Catsmeow

It's so cool and way high on the 'coolness chart.' I'm blown away for I see my purpose. I have a purpose in God's household and I see him working and I am honored for this privilege.

YES! YES! YES! This is what I mean! This is it! This is what's happening. I'm in a war; I cannot run from it....and I am protected while I am in the thick of it. I'm in battle but I am still standing strong. I am learning things now that God has kept from me...until such time as I was ready. I am grateful to him that I am allowed to partake in this war and do my fair share. I feel like David facing off with Goliath but God is directing the sling shot...and it's trajectory.

The armor of God. It's not something we can see with human eyes but I feel like I'm in Kevlar. Sometimes I feel bullet proof. It's the most amazing feeling to have since I have rarely felt that way. It's a strange sense of seeing the real horror of spiritual war but feeling personally protected. That's what I sense daily. I do feel safe and at peace but still understandably concerned and disturbed by the collateral damages being done to children.

Thank you my friend. I have few who do understand. You see you and I are both teachers. That was my profession. I have my Master Degree in Education and studied Special Ed in depth. I was often in charge of the emotionally disturbed children. I understand them as I study their interests. I used to teach in a Muslim country and I had to learn their language and customs/traditions in order to interface with them. It's part of a missionary's job to mesh with the people they minister to and to be culturally sensitive. Online the people share their music and poetry with me. I study it and begin to understand what drives them. The thing that surprises me that these kids know they're being controlled by demonic forces. That's what really surprised me. The are very self-aware. They do know the forces of good and of evil but they cannot seem to speak to adults because they are simply dismissed as going through a "phase" whereby the adults are ignorant of the indelible mark their culture of death leaves as adults allow them to flirt with or engage the demonic realm through the use of many kinds of media ( e.g. ouija boards and virtual reality gaming ) It's natural to see this disturbing pattern with grave concern - just as one would be disturbed to see bodies and body parts strewn about in a war zone. Same concept. It's disturbing but I stay the course and move on and listen constantly for the Lord's direction. I can barely breath apart from Him. I am praying with these children online. I can see God protecting me along this journey. I am a reluctant combat soldier but God is my C O. He's giving the orders and I simply respond. Sometimes I do recon and sometimes extraction. I am being primed to do extraction of specific targets ( God shows me who and how ) and I simply wait till He tells me what to do next. God is giving me along with the prayers of the saints who are building a fortress around my heart and guarding me and my household.

I do spend as much time in the Word of God. I suggest you mute/ignore me. I am receiving the prayers and comfort of my brethren during times when I am weak and God has answered and given me encouragement when I am. Please put me on ignore and don't answer my posts. They are intended to be answered by my friends here.

Don't read it then. I've come here for support from my friends. I've gotten it. Ignore/mute me and I'll do the same for you. Simple.

Lately I've become obsessed with Ephesian Chapter 6. I've been studying parts of armor from the medieval period...and also focused heavily on war itself. It's almost like it's a force with a mind of it's own. Sometimes it's wonderful and free and other times...I see this madness all around. I notice the way conservatives loose their footing and can't get grounded. They fly into rages with the liberals and many people forgetting what history has taught them. It's also disturbing that I see any number of trolls come onto a political forum I visit and outright deny that the holocaust even happened. It's almost like rabies or maybe Science Fiction Genres of killer zombies infecting each other. I'm cocooned in this silken vessel and I feel safe and protected from the havoc. I know somehow I'm safe and protected yet very much a part of the whole event. It's as if a dream I once had was now being acted out in reality. I'm marveling how God takes a damaged vessel and uses me in such unique way. I feel uneasy in some ways as I see the casualties of this war pour in - so many of them children. I've been given an important job in this war. It's like there's this cerebral template going on in the forum but then I get posts and emails and Instant Messaging or IM's coming in from some young people I don't even know or never met. . Some seem to be putting on one image in publc but another one privately. They seem very afraid to talk openly. I see two different sides - the public side and the very private one. I didn't understand this burden I had weighing on me until God showed me how I was a soldier called to serve him in this war... a common foot soldier but a soldier no less. I am beginning to see how all the pieces of my life are meshing together....all the experiences of a life time used to bring his ultimate glory and my own purpose. I feel Romans 8:28 becoming a reality now.. I am called for a specific purpose in this life and now beginning to understand it - it's coming together ... a cohesive collective puzzle beginning to come together.

One more comment to add: with God on my side who can stand against me? I am now feeling and living this new meaning of, "We are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus. That's it. Nothing more except to live another day to fight the good fight.

That's no joke. I'm glad too. I have a new purpose to keep living. I've got a 14 year old boy who keeps I M me. I don't know how he even found me but he went totally full load demoniac on the I M ( he types fast too ) and I was taken off guard when it happened. He said he was psycho and crazy and on and on....but to make a very long story grossly shortened - he came from such dysfunction it's a wonder he's even alive. I felt God tell me to take authority and don't be put off by the demonic side; it would try to get me to stand down. He showed me that demonic spirits bluff when they know their hand is weak ( kinda like having a poker face ) He showed me that they will try to convince you with lie upon lie upon lie and when you confront them, the first one who blinks loses that hand. So - I stood my ground. This demonic spirit huffed and puffed. He threatened. He seemed to get perverse delight at taunting this boy...but I stood my ground. I found that this armor I had was tougher than any Kevlar. This was a spiritual armor and God showed me it was the kind of armor we read about in Ephesians. That was yesterday. Today, he has the problem of course but he's starting to trust an adult a little more. It comforts me to feel like God is standing with me and giving me the peace and courage I need to face off with the enemy. I am not a specialist in this kind of thing but God is showing me that He is ( funny...right? Duh... ) all I need to do what he says and just relax. This spiritual war we're in isn't easy for anyone.. but when we leave the driving to the One who's in charge. He knows the enemy and his game. I realize this sounds outrageous but God rocks my world. I never really thought of God in that way but he's amazingly way up on the coolness charts ( yeah! )

*( Laughing ) Yeah...that's cool Thanks again. You made my day...

M'Lady: you've got some awesome taste in music. I LOVE THAT SONG! I used to play it over and over. Man, I get chills when I think about ( good chills ) Thanks for reminding me. I love that song...and Yeah, Love does conquer that great divide. Thank you ...you just gave me a strong word of encouragement. Thanks again!

I was on hospice twice and the doctors thought I was a goner....so hey....but then God ~ ( you know? right? ) God has his own plans and knows what he's got in mind for us....sometimes you just don't see the curve ball coming. I didn't think I was ever going to play a big role in God's plan but I'm shocked to see what he's doing. Anyway...how are you?

JTC: Have you ever watched a movie called, The Matrix? I have always been a neat freak and wanted everything to have it's place. I wanted everything in my world to fit in just the right place at the right angle; I even organize my junk drawer. I cannot organize the world around me as easily. It becomes very complicated and has many moving parts and random variables. It would simplify matters by saying: God is good and the devil is bad. Naturally we know that's true but the world we live in is comprised of a dynamic system with complicated logarithmic variables and system redundancies that create what looks like a giant chessboard. There are any number of outcomes possible with outcomes in this game. Darkness is increasing exponentially as well as the casualties. Damages done are amplified by technology ( e.g. software applications, the internet. ) Younger and younger children are the road kill or collateral damage of this war. Some of us have been prepared over time to accomplish certain purposes according to God's perfect plan. He has shown me that in a war we don't involve the civilians. They're the ones we're called to protect. That's our purpose as good soldiers. I now understand and have peace in my soul about this. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the blood, filth and degradation I see. Bloody wars wage all around us but those of us in the thick of battle often struggle to remember what it's like to be a civilian. God knows what we are seeing and hearing all around us and He gives us an added measure of grace to endure it. Sometimes I just need to vent. I realize the war is bloody and hard to stomach at times. It's not as simple when you're in the battle itself - it's hard to deal with at times. It's the state of war we're in and not everyone is called to fight it. During WWII even civilians helped by working in factories to help make uniforms for soldiers, metal and die casts for weapons, aircraft and ships. Mothers and fathers sent letters to soldiers as well as cookies and other treats. It's what they do. As for me, I just need folks back home to pray for some of the people I am lifting up. That's what you can do best to help me. If God lays it on your heart - rent the movie, "Thin Red Line" and if you do watch that movie you'll know and understand which character I relate to. Private Witt is my hero and inspiration. He's a godly Christian who has more peace than all the soldiers in a single platoon. I now know why that was my favorite movie of all time: it was made for people just like me. Sign me, Just Another Soldier

I am hoping that someone will encourage me because I'm overwhelmed by what I see and hear. The media itself is shocking - even to me. Me! Of all people - even I am shocked...because I see the darkness. Here I listen to the message of darkness from mainline rock/metal artists and I began to carefully disseminate the lyrics of the music and what message they're giving. Here's a sampling: Bring Me the Horizon ( Can You Feel My Heart? ) Can you hear the silence? Can you see the dark? Can you fix the broken? Can you feel, can you feel my heart? Can you help the hopeless? Well, I'm begging on my knees Can you save my bastard soul? Will you ache for me? I'm sorry brother So sorry lover Forgive me father I love you mother Smashing Pumpkins ( Bullet With Buffalo Wings/aka Rat in a Cage ) Tell me I'm the only one Tell me there's no other one Jesus was the only son for you And I still believe that I cannot be saved Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage Bring Me the Horizon ( Crucify Me ) There is a Hell, believe me I've seen it There is a Heaven, let's keep it a secret No one needs to know There is a Hell, believe me I've seen it * ( Ability to see into the spirit realm albeit a nightmarish experience ) There is a Heaven, let's keep it a secret * ( it's almost a conviction of those who are 'saved' but content with their own salvation ) No one needs to know Band: Bring Me the Horizon ( Don't Go ) *NOTE: The guttural cries in this song are chilling; it appears to be a Near Death Experience. We all have our horrors and our demons to fight. But how can I win, when I'm paralyzed? They crawl up on my bed, wrap their fingers around my throat. ( physical manifestations ) Is this what I get for the choices that I've made? God forgive me, for all my sins. God forgive me, for everything. God forgive me, for all my sins. God forgive me, God forgive me. Don't go, I can't do this on my own. * ( crying out to God ) Don't go, I can't do this on my own. Save me from the ones that haunt me in the night. * ( demonic torment ) I can't live with myself, so stay with me tonight. Don't go. *NOTE: Metallica ( song: Sad But True ) Song depicts Satan laughing at the human misery as he possesses them to do his dirty work I'm your dream, make you real I'm your eyes when you must steal * ( sin in general/coveting ) I'm your pain when you can't feel Sad but true I'm your dream, mind astray I'm your eyes while you're away * ( past memories ) I'm your pain while you repay * ( consequences of actions ) You know it's sad but true Sad but true You (you) You're my mask You're my cover, my shelter You (you) You're my mask You're the one who's blamed * ( Ephesians 6: We wrestle not against flesh and blood but... ) Do (do) Do my work Do my dirty work, scapegoat Do (do) Do my deed For you're the one who's shamed I feel like a stranger in a strange land. I'm learning how things have grown from dark to darker. I wanted to share this with you. I need to keep my bearings and equilibrium as I explore this generation and their mindset. I can already tell many things place me in a different time zone so to speak ( more like the Twilight Zone. ) And I appreciate your feedback and interpretation of the lyrics here as you read them.

Thank you, Jean.

Thank you, Mike.

As some of you already know, there's an ongoing dialogue between myself and The Fred Phelps Foundation ( a vicious cult ) and I got a front row seat to this farce. They are falsely claiming to be a 10 year old girl by the name of Yulenka O'Toole. They have developed a false identity with this user-name and are infiltrating Google + communities with their cult-based doctrine. I learned this by looking at the source activity behind "Yulenka's" post stream. It was heavily contributed to by the Socialist Party and Fred Phelps Foundation ( not to mention their attorneys. ) Here's the thread's URL: https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/102667353649094907266/albums/6255342564122636033/6255342567050077474?cfem=1&pid=6255342567050077474&oid=102667353649094907266 I have removed the post since it's redundant. It's already included in the link above. It's there to look at if you so choose but it gives and idea of what I'm up against.

Thank you for your kind words ...they uplift me.

I've been a classical fan for many years. If you listen to the music it's very melancholy. It was written by Samuel Barber who apparently composed it as a piece of music inspired by the sadness and suffering of our Savior. You can tell if piece is Goth ( aka Death Metal ) and you can also tell if the mood of the music is uplifting. The counter piece written by Thomas Tallis during King Henry the 8th included the Fantasia on a Theme ( written by Thomas Tallis ) and Ralph Vaughn Williams, Composing and Conducting. It's the opposite of Adagio for Strings. It signifies the Resurrection of Christ and the awe of this piece is a stark contrast between the two. One shares in the emotions that are conjured p during the actual scourging and nailing to a cross. The other the Resurrection of Christ in all of it's splendor and majesty. It's an amazing song you should listen to. Just YouTube it for Thomas Tallis/Ralph Vaughn Williams. ( Ralph being properly pronounced, "R a f" ( the 'a' is a long a sound ) when properly spoken. I used to play the Classics radio all the time. I love classical music.

Thank you for reminding of our sensibilities. A word well spoken. Thanks.

It's depicting the polar opposites of the war taking place. God is above time and space but for those of us who are subject to it's limitations this simply indicates a snapshot of the war in the heavenlies but that's cool. This is art and art is subjective by it's nature. So, to each his own interpretation. I'm real fond of the gif myself.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but shall have eternal life.

Nice. I like that.

Fascinating.

LOL! That's too funny. I actually thought God inspired the emotion behind that "quote" as I had just finished watching and posting on the topic of hell and eternal damnation and began to reflect on all the people I didn't hug and tell how much I loved them so they could see the love of Jesus in me. It's now my goad in life not to waste another moment of time or another breath of life neglecting the more important matters. God bless you, dear brother.