i need someone to talk to pre badly. ive screwed up on my life, ive been horrible to god and took it out on him because he woulnt give me a miracle, i realized im the one creating my own pain. god just gave me one more chance boy am i lucky, guys we have a really good god, like REALLY good god. i have horrible depression and anxiety, i cant get out of my room, ive been in it for 2 years without barely leaving my room. ive blocked out his love many times because he wont give me what it want. ive broken his heart. i realized ill never be ok without his love even if my desires come true. so here i am in my room, scouring my mind for a way... but i think i need to hibernate till something happens, time to stop wanting things. god is all i need. edit: as i just wrote the last part i kinda screwed it up again. i was about to accept that hes all i need but i denied it and thought for a second if he is really all i need, i think that just blocked me out of heaven and my heart is cold.. im alone, no family,.. gods distant and no friends.
