Catsmeow

No problem for me...content can be reviewed. Sent by Ravens are totally christian and their music has been a huge tool in helping pull me "back to shore."

No problem for me...content can be reviewed. Sent by Ravens are totally christian and their music has been a huge tool in helping pull me "back to shore."

Thx, Joe...I got this song with the lyrics and the quality is better: https://youtu.be/2PPNycy-kKU

Sinnersaved: You're right. I was on a "politcally related" website for the purpose of being educated in matters of U.S. politics, (U.S. election time is coming soon.) It's inevitable we'll encounter all kinds of political positions. I was referring to some of the people I encounter on a political message board. I'm probably sinning by visiting a message board that talks about politics so I'll close my account.

Other than hardcore "troll" types on the internet, I'm received pretty well even by the liberals and atheists. If you engage them in "warfare" they "poof" into what I call, "instant troll." They weren't trolling but if you push their buttons they poof into one. If you treat them with dignity and respect, they'll "tolerate" you for being a "patriot" and "God person."

Angels: When I clicked on this link I got, "I Hear Her Breathe" (which is a really good song but it's not, "New Fire" *FYI Anyway I love this christian band. They keep it real and speak to the hearts of many people..A real Christian band.

This song was the tool that God/Jesus, Christ, Messiah - gave me to encourage me... This is one of the most edifying songs I've ever heard. Some may not like the heavy metal sound but the lyrics, (included in the video) are so awesome! It's what helped bring me home after I left with my "inheritance" and showed me His love once again.

Laughing (out loud). Seriously - you're the only one. Trust me, being honest about one's weakness and vulnerability isn't politically correct. I put my head in the hangman's noose when I do. Thanks, though...I appreciate it.

*(anonymous girl): I have been crying for hours......... I am hating myself more and more everyday!! I guess goodbye... its best for everyone if i just disappear.. Nobody would even notice if i left..... I am sorry for being such a waste of space!! Thiis is typical of the cry for help I see constantly. This girl is about to do herself in. I've thrown out a life preserver and asked her to respond. I'll stay up all night to talk with these little lambs. God knows I love 'em. It's so hard when this is "typical" of what I see all the time.

The greatest blessing for me is to find believers who allow me to vent without throwing stones. It's hard to talk about this but it also helps me (sometimes).

As for me, this is all volunteer. God meets my financial needs. The work I do is something I do on my own, (with His blessing).

Thallesa: You're reading my mind and that's exactly where I'm at. The King Himself was condemned for "eating with sinners" - and I know I may venture into those places that are unclean but oh, well...I don't give a fig. (I said, "Fig" not the other word. I'm just covering my bases here.)

Anonymous member of one of my forums: I am a Useless excuse of a human existence. A patetitc joke that the only people who I care about use to either entertain each other or or to prove to themself and/or her that I am such a POS they are justified in lying and sneaking around behind my back living two lives, when all I wanted was the one I had before someone else showed interest in my husband. Do Marrige Vows mean Nothing? *(on and on...it rambles on...). This is only one small example of the tragic misery so many are going through. I feel the pain and total despair these people are going through. They constantly debase themselves; hate themselves; IM me that they wanna die; tell me their a worthless piece of **** and well, you get the gist of it, (I hope.) I've been hand-holdin' people on these suicide forums and administering *CPR* (I call it, "Caring People Respond" - and the medics are few and far in between. Where are the believers? Where? It's an online market place and Satan isn't wasting time. He's on the front lines and he's busy. I'm working overtime to run interference. I'm jus' sayin'....

I don't. I do this for zero dollars. It's a total investment of myself.

I'm in a field that's anything but sterile. I'm in the thick of it...and when the battle heats up I'm looking for someone I can just vent to. I feel 'bout as alone as the children (and adults) I'm working with. In case nobody's noticed, "It's a war zone out there.." and I feel all alone sometimes. I have a boy (a teenager) who's mother's boyfriend molested him while she watched. For this boy, Satan is his "father figure" and he refers to himself as "Fallen Angel" (not really understanding the connotation). He's in serious pain. He writes poetry that glorifies his only understanding of a savior. In his sad and perverted world he's already started torturing animals and he's ashamed of this...but he's in so much pain he doesn't know how to ease his own pain. He wouldn't stand a chance here...when he talks to me it's *F* every other word. That's what he hears in his world. If I "chastised him" what would that accomplish? I'm stay clean and unblemished - and I miss every chance of showing unconditional love to someone who's never known it. I've made steady progress since I take him right where he's at. I don't condemn his poetry of darkness - I thank him for letting have the privilege to enter his sad and tragic world. I tell him how talented he is and he's opening up and trusting me, (something that doesn't come easy for him), like a flower - I'm seeing the nectar pour out. It gives me chills when I think about it. I realize how God really sees him. At first when I reached out to him he said he couldn't handle the light because it hurt his eyes and he was afraid. I didn't let that keep me away...I went in after him like the shepherd going after the one who was lost. I was doggedly persistent - but in a gentle way. That's what my Father taught me to do. Jesus is persistent but always a gentleman. I'm in a war zone and if I wanna stay "clean" I can't "enter the house of a sinner" - (like Jesus and the tax collecter, Matthew.) I'm in with the worst of the worst...and I don't always say, "Please" and "Thank you" - so if you ever thought little of me, you'll think even less of me now. I'm not necessarily "cleaned" up when I'm working in the trenches. It's hard work. I want souls. I leave the supply of whole blood to the Donor, who knows how to clean up the dead and dying in the trenches. I'll stay up all night and talk to someone in pain. When people use strong profanity I know it's a manifestation of the language of pain. I'm in the trenches, brothers and it gets real dirty...

When I lost my soul mate my world came crashing down. For personal reasons I lost my faith in the Church, other believers and the world. I became cynical. Just like Sting says in a song, "You could say I lost my faith in the holy church; you could say I lost my faith in politicians; they all sound like game show hosts to me.." I was incredulous that I had no support from the church. I looked for a safety net that wasn't there. I sank into the mire of despair and became dangerously suicidal. I was in pain I couldn't talk to anyone, especially the christian community. I became estranged and fearful. I didn't fit in anywhere. I was a lost person in a lost world (in spite of my salvation). Going Nuclear; Going Prodigal: So great was the pain, I turned to the only thing that I could relate to: war movies. The blood and carnage, along with the language was comforting to me. I bathed in the violence. I soaked into the madness of war. I felt the anger, rage and hostility. I didn't consciously realize I'd gone "nuclear" or "prodigal." I was p*****-off at world. I didn't care about anyone or anything. I missed my mate; I missed his presence; I missed sex and I was frustrated. There wasn't a single believer I could talk to - especially about that. (Comon' man, talking to believers about certain topics are taboo.) I began to delve deeper into darkness. When a person is in intense pain and there's no outlet, you find yourself thinking and talking like other hurting people. No protocols, no promises, no strings, no taboos - just free-falling into darkness. That's where I ended up: in darkness. It's an emotional purgatory. My only friend: When there was nobody else I could talk to I realized He was the only real friend I had. No matter how deep in **** I was in - there was nothing I could do to drive Him away. If God is anything, He's persistent. He will leave the 99 and go after the one who's wandered off. He never ran out but was there waiting for me. I went to the very depths of darkness in the theater of the mind. Whatever haunts you in secret places - I've probably been there. I was in hell -hell on earth. It's not a "nice" place to be. There's shame and humiliation. I understand how my Friend saw people in crisis. He wanted to use people like me who'd show patience and gentleness with the "outcasts" (societal lepers.) I've already seen the fruit of this special assignment working with the "hard cases." Jesus is a gentleman - He doesn't force Himself on people. He's a perfect Gentleman. Some people are cast off as too hard to win. I can promise you this: they're not. Is there anything too hard for God? God doesn't need me to sell Himself. He does all the heavy liftiing. I'm just a good soldier: I take orders and do what I'm told by my CO, (commanding officer). The Prodigal: The prodigal comes home when the Father summons him. Unlike a human father, God -the Father, is omniscient. He knows everything and He also knows when it's time to summon His son/daughter home. He knows when we need shore leave. He knows when we've been properly prepared to go on assignment. He also knows when it's time to say, "You can go this far no farther." That's divine providence. He'll let us sink but there's a limit to how far He'll let us fall. Only He knows these parameters. We may fall till there's nowhere left to look up up. That's what happened to me. If you're a prodigal and afraid people might see in you in filthy garments, just ask me. I'm an open book. If you're a prodigal, you're not alone. - I'm the one, the only, the alpha queen (and drama queen) of felines - Catsmeow Catsmeow80922@gmail.com

Willa, I don't "dabble in the occult" I work with a lot of children who don't understand the "dark side." This is the fallout from "Harry Potter" and "Twilight." These babes can't talk to "christians" but they can talk to people who "like God" as long as they know that person cares about them personally. They've been hardwired by public schools not to pray or talk about God so we have to tread lightly and show them God is "nice" and doesn't mean them "harm." They don't know Him so their afraid of Him. I learn abou the children's interests, (profiles) and how to talk to them. I weed out the trolls who feed on these precious ones, encouraging them to kill themselves (suicide). I know many of these trolls and I troll the trolls. It drives them crazy because I know how to play their little game. It's poetic justice. Regarding the children affected by media propaganda, it's important to know that the "Body" has hands, feet and private areas that require modesty and special handling. That's the area I work in. If one is easily offended, they won't work well in this very specialized area of ministry.

I'm not really working with Satanic cults, per se...I am working with children, (middle and high school) who have user-names like, "Pscyho killer" and "DeathMetal666" and that kinda thing. When I talk with them on IM they seems very ignorant of the meanings of these cursed names.

It's not easy to find people who are willing to go the distance. Too many believers are in their "comfort zone" and don't want to venture out of it. Hence, I feel alone. I am a rock; I am an island...and a rock feels no pain; and an island never cries. I wonder if other missionaries feel as I do -

I just feel very alone in this mission field. I'm in a sterile environment here but when I go back to the field, I know I'll get dirty. I go to where the poor bums and derelicts go; people without a home or family, (metaphor). I need my "own" support just to keep me afloat but I feel estranged even from my own. I am a rock; I am an island.; but a rock feels no pain and an island never cries. (Simon and Garfunkel, I Am A ROCK. I know how hard it must have been for Jesus to hangout with publicans, prostitutes and the street crowd. I can speak their language of pain and get in deep with them...but when I try to return home to my own I experience culture shock.

That's beautiful, Jeff. It's also comforting to me just to hear the affirmation. Right now I'm needy. I need to be comforted because I'm on the front lines and war is being waged. You can bet I'm feeling battered and bruised.

In the actual "mission field" I had to learn both the language and culture; it was full immersion. We ate cultural foods, spoke their language, and honored their traditions, (I was in a Muslim country). I'd been in the "field" of "battle" In the mission field (Muslim), whenever I came home from the "field" I felt estranged from my own home. I was so accustomerd to their ways, I didn't know how to act among my own. It's very MUCH like this in the online world. I've grown accustomed to a different culture. For instance, in believers' circles I might say, "I'm angry about ...." but in the online mission field I'd say, "I'm p**sed off" about ...". In a believers' circle I put on sterile gloves as if I were going into surgery. If I'm working in the "field" the gloves come off and I'm wearing street clothes. I doubt if this will even make sense. I'm beginning to wonder why I even posted this. I don't fit in with my own people I've been working in the field for awhile. You try working in this field and see what happens to you...you feel like David Wilkerson. You're bound to feel like you're working in a leper colony.

Has anyone reading this ever worked "undercover" in order to reach "the lepers" of our own time? I am referring to Satanic cults, atheists, self-mutilaors, porn addicts, those who are suicidal, meth addicts, (et al)?

We are assuming there's a China connection and there may be....but we are all too complacent to assume that our food chain hasn't been compromised by America's enemies. The CIA and FBI and other secret service agencies aren't blowing a loud horn and warning America our food chain is contaminated......it's the "We don't want to cause a panic.." scenario. BTW, I spend $300/mo and purchase home grown, pure organic, pure organic meat (no by products) foods, supplements and treats and even special litter for my four cats. I am shocked at the immediate change in their behavior. No more vomiting, loose bowel movements, et al. Total change! Now they're acting healthy and normal but it's costing me.

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburgh...s/s_503671.html Click on link. Article dated Apr 20th is disturbing concerning the possible contamination of human food products. Cats