking if God had really asked him to go and pray for this woman, after all it had been 6 months now, daily, and had even invade his home life where he was led to pray the same prayers having him lose sleep, skip meals with his family too busy praying, etc.

Still no signs of change at all,

This continued for a year and a half, the pastor was stubborn, God had asked him to pray.

The woman's sister, the one who had asked him in the church to visit her sister, called him one night. She said he had better come quick cause the doctors had just called her and somehow her condition had worsened and she was not going to make it, and they were moving her and she was dying.

The pastor was furious.

He went to the hospital, even after being ridiculed all these years and now this woman was pretty much pronounced all but dead, and the doctors and nurses had berated him and called him a fool this whole time.

He stood there with this woman and in his heart he was angry, stubborn, and prayed again, proclaiming that his God would not give up and they were NOT going to be defeated, and he prayed. The woman was being wheeled out to her new room, he was walking beside her not giving up as they tried ignored him, and the woman woke up and the first thing she said was praise Jesus.

It took a year and half of praying, stubbornness, hopelessness, unanswered prayer, unreasonable faith, broken faith and continued obedience, sleeplessness, and missed meals and one stubborn pastor. She woke up a year and half after the first day he prayed.

So just because it doesn't LOOK like your prayers are answered, you don't know always.

Other times, the answer is simply no but since you don't know the mind of God, sometimes, the mind of God is more to develop something in you than to heal someone else, that pastor learned a LOT about standing on his faith through that.

I will be praying for you Mississippi. The Lord found me a job but what I didn't know when He did it it it was more to get me over job anxiety than the income, which put me on better ground to pray through the anxiety that I have had over the years from losing jobs. Before that I was passing a place I wanted to work and He said just go in and apply and if this is THE job you want then you'll have it. He does care about your having a financial life as well as your heart and mind and spirit.

Have you taken the opportunity to witness to your cruel neighbors? Why not invite them onto the porch for a cup of tea or coffee and tell them about all of God's acts of love for you in your life, and all the goodness He has done for you, and make the point of how that has healed you, and how their kindness and helping and being good to others might spread healing into the world the way that people have helped you heal over the years? This may be an opportunity to witness to them, and if they refuse you, well, they might go away just to not be preached to. It's worth a shot isn't it?