GoofyGirl

I've been praying for so long but haven't been recently. I'll do that though thanks for the reminder

Hey everyone , I wasn't sure which topic to post this under so I chose this one. I'm having trouble figuring out what I want in life. I know I want to go to university.. but I have NO idea what I want to study. And the problem is, it's been this way for YEARS! I have no idea what to do with my life. Everyone's already up and moving out of their homes and having children etc. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2009 ( I was 19 then). It's held me back from doing so much along with this deal I've made with the enemy (post about it is under 'prayer request'). Right now I want to do something & I'm thinking of making a list of goals but I have no idea where to start. I wanna learn to drive but I'm kinda afraid especially because it means I'll have to go outside. My plan for next year is to attend some classes at a place for people with an illness such as mine. I know i'll be with people who've been through what I've been through but that's all I have. They only do recovery courses. What should I do and where should I start?

Hey guys, It's a pretty long read! This is my first time posting under this topic but I know I can't stay this way forever. I've been feeling down about alot of things. Especially with my self esteem. When I'm at home I'm comfortable with myself...But as soon as I step out there, even if it's just to go to the shops, I feel I need to wear the right clothes, wear the right make up & so on. My confidence is horrible and I always compare myself to other girls. There was a time where I was confident with myself & in my eyes everyone was beautiful. The other thing is my past. I try my BEST to forget about it. I block certain people on fb even though we aint fb friends, just so I'm not able to see their fb page. I'm feeling down because I wonder to myself : How could go let me go through that? The guy I loved, loved someone else & now they're married. But I still can't get over him & it makes me even more upset. I feel like I have no one. I pray and i cry out to god. But deep down inside I feel like nothing.I feel worthless. I haven't really told anyone about it because they wouldn't understand. I'm hurt cause I feel like god is the one who hurt me even though I know it was probably my fault that I fell for the guy in the first place. It was all in my head. It's been it's been about 3 years now since I've tried to move on. I feel like a fool because we didn't even date! It was all in my mind. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel so miserable to the point to where I just want to end my life but I choose not to. I plan it in my head but I don't have the guts to jump off a bridge or drown myself. I've overdosed so many times and it never worked so I'm out of options anyway. I don't know what to do. Every time I think I'm over him, all the feelings just come back! My aunty told me that the only way I can get over this guy is if I fall inlove with another man. And I'm hoping that man is coming soon but I can tell it's gonna be YEARS till a man walks in my life knowing I don't get out much cause of my mental illness. Its just problem after problem. Sometimes I cry myself at night. In my mind, It's like I see god laughing with joy as he sees this man & everyone else be happy. And it's like he doesn't even know i'm there. I'm trying not to cry right now cause my brother could walk out of his room any minute and see me LOL I wished I knew what to do. I've been praying for YEARS & I have no more patience but to leave this where it is and to just keep trying to move forward with my life. gbu.

Thanks bo. Nope, I'm still on medication, I haven't stopped taking medication eversince. I think either you misread what I wrote or I didn't explain it properly. I wasn't saying that my mental illness was a spiritual attack. I had spiritual attacks that were similiar to my mental illness if that makes sense. Like e.g. I would hear laughing & stuff. I hope he takes it away cause I haven't been able to live my life since I was sick. I can't even study & I haven't even had my first job yet . It really hurts & thanks for the prayers gbu

Hey guys, Wasn't really sure where to post this so I'd thought I'd just post it here & the mods can move it somewhere else if they want to. So my problem is, I'm confused. I'm confused whether god has healed me or IS healing me at the moment & if it's all in my head. I'll try & explain things so you's can understand what I'm on about. When I was 19, I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. It took me a year to heal after being on medication. Things were good after I was back to my 'normal' state.. but I had 'leftovers'. I'd hear voices sometimes but other than that I could manage it & I was okay. When I was nearly 21, I messed around with witchcraft. BIG NO NO but I did it anyways. I made a deal with the devil but won't say what it was about. I just wanted to have fun. Anyways, my life was a living hell obviously. I couldn't sleep at night properly, kept having dreams about fire like i was going to hell & other things. But, the one that got me the most was that REAL people, could control me. It's really hard to explain. It was like they could see me! And when they saw me in person they'd just laugh at me. Now I know I sound paranoid & I understand because I did have a mental illness. What I'm confused about is if god has healed that spiritual suffering. I'm 23 years old now. I haven't been near that witchcraft stuff. God has taken away the fire/hell dreams & now I'm wondering if he's taking away my spiritual paranoia or is healing me of both my spiritual problem and my mental illness. He took away my fire/hell dreams when I made a decision to get help. I rang the doctor up and told him I overdosed when trying to commit suicide. This was in 2011, I was 21. Eversince then, I've only had about 2 or 3 fire dreams. Thats it .I'm confused because.. well, things are getting better. I feel.. more free, you know? I've been praying for him to break me free for awhile now & i'm wondering if he's answering my prayers? The consequences that I had to suffer when I dabbled into witchcraft include - hearing demonic laughs/voices, hearing people laugh like they could see me, having hell/fire dreams ( they are gone now as i mentioned before), etc. So yeah, do you's think that he's answering my prayers? Because I'm ready to go back to church, I'm ready to move on with my life, I'm ready to get out there & live a normal life but I have this doubt that's hanging around. Last night I heard a voice through my ear phones as I was listening to my Ipod and I know for sure that it's a spiritual attack and has nothing to do with my paranoia That's what makes me doubt if he's healing me. So, do yous think that he's answering my prayers or is it all in my head and i'm still sick? Just don't wanna be confused. Thanks guys GOD BLESS YOU's !

Well it really did happen to me but if it disturbs anyone i might take it down

thanks it took me months to recover and get my faith back. I strayed for awhile but i'm slowly coming home

Warning - Might scare some people ! This all happened in 2009 - October. It all started at the doctors appointment mum had. Well actually it started days before that but to cut the story short and get to the main points it was my fault. I was decieved in my mind because my mind is my weakest spot. I thought there were angels standing around me praying for me and i asked them to come into my body NOW I KNOW THAT IS NOT TRUE lol I know it was really silly of me but i learnt my lesson. So then it started off from there. I had different voices, i was strangling myself, i was actually having fun cause i thought that my family was with me because i was lonley at the time. . I would have my favourite auntys voice, my uncles voice and all these different type of voices. I even thought i had god's voice ! Let's just say the demons ( if it was demons ) were having fun. Anyway wherever i looked i would see demons on the curtain, on the couch even in the clouds ! Just smiling and scaring me ! The demons i saw on the curtain and couches would be fighting eachother, i even saw them on the walls ! So lets just say i had no ecape in my house. I was even introduced to a ghost witch ( result of being involved in witchcraft at the age of 8 and 14 , I'm 20 now ). The voices in me would say " Come here let us introduce you to your witch ". Off goes the light , there i saw a ghost witch with flies flying around its head lying on my bed. I was afraid of course ! I even saw ghost curtains, went through a process of believing that this boy was satan's son and i was god's daughter and i had to save him ! I would spin around and around and around and thought i'd changed ages. I even thought I was in heaven and I'd look out my window and think that every house would belong to a special person that god had instore for them and that they were rich houses that he had. The sky would be blue and there were doves flying around too it was peacefull ! I even got to the point where "benjamin" was my little brother and i had to save him from satan ! So yes i was greatly decieved ! I believed the devil was laughing at me the whole time but he had no idea that god was waiting to protect me. To shower his upon me =]. The day my faith hit rockbottom was on a Sunday. I kept telling mum i was sick but she didn't believe me. She got out the bible and started reading, but as soon as I looked at it all the words started to change into the exact opposite .... talk about a satan bible ! Everything was like THOU SHALT LIE THOU SHALL MAKE IDOLS etc etc and i was afraid and lost hope in getting better. Anyway I went with mum to her doctor's appointment and sat there with her. It was weird cause now I was HEARING the voices that SOUNDED like my aunty's voice that I had in ME. I sat there and listened for awhile and they were calling me and LAUGHING so hard off their face they could've fell off whatever they were sitting on. They were saying " look she can hear us ! " and laughing so hard. I walked to the toilets to wash my face, to my surprise no voices. It seemed that the toilets was my safe spot, I have no idea why but the toilets was where i felt safe. Anyway I walked back to mum and she got up and went in with the doctor while I waited. All of a sudden everyones faces slowly started to change into monsters. It was then that i believed I was in hell and needed to wake up quickly before things were too late. But little did I know that the day it all started it was ALREADY too late. I bet Satan couldn't laugh any harder. When I looked at tv and saw all the bad disastrous things that were happening I wanted to get out of hell straight away ! I walked outside and drank my last bottle of water. All of a sudden it started to get hot... and I mean ..REALLY hot. It wasn't even hot that day ! It was freezing cold ! I stood there looked up as the sky turned into black , turned to the buildings and the had ashes all around them , even the ground ! I decided that because I was in "hell" I had to find a way to escape. I walked around looking for a church , but then because I was loosing faith and thought I was in hell I had the belief that church was an occult and it's where they learn about satan. So i turned around and nearly jumped off a bridge, the only thing that stood in my way was this big black bird. I was afraid it would pluck me eyes out so i kept walking up and down the same path. Mum then drove past and I jumped in the car as she gave me a lecture on walking off like that, but obviously she didn't know what was going on. As i looked at the sky they started to fill with monster clouds and ashes ! It started to get hotter . We were on our way to the plaza/shops. Mum went in to do her shopping, I stayed in the car. The car started to change into something rusty. I put on the radio and all i heard was my brothers hiphop secular music and it was all evil to my ears and started to scare me so I kept changing every song to see if there was any about god. None. I got out the car and tried to kill myself to get runned over cause I thought that since I was hell I might as well do it since I had no escape. I even tried to drive the car so I could crash and kill myself but praise the lord I cannot drive! I forgot to put the handbrake down LOL ! Mum came back and saw the car window down with nobody inside. Upset she drove me back home. That's when all the spinning and singing and everything started. My brother & mum were getting ready to go to the shops again cause it was her 60th birthday and how dare I ruin that birthday ! To cut things short . I was running around touching everything cause I believed that if I did it would be blessed. But dad kept following me and I thought he was demon lol He tried to explain to me how sorry he was and showed me a picture of my great grandmother who passed away when i was 9. But when I did look at it all i saw was 8 demons staring back at me in the picture and I ran off. I ran straight to the computer to find a gospel song and I kept going back to "Fred Hammond - Your Love Is " . And because i believed I was in hell I wanted everyone to know I was here and I knew they'd hate it but I wanted them to know that I was a witness to God so I blasted up the computer speakers as loud as it could go . My dad came in and all of a sudden I just thought he was Satan So I kept punching him asking him to give back "Benjamin" . Then my brother discouraged my faith as I started preaching to him out of nowhere , I'd find every verse relating to " Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life" . But I didn't know that that verse was for me ! My was being attacked and I didn't realise it ! I must've let Satan in my heart without knowing what I was getting into ! I told my parents that I'd go to the shops just to escape them. I nearly killed myself by walking into the nearby lake but because I'm scared of water I dared not to. The voices would tell me to walk in because it was the only way I'd get to heaven or earth and be safe again ! I then refused because of my fear and walked back to the path I was on. I heard voices mocking my age saying i was 4 then 8 then 9 etc. The ground was full of ashes and i felt as though my feet were burning through the soles of my shoes. My dad then rang and came and picked me up. Took me back home. And then I went upstairs to get changed. Went upside down in the shower and nearly died drowning in the shower, all I was thinking about was god and I didn't even care if I died cause I knew it was for a good cause, but then i remembered god teaching me about temptation and I saw a picture of a crocodile then i fell down ! I ran outside and started spinning around cause i believed that it was the only way to get to heaven. But funny thing was even though I believed i was in hell I was spinning around singing praises to god. Mainly the song " Fred Hammond - Your love is. I would sing out to god and I'd hear voices telling me WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ! And cursing and swearing tell me to shut up ! I dare not to cause my faith relyed on my singing to god. I got dizzy and fell down and felt as if the grass was going around my arms and the vines crawling upon me holding me down, the grass felt so sticky and sharp. I went back inside and started spinning around singing out loudly to god, thats when my faith hit rock bottom. When my mum & brother returned home I felt as if demons were laughing at me, discouraging me . They tried to pull me back in but I was too strong for the 3 of them ! and my dad is a big man ! I ran straight back out and started singing again to god I would'nt give up ! I was screaming Repent repent for the kingdom is near ! All of a sudden I was afraid and I started screaming out He's coming ! He's coming ! Jesus is coming ! I have no idea why i was afraid lol ! I don't know if it was me or the demon lol ! When my faith hit rock bottom I was weak and had no faith and didn't believe in god anymore. I felt that there was no god and it was all a lie and I was depressed as i was spinning around for nothing . All of a sudden i felt a power overcome me ! I started spinning around and acted like/felt like i was being hit with words and out of nowhere the words LOVE JOY PEACE HAPPINESS COMFORT etc ALL THE FRUITS OF THE HOLYSPIRIT came out of my mouth and i kept repeating it over and over and over and i knew that the lord was comforting me. But then my family dragged me back in the house. I ran upstairs and was about to jump out the window till my brother growled me to come back inside ! I came back inside and there standing before me were about 8 or 9 people...and what did i see ? 8 or 9 demons standing there with big smiles on their faces happy to see me . The polynesians sometimes believe that there are ghosts around so they tried to put this medicine in me to take the ghost away and i heard a voice in me say a name but i dare not say it because how the bible says that once your dead your dead. I was actually about to say LUST GLUTTONY and all these other sins but i couldn't , when I was about to say those words the faces around me didn't look happy at all so i kept quiet . I was lying there and as they put the medicine in i thought they drugging me so i spat it back out. All of a sudden the walls changed into green moss and had insects all over them ( im afraid of insects) and then it dissapeared. The people were asking me ( well the demons ) were asking me , WHERE IS HE NOW ? and i go who ? and they go .. WHO ARE YOU CALLING TO ? with a big smile on their face and laughing at me. I didn't say a word. We went downstairs and they tried again. Didn't work. I then got up and looked around i saw a monster, a zombie, gluttony pride lust etc those were the demons i saw in people but little did i know that those demons were in me ! Because i had the belief of being god's daughter i started singing praises to the lord non-stop. I didn't care if they weren't happy I just kept singing praises. My dad was holding me back but I tried to break free because I don't like it when men hold me ( I was sexually abused when i was 6-11 years thats why). The police then came and asked me if I was on drugs and never in my life have I been on drugs ! ever ! or was an alcoholic either ! They took me to the hospital where the voices continued. I sat there with confidence. And remembered the song sung at my baptism . Emotions - Peace be still ... Master.. the tempest is raging .. the billows the billows are tossing high ... the sky is over shadowed with blackness..no hope .. no help is nigh .. the wind and the rain shall obey thy will .. peace be still peace be still oh peace be still peace be still .. and thats how my experience went. Exactly like the song. When i looked at the sky it was all black and bats were flying around. When i looked at the hospital staff I only saw Zombies, nothing else. They then transferred me to another hospital and on the way God was comforting me with pure songs like beyonce - halo and " say a little prayer for you " . Any other song that wasn't pure was from hell , well that's what I believed at the time. I went to the hospital , looked up at the sky ( heaven) and told god I'd come back. For months i was tormented with demons ! Every time i closed my eyes i'd see demons. Even the feeling of someone sitting down on my bed, footsteps walking around my room and dreams too . Even saw them through people. I'd sit down and pretend there was children there to teach them the bible. Mum came in and everytime she did i'd reject them all the time. But then one day I was back to normal and she said that nanna prayed a prayer for me to get better ( she lives overseas) . It shows how powerful prayer is. But then I slowly came back to reality. And here i am now ! How i learnt about god's comfort, timing, love and protection . Sounds strange this story, but it happened. And it was the best of day of my life Take care

Hey everyone ! This is another dream I had . My first one was this one . http://www.worthychristianforums.com/learn...od-t119609.html Here's another dream I had after I went demon-possessed. I was in this area kind of like israel back in the days with the old brick houses and sand everywhere. Israel/egypt kind of area at a market. But to me I was definitely sure it was Israel. Anyway I was walking around and saw all these horrible acts being done like cutting of hands etc. Basically anything violent was being done.Anyway I was walking and I saw this girl I knew from school . I looked at her and she'd click her fingers and say "happy ! " and then a person who was happy would come out all happy. Then she'd click her fingers again and say " depressed ! " and then the same person came except they were depressed would come. It's like there were clones everywhere ! Then she'd click her fingers and say " moody ! " and a moody person would come ... "anger ! " and angry person would come. I looked her and then wondered .... how many clones do I have ? I saw 2 people standing there by this door and realised it was me. I saw a tomboy looking me ( my tomboy side ) and a depressed side to me ( going through depression) and the depressed me said .. " Am i happy ? " and was confused, exactly like i was at the time. Then all of a sudden my friend started walking off and I looked around realised that the clones were fake and I was the only real "me" there. Next thing you know we're on top of a open-roof with a door there. I looked at my friend cause I knew it was evil and said to her " Who are you REALLY ? " All of a sudden she slowly turned into a witch and smiled and looked at me. She then walked to the door where I followed her. I walked inside and saw 6/7 demons sitting there and another one doing his hair in the bathroom plus her which makes about 8/9 of them I think. I looked at her and realised that the living room we were in was my heart , I turned to her and said to her " How many of you'se in here ? " She said to me " ohhh just about 7 or 8 of us " and she grinned. Then she said so what are you scared of and a grasshopper appeared ( I hate insects) then a spider. She was trying to scare me with them and I said to her " Do you know who I'm scared of ?? .. God ! " And then all of a sudden I had three visions. The holyspirit fell upon me and I repeated whatever it said. I said God and god came down standing there with his arms folded looked a bit upset like he expected something from me , but I knew he was telling me who was boss in the situation. I looked over to the demons and they hid theyre faces immediately and didn't say a word ! Then another vision showed up and a guardian angel came down then another vision and i saw Jesus with rods ! I guess the rods were to attack the demons. And then after that i new i was missing something and i said " ohh ! holyspirit ! " and the songs hillsongs - holyspirit rain down came on and I started to sing the song. I then woke up in my dream and i was lying on bed looked at me door and saw a zombie standing there then after that i had a big black spider holding me down. Then i saw god on his throne with a smile on his face And when i woke up he was talking to me in my heart. I often talk to my relatives and they say that it wasn't a spider holding me down but Satan. Oh how powerful god is when we loose faith ! How faithful he is when we stray ! Praise god ! Take care

hey there ! yeah i had a demon with me from witchcraft too ! He'd show up everytime before someone died. I'd have dreams about people who died and i use to see this hooded figured show up as a sign. But usually he'd show up in a dream first hurting my knee and i'd wake up with the pain . But eversince last year i don't see him anymore ! lol i dont get the dreams either ! i don't know what happened but i thank god its stopped ! its been happening for about 4 years !

How i learnt that god is powerful. Well I always knew that god was powerful but I think he had a reason to show me how powerful he was because he knew that i'd give in to Satan's power instead of realising how powerful he was. Well anyway I had this dream. I saw god sitting on the throne with jesus on right shoulder just looking at me. No facial expressions whatsoever and i thought to myself uh-oh what did i do this time ! After being in his presence I woke up and heard a door open and then a big stone roll away and whispering. As i sat up all of a sudden i couldn't open my eyes at all ! I had about 5 demons around me laughing saying " I know you ain't gonna dig this " and they were laughing at me like there was no end of the world cause i couldn't open my eyes ! All of a sudden I "spiritually" saw god standing at my window looking inside and straight away the demons kept their mouths shut and dare not laugh anymore. I opened my eyes and cried to god asking him " Don't you love me ? ". But then i realised that he did, he was just showing me how powerful he was and showing me who really is boss ! God is so powerful !