Hello, I am new to this forum and am seeking some advise. I have been married for 28 yrs. I rededicated my life to the Lord about 3 1/2 yrs ago. My husband is not following the Lord and has no interest. Back when we first got married my husband cheated on me. I never suspected but found out about 10 yrs ago, it was a very difficult time in our marriage but we got through it and we have had good marriage since and have not ever suspected him of cheating ever. We do have ups and downs but for the most part it has been good other than he puts down my faith a lot because he blames God for a lot of stuff in his life, medical issues.
Anyways to the problem, my husband works from and and is also an avid dirt bike rider. He rides with a lot of different groups. About 2 years ago he started riding with a few guys and from this he has met a lot more riders that these guys know. About 2 weeks ago he was put into contact with a female friend rider of one of these guys, through messenger on facebook, so basically a conversation was set up, she needed advise on her bike and my husband has worked on some of these other guys stuff in the past. My husband and I share a facebook page so I see everything they are saying to each other. I had no problem with this. She immediately sent a friend request, which I thought was weird because we (he) doesnt even know her, just because you have a conversation with someone doesn't mean you need to be friends on facebook, anyways the request sat in the notifications for a few day until I deleted it. My husband became angry with me saying that was a slap in the face to her and why I would do that, I said I didn't see any reason to accept it since we don't know her. I don't know if he was so mad because he claims she can see it was deleted or if it's because he knows most of the guys she does. So they discussed her bringing her bike over for him to work on, she asked if she could help and my husband said no because he had other jobs to do, so she ended up saying she could probably do it herself and they spent the next week corresponding basically her asking questions and him helping her through this repair. Well then after she did this she needed something else adj. she was talking to him about this but my husband said it's too hard to just walk someone through, so he gave her our number so she could arrange to bring it. She called and during the conversation it was evident she wanted to know how to do this so my husband said he would show her how to do it. It will probably take 45 min . So I became upset that he would actually work on the bike with her, I didn't understand this as shops don't show their customers how to repair their bikes. He said that he will show her and she wont have to bring the bike here again.
My biggest concern is now that they "know" each other, she is going to start riding in his group when they go riding, he insists that wouldn't happen but I find that very hard to believe since every single guy he has ridden with knows her well and rides with her all the time. He says it has never happened over the last couple of years, I explained maybe either luck or that since she didn't "know" you she didn't go. Her boyfriend is someone my husband has ridden with as well. I just feel very uncomfortable about that having females in the group however I don't want to seem like a jealous person and make a big deal out nothing. Am I wrong to feel this way? Is there anything wrong with married men associated with unmarried women in groups? I just know that I would not feel comfortable doing it. He just never rarely "shows" people how to fix their bike, I'm not saying he never has but it's rare, I don't know if most people just don't want to and she does or what.
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Hello, I am new to this forum and am seeking some advise. I have been married for 28 yrs. I rededicated my life to the Lord about 3 1/2 yrs ago. My husband is not following the Lord and has no interest. Back when we first got married my husband cheated on me. I never suspected but found out about 10 yrs ago, it was a very difficult time in our marriage but we got through it and we have had good marriage since and have not ever suspected him of cheating ever. We do have ups and downs but for the most part it has been good other than he puts down my faith a lot because he blames God for a lot of stuff in his life, medical issues.
Anyways to the problem, my husband works from and and is also an avid dirt bike rider. He rides with a lot of different groups. About 2 years ago he started riding with a few guys and from this he has met a lot more riders that these guys know. About 2 weeks ago he was put into contact with a female friend rider of one of these guys, through messenger on facebook, so basically a conversation was set up, she needed advise on her bike and my husband has worked on some of these other guys stuff in the past. My husband and I share a facebook page so I see everything they are saying to each other. I had no problem with this. She immediately sent a friend request, which I thought was weird because we (he) doesnt even know her, just because you have a conversation with someone doesn't mean you need to be friends on facebook, anyways the request sat in the notifications for a few day until I deleted it. My husband became angry with me saying that was a slap in the face to her and why I would do that, I said I didn't see any reason to accept it since we don't know her. I don't know if he was so mad because he claims she can see it was deleted or if it's because he knows most of the guys she does. So they discussed her bringing her bike over for him to work on, she asked if she could help and my husband said no because he had other jobs to do, so she ended up saying she could probably do it herself and they spent the next week corresponding basically her asking questions and him helping her through this repair. Well then after she did this she needed something else adj. she was talking to him about this but my husband said it's too hard to just walk someone through, so he gave her our number so she could arrange to bring it. She called and during the conversation it was evident she wanted to know how to do this so my husband said he would show her how to do it. It will probably take 45 min . So I became upset that he would actually work on the bike with her, I didn't understand this as shops don't show their customers how to repair their bikes. He said that he will show her and she wont have to bring the bike here again.
My biggest concern is now that they "know" each other, she is going to start riding in his group when they go riding, he insists that wouldn't happen but I find that very hard to believe since every single guy he has ridden with knows her well and rides with her all the time. He says it has never happened over the last couple of years, I explained maybe either luck or that since she didn't "know" you she didn't go. Her boyfriend is someone my husband has ridden with as well. I just feel very uncomfortable about that having females in the group however I don't want to seem like a jealous person and make a big deal out nothing. Am I wrong to feel this way? Is there anything wrong with married men associated with unmarried women in groups? I just know that I would not feel comfortable doing it. He just never rarely "shows" people how to fix their bike, I'm not saying he never has but it's rare, I don't know if most people just don't want to and she does or what.
Please any advise would be great