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Christiaann

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  1. Hi, I'm in a pickle. About 6 years ago I met a man that I fell in love with. At that time I was not a Christian. I grew up in a Christian home but I didn't understand what Christianity meant. I am very committed to my studies and my sport so I never really dated until I was out of University. My dad says that's my problem, while other girls were learning about relationships and what they want in a man I was busy with other things. He says girls usually learn in High School what I was only learning after university. I graduated and wanted to play my sport professionally. While I was waiting for the professional season to start overseas, I was training with a men's football team and I met someone who became very special to me. We were just friends for a year but it slowly started escalating. The problem is he is a Muslim. He is not a practicing Muslim, he doesn't follow any of the Islams 5 pillars (he doesn't even know exactly what the 5 pillars are) but he says he was born Muslim so therefore he is Muslim. No matter how much I try to tell him that you cannot be born a religion he doesn't seem to understand and his heart is closed to Christianity because he has been hurt by Christians in the past. Whenever I try to discuss religion with him he closes up and becomes defensive. I'm not hitting him with the Bible I'm just trying to understand why he believes Islam is the truth. Back then things suddenly escalated very quickly between us and soon we were dating. We are still together and our relationship survived through 3 years of long distance. He is really my best friend. Now I've moved back to my country and we have moved in together (co-habitating) but I have also been growing stronger in my faith and I am feeling in my heart that I am doing so many things that wrong and that I am living in sin. I am working and studying again and we are both doing very well financially. He is now playing professional soccer and he wants to progress our relationship. He asked me the other night if I would want to get married in the courthouse and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I cannot get married before the government, if I get married I want to be able to do it without shame and before God. I cannot have a child with this man because we are not of equal mind. He wants to buy a house with me also but how can I now buy a house with him if I cannot marry or have a child with him. I love him so much and it breaks my heart that I have come to this conclusion so late. I wish I had known so many years ago so that I could have avoided this situation but I was so innocent, I didn't understand the gravity of my decision. I hate to think that I am maybe going to have to hurt my very best friend so much. We get along so well. We never fight, he treats me with respect. We are equals in all decisions and this is how I want my relationships to be. I just don't know what to do. We are renewing our lease this month. I have talked him out of buying a house for the time being. I feel it is too soon to drop this bomb on him right now after 6 years and move out by myself but I also feel the longer I let it sit in my heart without telling him the worse it will be as I am wasting his time. It feels like I'm tearing my own heart up and I cannot bear to hurt him, my instinct is to protect him, but I also cannot keep living with this guilt in my chest. I don't know how to tell him what is going on inside of my heart. I don't know how to tell him that I cannot continue this relationship if we do not know the same God. How do I tell this man that I love that my heart has changed and that I cannot be with him unless his heart will change for God? I don't think I will be able to speak when the time comes.
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