Estera

Thanks NCAP, I appreciate that. Blessings

I appreciated the sentiment and what I thought was care. But I very clearly said thanks but no thanks by that post. Im sorry to have unwittingly made an issue by posting here. It was never my intention. I never expected to be judged harshly. It’s ok… it just shocked me that anyone would think I would be here scamming anyone. It’s so far off my radar that it never occurred to me that sharing would prompt that kind of assumption about me. anyway.. blessings and peace to all of you.

Yes, you are right sister, I’m sorry for generalizing like that. Yes, we should all be one body, and there are people from over there who leave everything behind to go and serve. I guess I was expressing how it feels and what I frequently hear. I long for us all to be united as one body. Sometimes the disconnects between us make that challenging to achieve. How can we become more united and more aware of the other parts of the body? I guess also, I was trying to express (badly) the idea that there’s a huge disconnect that seems to exist. We all need each other… wherever we are from or wherever we are living.

Yes this is an important point. And a comforting one, when in the midst of such things. The western church sees itself as blessed because it is not persecuted. But perhaps it also suggests that there is a problem… just as you said. If our King, the Son of the Most High, was persecuted and killed, why should we presume we won’t be? Is the western church really blessed, or is it a sign of something not being right? Matt 5:10-12 10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you.

We send newsletters privately to supporters, not on the internet. But that’s not why I’m here. I’m not here asking for anything for our organisation. I’m not advertising, or fundraising. Sometimes it’s ok to not give details. Matthew 6 Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 3But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. I came here primarily because I’m hurting because of what our family in Christ are enduring and personally need somewhere to share. Not to talk about my work or the organization. I don’t have anywhere I can just talk… or say “I could use a friend over here”. I’ve spent a long time trying to find anywhere that offers a free Christian counseling service online, so I can just have somewhere to offload a bit and feel supported. It doesn’t exist. (And no I’m not trying to get money for that, I don’t care about money. I have given up everything I had to walk this path. I don’t even live in a house, I live in a tent, and yes I am vulnerable so please forgive me if I don’t want to give info that has even a remote possibility of being connected to me or those I’m working with. I choose to have nothing to serve my King. He takes care of me. I have no need to go scamming anyone for money. I don’t want any money. I don’t want or need anything for myself except some kindness, a friendly ear sometimes and perhaps a bit of loving support. Even if someone offered me money I couldn’t take it. Who Me, you even suggested wanting to send money in your first post to me… if that’s what I was here for, don’t you think I’d have jumped on that?). So I thought maybe a Christian forum might be a place where I can find some friends. I guess I made a wrong assumption that a Christian forum would be a safe place without fear of being attacked. I guess I’ve learnt a painful lesson. The only true safe place to share my heart is with my King. I’m grateful to those of you who have defended me and been loving and welcoming to me in this thread. Thank you. I would like to stick around and keep trying but this experience in this thread has made me feel worse, not better… made me feel more alone than I did before.

Thanks sister, I think you are lovely and I can see there are some very kind people here, you are right. I don’t hold anything against anyone, and I don’t want to give up on this place. But I have too on my plate in real life to add dealing with online strife

I feel sad that it’s not ok to come and say “hey guys, I’m carrying a heavy load and could use some prayer/encouragement…” without giving info I’m not ok with sharing on an Internet forum. I had no intention of coming here to talk about the organization I’m with, or to ask for money. I was looking for some emotional and spiritual support, because I’m walking a hard path and sometimes it’s very lonely and very heavy. Our organisation is very small… we don’t have big teams to arrange security, so we have to be extra careful. I have good reasons to be careful, and honestly, it doesn’t matter if you believe me or not…. I’m just sad because I was excited find this forum after months of trying to find somewhere I might fit in. I was sharing because these issues are real and because I’m actually struggling a bit and was trying to find some friends who might just be willing to listen and pray. I don’t even have a bank account… so how exactly I’d be trying to get money, I really don’t know. But Jesus knows the truth and that’s all that matters. Thanks to those of you who haven’t assumed such things about me, it makes it hurt less.

Thanks We have a small handful of regular people who give a little each month. The rest of the needs are covered by our King. He is faithful. It’s a walk of faith.

Just a thought to throw in… I try to stick to the principle of “scripture interprets scripture”…. When we try to find the answers to biblical mysteries by looking or thinking outside of the scriptures, we need to be careful. It’s much safer to search the scriptures themselves for the answers, rather than coming up with theories based on external thoughts or ideas. A matter is established on two or more witnesses. if we search the scriptures for the specific number 666 outside of Revelation, we see it is used three times. Two of those times are in reference to the number of talents of gold given to Solomon each year. A talent is a measure, an amount… it has a number. Like… a kilogram is a weight of 1000 grams. A talent can be divided into shekels, or even half shekels. There is a connection between half shekels and men counted in a census. (Exodus 30:11-15) So perhaps we are being given some clues here? 666 is connected to gold (money? Jesus said you can’t serve God and money) and a measure of weight, which has a number of man connected to it through the census. I’m not claiming to have the answer, but I do think it’s important to use scripture to find the solutions to these things…. So I thought I’d share as something for you all to think and pray about. Blessings,

Absolutely. It is already getting worse. I don’t have any expectations except that our King will return soon …but it’s going to get bumpier than it already is, and that’s pretty tough. (Hence trying these forums as a place to reach out for some support for me personally…. If that’s ok? Emotionally it can get pretty painful.)

Yes, unfortunately I have seen this happen… but it’s not the case in this situation. My work isn’t street preaching or anything like that, it’s a work specifically to tend and care for the scattered and battered sheep who are hiding and trying to endure, largely alone. No parroting happening where I am nor converting. Jesus said go and make disciples…. Not go and make converts. There’s a big difference. in Afghanistan, those kinds of activities you mention would very quickly result in execution… these little ones are hanging on by a thread, clinging to Jesus with all they have, fleeing from place to place, being betrayed by their own friends and family over and over again. …but yes, I have also seen the…. Sorry to put it bluntly like this… the arrogance/insensitivity of some people’s methods of evangelism in inappropriate contexts. It doesn’t help the situation and puts others in danger in these parts of the world. Much wisdom is needed, and demonstration of the gospel rather than force feeding. IMHO. Hope this response won’t provoke anger, my heart is to speak truth in love, and as believers we are supposed to walk in love for one another…

Yes, it’s true… and actually I agree, persecution can appear on western doorsteps one day and these Christians a a good example to us of patient endurance and faithfulness under intense pressure.

Thanks dear sister. I appreciate that. I’m feeling a little uneasy about posting anything now tbh…

Respectfully, are you working on the front line involved in these dangerous circumstances? There are many organizations that do not publicize their work on the internet, because there are very real security issues. I know of situations where people have been put in danger by such publications. Our policy is not to publicize stuff on the internet like that. Brother will betray brother, even unto death. Sorry, but we know this only too well…

Thanks Who Me, I appreciate that. I’d rather not write it publicly though as we do have to be careful about security.

Absolutely spot on. And keeping God’s commandments makes us targets even from other believers too many times… it’s a hard and narrow walk, and certainly not one for gaining popularity! You are quite right that believers in the free world also have hardships to endure and overcome… but at least we aren’t threatened with death and torture on a continuous, daily basis. It’s on another level tbh. Though, of course it’s all relative and I’m not trying to minimize what others have had to endure. But I do sometimes think the Western church needs a bit of a wake-up call. Persecution, suffering and hardships are blessings in disguise if we allow Him to have His way. Some of the deepest works and the greatest times of Faith purification and strengthening comes during those times. And that sure is something to rejoice about! But we all need support in the depths of it. If one part of the body suffers, the whole body suffers with it.

Thanks so much Kwik, yeah it’s a heavy calling, but all for His glory. I’m just a bondservant. I agree, so many have no idea what our brothers and sisters are suffering. I hope this isn’t an offensive thing to say, but sometimes it feels like believers in the West think they are somehow more valuable than those being persecuted and killed in other parts of the world. Let me explain what I mean. Many times when I have shared with others what’s going on, they don’t want to hear it, or respond with platitudes or even hostility. I’ve heard too many people say things like “Jesus would never put me in a position where I’d get beaten… he isn’t a wife beater, He wouldn’t allow His bride to get beaten up… so I’m not worried about persecution coming to me. He will remove me before I have to suffer.” Honestly, that kind or response is so devastating. Because Jesus said if we follow Him we will be hated and persecuted… this is reality now for these believers… but somehow Western believers are exempt some how too special to suffer life threatening persecution? I realize I’m generalizing and also that of course many of us do suffer hardships in the West. But this level of persecution I think is hard for many of us to connect with. These guys have been betrayed by friends and family. Handed over to Taliban, beaten and tortured… fled from place to place, living every day in fear of being put to death. Watched friends being beheaded and tortured. One family has two teen daughters… if the family is found the parents will be killed, younger brother would be killed and the girls raped and forcibly married. All because they believe in Jesus. They can’t go outside, the walls have ears, raids frequently happen, which they live in dread of… they aren’t allowed to work, so they have no money for food, and there’s no way out. There are too many stories to tell you. Anyway I share these things because as you say it’s important for us to know about… and honestly, these guys are relying on prayer cover. He is their only protection …but they are also keenly aware that some will be required to lay down their lives. It’s so painful day by day living like this though. Thanks for your suggestion of the prayer requests place, that’s a great idea! sorry I wrote so much. I’ll also try to share some of my testimony… He is faithful, and my life can bear witness to that.

Thanks Sela yes you are right, they are not alone. What I mean is they really feel alone. It’s hard because we in the West truly have no comprehension of what they are enduring. They are relatively new believers, were abandoned by their western missionary pastors when the situation changed last year (understandably… but with a big impact on them).

Please forgive me if this is the wrong place to talk about it, but my heart is really in pieces. Our King has had me working with persecuted believers in the Islamic world for 6 years now… lately specifically with some scattered ones in Afghanistan. I know Jesus told us to expect persecution… and especially in these days leading up to His return. Last year, when the US left the country, there were some who managed to escape, but there are believers hiding all over the place, living under the shadow of death daily. I’m talking with them every day, but there is so little I can actually do to change the situation… and it’s a horrific situation. I think most of the Western world is oblivious… and that hurts too because these are our brothers and sisters… and they are so alone. im not sure even what I’m trying to say here, except perhaps to ask you to please pray? They are hanging on by a thread. It’s like they are standing on the edge of the Red Sea with no way to cross, and Pharaoh and his armies are closing in on them. I don’t know if this forum is a place to ask for support, but I could really do with some extra strength. We need a miracle.