Arbykeen

I have accepted Jesus as my Savior. Not much said about the sin of the wife for withholding intimate relations long before any strip club. There fore most of the responses were cherry-picking the Bible for their own uses. They did not use all of the good book any the pieces they wanted to cast stones. You were kind but still not free of sin.

Yes please look into the mirror. Cherry picking is exactly what my wife has done to me. She picks the things that best serve her idesa and puts them in front of me, but forgets anything that might make her look bad. I feel that is what has been done in these reply including you. I do admit that I don't know what a born-again means but it almost sounds like sinners have repented and now think they are better then others. I will have look up the real meaning of born-again.

To all. We are NOT born again Christian's. We both believe in GOD. She was raised Catholic but does not go to mass very often (mostly funerals and weddings) I do not attend church because of problems with organized churches in the past. I support anyone who goes to church but it's not for me. My wife and I had a great marriage for many years but in the later years a lot of things happened, on both sides. Her interest in intimate contact really diminished mine did not. I tried to be intimate but there was almost always an excuse and after so many "NO's" I asked less, I still tried but less often. After my losses in 2011 & 2012 I needed and wanted her but she still had excuses. A physical affair was not an option so I opted for a strip club and that was enough. After that it took awhile but I thought we were doing OK. Her attitude changed but I just lived with it I still loved her. This year many things happened not related to this subject but that put more strain on both of us. We were both irritated and she was not feeling well and our communication was broke. We have now agreed on that. Then the day I was broke mentally and left for the strip club. Two weeks of pure HELL for both of us, much soul searching and lots and lots of words - not all pleasant. We now have calmed down and agreed to dis-agree. I can only hope that each of you have a great sex life with your husbands because that is in the Bible also. Let those free of sin cast the first stone. Just remember that the only PERFECT man was hung on the cross!

I am that husband! In 2011 my mother passed away, then in 2012 my aunt (just one year older than) passed as well as a same age cousin that I was close with. I needed a lot of attention from my wife but received some but little and only on her terms and times. Having asked for loving attention a letter number of times and hardly received any. I was very upset and depressed. I just lost it and went to a local strip club several times in a week. My with found out and confronted me about my whereabouts and I lied about it at first then finally came clean. She was very upset twice, once for lying and once for going to the club. It took almost a year for her to calm down. Our intamancy was ok but I wanted more and more and she was only when she was ready. Now to 2017, my wife started to feel real bad with medical problems but refused to go to the doctor. Then I slipped, fell and broke my ankle Jan 31 and was laid up and not upright and mobile until June. She pushed through her medical problems and did all she could. In early July I was very interested in snuggling and cudling but we only found time for a 6 day period then her medical problems flared up and everything I did was wrong. My depression and anger was getting to me, she was being very confrontational with family members one-on-one which I could not handle menantely, and I expressed my problem and asked her to stop the confrontations. She did not stop! The other big problem in our house is that my 90 year old father is living with us and requires our attention to feed him every day and some other small problems, all which was hitting me hard in my mind and my wife was not happy about the whole situation. A week ago on Saturday our daughter and grandson was at the house and a big problem came up. I tried to be calm and should have left but didn't. A big confrontation occurred and I lost it and left. I was so frustrated and spent the day going to a couple of strip clubs. Only had any dances in one of them. When I finally came home nothing was said but Sunday morning everything came to a head. "Where were you yesterday?". "I went to girly bars." "Thanks for telling the truth but . .". You cheated on me. You brought another women into our marriage. (43 YEARS) You were told 5 years ago never to do that again. You have STDs and who knows what else. You cheated on me. You broke a motral sin. You will never touch me again. This is the second time you did this to me. MY thoughts on this is that I did not have a sexual affair, did nothing to get any STD's, and I do not consider this cheating. I felt a need for female attention and this was the only way I knew how to get some. We are probably done as a couple - 43 yrs married - I am 69 she is 67. We have tried to talk but every time it ends in a heated argument. Also we have probably had sex 5 or6 times in the last 10 years. I have ED so intercourse is out of the question and I thought that intense snuggling and touching and feeling was hopefully enough for both of us, I know it was enough for me. Should she kick me out. We now know it was a mutual problem, the percentages we agree to disagree. HELP WE NEED OPINIONS!!!!