faithfull-prophet4040

Could some good hearted christian's preach some encouraging bible verses, and/or tell me exactly how to be saved? I am down too 9 cigarett's a day compared to 30-35 cigarett's a day, mainly I smoke in the morning, and after meal's besides that, I have a 7 mg nicotine patch on, and use a cheap vapor pen with 2.5% nicotine in it, and I just puff on that whenever I feel a craving to smoke, so i'm doing better BUT I am starting to get really irritable, and my memory just keep's getting worse, it's not per say my memory of earthly thing's, it's my spiritual memory I guess i could call it. I'm forgetting what it feels like to have faith, and hope, and to trust God, i'm forgetting how to do these thing's, as if The Holy Spirit is leaving me. I'm not saying that's what it is, i'm just saying that's what it feel's like. It's as if i'm hanging on to God by a rope that's ready to break yet i'm doing EVERYTHING possible to please him, and to stop sinning I used to watch like 3 movies a day literally, wethor it be comedy action whichever, and now i watch NO TV period. I used to listen to all kind's of music, very sinfull rap, and rock n roll, country, rnb etc... Then slowly drifted to just christian music only, now I don't even listen to music, just gospel beat's that are uplifting, or emotional. I like iv said used to take amphetamines in general.( I say in general because i took more than one kind) And was addicted for year's now i have qui,t and was addicted to opiod's only for about 5 month's, from getting them for a knee surgery, but still i had a mild addiction taking 3, 5mg oxycod0one a day every day for 5 month's straight. I did many sin's but my point is, iv STOPPED LITERALLY ALL OF THEM, besides a few, and now i'm even working on quitting another (cigarette's) but I still seem to drift further and further away from God and Jesus. Also my love isn't as strong as it used to be, I used to love a stranger, and could tell just by talking to them for a few minute's what kind of person they were, and would actually love them, no not as much as say my own mother but i would feel genuine love for the person. It may sound weird, but I would feel true love and empathy for the person, now I meet someone, and it's like I feel nothing for them, because I don't know them. Iv quit a lot of sin's and everything that the holy spirit offer's has gotten less and less within me. What can I do? I don't want to go to church because i'm anti-social and have panic attack's around large crowd's, or even a small crowd. And so that's not what I want to do right now, not even online. Any helpfull answer's i would appreciate, and bible verses about being restored, and/or about hope would help too.

I thought it was a very nice thing and that God would be pleased with me by having 3 roses 3 meaning's all in the form of a cross laying apon two poem's, for him. I know the roses are already his, heeverything is :), and he already know's what i have written on the paper'. It was just the whole point, going out of my way facing my fear's, and going to the church and laying it apon the alter. It's said many time's in the bible of people leaving thing's on the alter, so I don't get why it's so hard for people to understand why i wanted to do this.

I didn't see to gain nothing, i however felt it would be showing the lord i'm willing to face my fear's, and go into a church. As many have told me to go to church, but iv alway's had fear, social fear of seeing somebody at the church. Also it meant a lot to me that i would be going out of my way to place it on the alter for God, showing i'm putting in effort. Also even Jesus said to lay gift's on the alter, so it doesn't meen I was trying to gain anything.

I made 2 poems for God, and then sealed them with aloe ( I have an aloe plant) and took three wild rose I found, and put one facing up, one facing to the left laying across the rose facing up, and one facing the other way (again) laying on the first rose it made a cross and it was meant to symbolize (God) (The son) and (The Holy Spirit) 3 roses 3 meaning's, all in the form of a cross. And then I put it nicely in a box on top of the poem's, and sealed the box with 2 pieces of clear tape. I was going to walk it over to the church on FATHERS day (the church here stay's open till 12:00 PM on sunday's) and so I walked half way there, keeping everything in the box nicely in place, but after I got half way there I felt fear of leaving it there, and so I turned around. I feel horrible for not having the courage to leave it there, it meant a lot from me too God. Anyway's I just wanted to say that... Also I have went down to one cigarette per hour, compared to one every 25 minute's. (I said in one of my post's that I was going to quit smoking, and i'm trying.) Iv been using patches, and a puffy vapor pen, just a small little one. Now after all that being said, because I just wanted too say them thing's. Now for what i really made this post for, is I want to make a change, a huge change. I want to move somewhere hour's away from here where i'm at now. It is filled with my horrible memories of my sinful past, and I also don't like living right on the highway in an apartment, with people living literally on the other side of the wall. I feel no freedom here, I never get quite or no distraction's when praying, and I would just like to have peace for once. And so I am going to take the money I have I am going to move into a trailer in the country (not my dream home, but better then where i'm currently living) I am going to stop ALL SIN'S so that if a man ask's/say's are you a sinner or you are a sinner, I can say (What sin's do you accuse me of, and after they sit quiet for a few second's they will have nothing to say.) You may say do you ride in a vehicle? Your sinning right there polluting the air, the answer to that would be NO I don't because it pollutes the air. I walk everywhere I go, or ride bike if it's long distance's. Also I have already mentioned in all my other post's that i don't do ANYTHING even considered a sin aside from 4 things - smoke cigarette's, take suboxone, take klonopin, and use the internet. I will however be continuing using the internet, so that would be the only sin I could be accused of. Why do I want to do this, not just so I can say I don't sin, not for prideful reasons, but the true reasons is because, if i don't sin there will be nothing to accuse me (like I said), another is ll know i'm going to heaven, and I cannot, and will not believe that if I do NO sin's that God wouldn't be there for me. I feel sinning is what's separating me from him, and causing me to think he can't here me, or he wont answer my prayer's, or am i'm not righteous enough... I'll know i'm righteous because ill be following all 10 commandment's ill be sinning no longer, and i plan to do many kind deed's. After all it literally is my dream to help the poor and to pass God's word, I want to do it so much it bring's joy to my heart even thinking of it. And those of you they say were acceptable to God through faith like the bible say's, that is true and I believe that also. And i also believe that after I quit all sin's, and start doing more kind deed's, and reading the bible more, that ill be givin faith from God through the holy spirit. Like it is written (none shall brag about faith because "it is a gift from God")

I judged your indness by your few word's i apologize for that thank you for the help (the link) and if you read my content more clearly you would understand better (Just a tip) Referring to the one post of blood bieing tooken.) But like i said im leaving that post in the past

Really them video's were to be helpfull to other's, and you deleted them. At least tell me how to get to the video section to repost this in that section, because it was important that the videos were seen and heard, WITH the message i typed. Please and thank you, get back to me as soon as possible i would really appreciate it...

I was just looking for kind answer's saying thing's like pray to the lord he will help you with your memory problem's or bible verses that would be helpfull to (me having memory problem's) such as (lean not on your own understanding) etc.. or even if someone would say iv found that this help's with memory problem's and has worked for me in the past DEFINITELY didn't expect the answer's i got but im leaving this post in the past never to look at it again I may even delete the post if it's possible, I regret even posting it. look at my post saying for my last post, please and thank you it say's some word's id like for you and other's that answered this question to see. (:

Again as I have already said like three time's, BUT were to other people i'm not sure if I said it to you (I have tooken test's, and been evaluated from doctor's because of my clinical depression and answered completely correctly and honestly to all the question's, and they never said I had the mental illness that you describe. I have a counselor and a psychiatrist, and neither of them say I have schizophrenia disorder, or as you call it (paranoid disorder.) So i would appreciate it if you would stop saying I have, or you think I have that disorder. It's been medically proven more than once that I have no such disorder, and have never had symptom's of that disorder either, except getting scared at nighttime (not paranoid just the feeling of fear) for no reason aside from my depression getting bad at nighttime, or in the morning after nightmare's.

I got a piece of suboxone which I haven't had in 5 day's, and also got food. Which iv been low on again and ran out of my hemp protein (ground hemp seed into a powder) so i have felt very weak from lack of nutrition. And I just got money and was able to by a head of broccoli, peas in the pod's, Romain lettuce, vegan burger's, strawberries which is the only fruit i'll eat, aside from blended bananas in my hemp protein smoothie to take away the gridyness of the ground hemp seed. Also have enough money to buy another 3 pound bag of hemp protein, which contains 7 grams of fiber, omega 3, and omega 6, and 15 gram's of protein per 4 table spoon's, all thing's (Fiber, Omega 3, Omega 6, and the Protein all completely are naturally found in the hemp seed, with nothing added to it. Which will be arriving in about 6 day's. I haven't ordered it yet, I order off of amazon, but it only take's like 5 day's to ship. $35 for a 3 pound bag, at about at minimum (85 serving's per 3 pound bag.) I say all this not for any specific reason, I just felt like posting something, and saying how thank full I am to have food, and that I found a suboxone, which I was craving/having bad withdrawl's from not having. And when I take the suboxone my memory get's better. Just wanted to add that. maybe it has something to do with dopamine (A brain chemical that causes pleasure, the feeling of accomplishment, and happiness and a few other thing's) Which drug's raise/release a lot of it when they are tooken, but then after running out the dopamine that was released in such an abundance from taking the drug, that it make's a person have low dopamine after the stoppage of the drug. (It turn's back to normal in time) And too much use over time can cause low dopamine for up to a half of a year sometime's more. So maybe that's my issue with my memory problem's not sure, but if it make's my memory (short term) AND (long term) better when I take it that would make sense, to me atleast.

Listen to this beat below for Love, and actual feel the beat it almost sound's like motley crew home sweet home (the piano does at least) But without the sinful rock added to it. Edited by Omegaman 3.0 - Video deleted as videos are only allow in the video section of the forums. For hope and too know and remember that the world is filled with beautiful thing's, listen to this beat below. Edited by Omegaman 3.0 - Video deleted as videos are only allow in the video section of the forums. And ALWAY'S remember God and Jesus love you with and everlasting love that no man women or child could ever give, and will never give up on you no matter what. Also no it's okay to cry, for one it's scientifically proven to relieve stress, and if your crying out of love for a lost family member or close friend or just crying out to God all three thing's are a good thing. The sadness may be hard to bare, but deep in the sadness of them thing's I mentioned above, there is deep and strong love. Remember that it's not a bad thing to cry out of love, but it's a sad thing to cry out of depression. I hope many people struggling see's this post, as I will post it again in a different post to make sure it's seen. I love you, my email is nevahdog@gmail.com, if your ever struggling, I myself have been through many struggle's, and am still struggling, but have learned a lot through all my struggle's, and am willing to help if your in need of prayer or just need someone to talk to, email me or contact me through this site. Me and many other are here for you, and God know's all your struggle's, sorrow and sadness. The most important thing i can tell you is to (NEVER GIVE UP.) Because God again as I said will NEVER give up on you. Sincerely: Andrew

I wrote something that happened to me year's ago, and got bad answer's, even hurfull answer's, and had to argue with one person even. And so I would just like to leave the post in the past, and continue my use of this site without that last post I posted affecting any of my other future posts. I'm sorry if I was a little upset or came off upset, I never like being upset with other's, especially not chirsitan's who love God. Sincerely: Andrew

(PLEASE READ EVERY PART OF THIS MESSAGE CLEARLY BECAUSE I AM TIRED OF REPLYING, AND EXPLAINING) Also i didn't even want to post this because of how traumatic this was for me so for people to reply with the thing's they have replied with, arguing with me about did this really happen this is legal that is legal NO! Iv had my blood tooken again over 25 time's , and never once did i have to fill out paper work, and I didn't nor did my mom sign any the day they took blood either, and couldn't of only a legal gaurdian can do that not just a parent if the person is 18 or above of age and I WAS. But whole point is for them to strap me down hand cuff me AFTER being strapped down with three strap's there was no reason to hand cuff me. Too add to that the hand cuff's were so tight that I still have scar's from where the hand cuff's were, deep scar's as a matter of a fact. Also to force me to get blood tooken when i said once again that i was doing willingly, they had no legal right to hold me down hand cuff me, strap me down and take my blood, even after taking the needle out and going down the hall way. Like i said in a different quote to another's post's I could have took the needle out or (asked her to take it out) like I did and then walked out of there freely so NO they had no legal right to do what they did. They called the cop's because, I was resisting being held down, but once again, they had no reason to hold me down, again i could have gotten my blood stopped being tooken, and walked out of there freely so... Again NO they had no legal right. And I don't remember thing's in the past month very clearly, BUT i will never ever ever forget that traumatic experience, and remember ever part of it. Even if the police officer didn't do the spinal tap i'm very sure that it take's a certain type of professional doctor needed to do one, and the only two people that were in the room during the spinal tap was the police officer and the nurse that took my blood, and that's my whole point. If your not understanding they DO have to get paper's signed to a spinal tap, you are correct, they do need a proffesional to do it, and they did not do either of these thing's and a parent (unless there there legal gaurdian)of a minor, which I wrote above (if the person is an adult), they cannot sign paper's for the person to do a spinal tap ,and i surely didn't sign anything. And i was 18 year's of age... Also THE cop chocked me on and off until i blackout out. Then id wake up he would till be choking me, I eventually started fearing death, as i could not breath! You think any of these thing's legal??? Then you don't know the law. And also the whole point of the post was to get kind helpfull answer's none of these are helpfull and YES are offensive.

Also they had no reason to give me a spinal tap or hold me down to get my blood or do any of them thing's for that matter i could of took the needle out and walked out of that hospital freely because once again i was there willingly for an X-RAY and they asked me if i would be willing to get my blood tooken because i haven't has it done for some time so to strap me down give me a spinal tap hand cuff me choke me etc... they had no legal right to do any of these things period end of story.

I said i went to a back doctor a few year's later and it was documented that they did a spinal tap so im positive its in medical record's and they had no reason to do any of these thing's.

Other's said thing's about mental illness I didn't say you specifically and obviously you don't read what i write because I ALSO NEVER SAID THAT THE ELASTIC BAND IS WHAT WAS WRONG I SAID CLEARLY IF YOU READ CORRECTLY IF YOUR GOING TO HAVE A TONE is that she squeezed my are extremely hard WHILE THE ELASTIC BAND WAS ALREADY ON AND THE VEINS WERE POPPED OUT ALREADY SO THERE WAS NO NEED FOR HER TO SQUEEZE MY ARM UNTIL MY ARM WAS AS RED AS BLOOD ITSELF. CAUSING PAIN i already know thats how they took blood again if you read what i wrote you would see that i clearly said iv had my blood tooken over 25 time's and not once did they do what she did. Also i didn't say she did it to be mean to me and if someone says take the needle out stop taking my blood literally 3 time's its literally illegal for them to say "NO" as she did i was there and doing it willingly because they brought up that i should get my blood tooken so she had no right and they had no right to strap me down and choke me either not that i hold it against the officer when i was again willingly getting my blood tooken after going to the hospital for an X-RAY! So you need to read more I apologize for no grammar it's early i haven't slept i have beens ick all night didn't have it in me to fix every mistake in the writing.

Wow i am highly ffended mental illness is a real and scary thing and i understand that it's highly assumable to go straight to saying that i am mentally ill and the thing's i said didn't happen or didn't happen the way i said, but there cmpletely 100% real and true FACT. AND FOR MORE THAN ONE PERSON TO CALL ME MENTALLY ILLA FTER I THOUGHT THE PEOPLE ON THIS SITE WERE GOOD KIND CHRISTIAN'S WHO WANT TO HELP WOW I WILL NOT BE USING THIS SITE ANYMORE. you have not only hurt my feeling's but made me lose faith and i meen that with no offense intended but it's the truth wow im hurt.

I have been tested for every mental illness 2 time's and answered completely truthfully both time's, the only thing they found was that I had was clinical depression and anxiety with chronic panic attack's... I am not and have never been mentally ill this story is fully true i took the needle out because i politely asked the women too stop taking my blood if i may add( I was there for an X-RAY and they said if you haven't gotten your blood taken in a while it wouldn't hurt to get your blood takin, (so I was doing it willingly!) And she illegally refused to stop holding tight to my arm and refused to stop taking my blood. It was becoming painfull. Iv gotten my blood tooken over 25 time's literally, and it's never done the way she did it, then they tried holding me down to take my blood after i took the needle out, so i pushed them off of me and took off down the hall way that's why i was scared. I am not mentally ill, and had every reason to do what i did.

I don't meen no offense, but you must have read my post wrong. I don't and have never had hullicinations and I blacked out because the officer was choking me... The moral of the letter was that I am having memory problem's and wont go to the hospital because of what i wrote in the post.

My mother who is not mentally ill and has no mental illness except for minor depression AND my aunt who also has no mental illness besides minor depression, both were there, and witnessed it all. They told the nurse you don't have to squeeze his arm so tightly, then when they were choking me my mom said WHY are you doing that he's already sedated!!! as she walked in the room and seen the police officer choking me (i could barely move) Then the officer told the nurses to tell her to leave the room. You can believe what you want, but this happened, and yes it's hard to believe you wouldn't believe me if i told you why it happened anyway's BUT, it happened that's a fact. It was even marked down when I saw a back doctor a couple year's later that i had a spinal tap and I clearly remember the officer being told from the nurse that took my blood how to do it. I'm sorry your having trouble believing this but again it happened. And like I said to another person I went there for an X-RAY and ended up getting my blood tooken WILLINGLY so they had no right to do any of the thing's they did. it was all documented except for the officer choking me, but like i said my mother seen with her own eyes that that happened and i remember clearly being choked and blacking out and not being able to breath while his thumb's were on the pulses of my neck.

Please if anybody can get back to me before 12 00 pm tonight. I would be greatful, for i would like to lay them at the alter tonight (it being father's day and all) Plus the church is only open until 12:00 on sunday's, and I don't want to go there with a bunch of people there.

I will be putting wild roses I found and laying them along with two poem's i wrote for God and an empty pack of cigarette's symbolizing that iv decided to quit all on the alter. But im worried to do that because what do the church people do with them thing's i only want God too know the poem's not anybody else. I know he already know's them but i feel laying them at the alter is something more. So my question is... What do the churches worker's preacher's priest's etc... do with thing's that are layed at the alter or is there a better way of giving these thing's to God even though there already his because he created everything, which i think someone said in my post's but anyway's help me out please and thank you.

I have memory problem's... And not just short term, like forgetting where I literally just set my cup down at, but also long term. I can barely remember what's happened this month and as soon as i start to remember it's like something make's me not remember. I know a lot of people who may read this would say go to the doctor's/hospital, and get checked out. BUT I will not do that, because of this (I was went to the hospital to get my blood tooken once, and the lady taking my blood AFTER tying the big ruber band was tied tightly around my bicep, and all my veins were surely popping out already, she held my arm so tight that it was as red as could be. And so I told her to stop it hurt's, and she said "no" And so I ripped out the needle, and took off down the hall way (I was scared). It then took 4 large male nurses and 2 women and 2 shot's of a sedating medicine to finally keep me down and carry me back to the hospital room where they then strapped me to the bed had police officers come, and hand cuffed both of my arm's to the bed rail's. The handcuffs were so tight i still till today ave deep scar's from them hand cuff's (happend 5 year's ago). And then the police officer chocked me for minute's at a time, holding his thumbs where my pulses were in my neck, even AFTER I was so sedated that I couldn't even move. My mom was a witness to this, when she saw what they were doing she said "why are you doing that, he's already sedated" And then they replied "take her out of here" Then they did a spinal tap (When they take spinal fluid out of the spine) I remember very clearly them rolling me over and doing it, and to add to that, it has to be professional, and a certain type of doctor, to do one of those, and the cop did it himself with a/the regular nurse that took my blood telling him what to do... why they took a spinal tap (unknown). (Could of been because hallucinogenic mushroom's can only be found in the spinal fluid) But even still I did nothing to show I was on hullucigenic drug's, aside from being scared, and resisting them holding me down, because of not just what the nurse was doing while taking my blood, but how she was acting (very odd) So after having an experience like that I refuse to go to the doctor's/hospital. I was yelling father please save me, while they were holding me down and each time I said it i got a abundance of strength and stood up pushing all 4 men and the 2 women off of me, and then they started covering my mouth as I went to call out for God to save me. I say this because i eventually bit the guy's finger, (not hard but gently) just to get him to stop covering my mouth, and that was the only violent thing I did, and it was because he would let me call out to God. While i was strapped own hand cuffed to the rail's sedated and being choked I at that moment literally feared death, as I could not breath and kept blacking out, and so i'm terrified of the hospital. And i yes i could have pressed charges, but I said to myself after I thought of Jesus (while on the cross) saying (Father forgive them for they not know of what they do) And then said to myself they did not know what they were doing an completely forgave all the officer's, the nurse's and held nothing against them, So... No i didn't press charge's. The moral of this message is that i'm having memory problem's, and it's literally making me forget what it feel's like to have faith!