I have trouble just typing that word. Is anyone else here afraid of eternity? It disturbs me. Forever. Infinity. Never able to make it stop. I had believed that hell meant that a person ceases to exist. Blackness. Eternal sleep. So I wanted to go to hell. Now I know that hell is a conscious place. So I need to stop rejecting God and believe on him. But if my number one phobia is eternal consciousness, yet God IS eternal, he was and is and is to come. He's eternity. Eternity wants to live in me, and me in him? I'm afraid of "forever" yet God is bigger than forever. I'm afraid of God. God is my phobia? I'm afraid of infinity. God's already lived an infinite amount of time? All his attributes are infinite. I want to know and love him but that's asking me to know and love what I'm most afraid of.
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