captwmorgan

Im definately liking the sound, althought I don't know if the people in the cubicals around me do. In Christ, E.

Don't feel guilty about trying different churchs. I have gone to many and it took many to find the one I like. I never had the community that I have now at the other ones. Keep looking.

I have been recieving dreams and I am not sure whether or not there special revelation. I was wondering if anyone could help me determine if they are from God and if someone has the gift of interpretation.

I have tried and I can't. I have even prayed for my pain to go away, and it has not. I sometimes wonder if the Lord is purposely breaking me down. I had never had this much pain before. I don't know why. I am so scared. I want this to end.

I have loved before. I just don't understand why I suffer so much over someone I spent so little days with. I believe it is because I know the Lord sent her. I just don't understand why he removed her from my life. I pray to be healed and I will be fine for part of the day. Then, at night I am crying myself to sleep. I am not sure if I am being punished, broken to be built up, or learning a lesson. I have searched scripture, prayed, fasted, and asked everyone I know for an answer. I am falling apart.

Im sorry I forgot to add this. I have some had long-term relationships and I don't understand how I can suffer so much for spending so-little days with her compared to the rest. I am not sure why.

I had prayed for the last four years for love. It has always been a strong desire of my heart. The Lord had shown me a wonderful woman about two months ago. Everything I prayed for was given to me ten fold. The moment I saw here I knew my prayers were answered. We eventually started to date and then broke up. She said she was going to France in a couple of months. I entered the relationship knowing this, and I told her that I would wait for her. She insisted that I did not and said that she does not want to hurt me, nor does she want any attachments. I was crushed. We talked about it a week later and she said that she still had feelings for me, but did not want to hurt me. During this time I prayed, I fasted, and I sought console. I decided to get a going away present for her so I made her a cd of music I wrote about her. I ended up hiring a artist and finding people to sing. Eventually, her time was cut short and she was going to quit her job, where I would see her, and go to indiana to spend time with her family before she left. I rushed the cd and gave it to her. We talked some more and she said she had no feelings for me. So I told her I would try to see her sunday to say goodbye, and I did. She looked like she was going to cry. I broke down infront of the hostess that works with her. Since them I just have been a reck. I can count the amount of times on one hand that I did not cry at night over the last couple of weeks. I can't sleep, I can not concentrate on work or biblical studies. I had lost alot of faith and hope. I started to get some back. I am broken. I cry out to the Lord every night and beg him to have mercy on me. I ask him for understanding. I wanted so badly to know why this was happening. I wanted to know why he said no in all of my prayers. I have heard no response. She leaves from Indian to France on September 2nd. I can't stop crying. I wan't this pain to go away. It won't. I prayed for this desire to go away, and it has not. I know the Lord has heard my crys and has seen my tears. I just don't know why. I felt like I was being led to an answer, but I was not. In my head everyday I hear the verses "ask and you shall receive." I need help. I feel like I am dieing everyday. I wish sometimes that my eyes wouldn't open in the morning, or that I never had meet her at all. It is so hard for me to even lift my head up from my pillow in the morning, or evening to flip pages in my bible. My friends and pastors have prayed for me. But still no response. I just can cope with it anymore. Help me, please.