flemistk83

Hello, I am new to this forum and would like to seek advice. I'll try to keep it short. I have been married for 12 years, together for 14. I became a Christian after marriage and my husband is not. I wish I had paid attention to all of the red flags while we dated and read the bible before to save me from all the heart ache. Our first year we were military, stationed in Japan. It was just us. We had friends, but there were boundaries. After we moved back to the states, he dumped me for his friends and family. We lived together, but he spent most of his time with them. The last 12 years have been awful. He's a pathological liar. He's constantly talking to females with questionable activity. Although I have my suspicions and some clues, I cannot say 100% without a doubt he's cheating. He's refuses to get a full-time job. Currently, he's a cashier. I've applied for jobs for him with his consent, but he says no one call him back, but I went through his email I found out people have contacted him to set up interviews. I pay for everything minus whatever he can give me on the mortgage. It helps. He's an awful father and very demanding of the kids, nothing is ever good enough. He does not spend anything with them. He put the tv on or they are with my mother in her room while he watches tv. I found out another female was on his bank account, but he lied about that. He's constantly complaining about the house. I'll clean up and then he'll find something else to complain out. I would like to do counseling, but he refuses. My mother lives with us and pays me $400. I use that money for expenses. I cannot afford to divorce as I do not have a support network. We're barely making it now and with a divorce we will have 2 households and he will not be able to pay child support. Some women can move back home or with friends. I have no one. In a couple years, I may be able make enough to support myself and my kids and afford daycare for my youngest in the event of divorce. As for me, I'm not perfect. I spend most of my time working or with my kids. I talk down to him. I don't treat him like a spouse should. I'm burnt out. As a Christian, I know that infidelity can be grounds for divorce, but also know that God hates divorce. We took vows for better or worse, and this is definitely worse. What should I do? Should I stay and try to work it out, although it would be me trying. What do seasoned Christians do when they find themselves at odds with their non christian spouse? Unfortunately, my spouse is a stubborn man and is following in the footsteps of his mother. Thanks in advance for any replies. Keshia