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Showing results for tags 'believe&trust'.
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Here is another problem i want to share. I am 30 and i have been raised in a very emotional family atmosphere, dad was continuously cheating on mom and fights etc. Mother used to tell me everything since i was like 9 or 10, she was crying in front of me, she never tried to hide her and dads problems. Even told me like "dear, every man is cheating, i want you to be wise so you need to be ready for it in the future because wiser wives forgiving their husbands..." So, later when i married my ex-husband i was always ready for his cheatings, i was jealousing, checking his phone with my shaking hands , i was hardly breathing and felt like im going to faint now... I was creating pictures in my mind and i tried my best start trusting but it never worked. I broke our relationship with such sick behavior about 5 years ago. May God bless him as he is about to marry again. The problem is: i am trying my best to destroy that curse over me and my family but it is too hard. My mom didnt find a man, it has been over 18 years since dad finally left her. But she is a very faithful woman and is still waiting which is funny. Seems like she is happy with such "victim" role and is still talking continuously and like proudly even about how hurt she is when people around cant hear it anymore... I dont want to be a victim too but i dont believe and trust a man, doesnt matter how hard i will pray for me and mom (she is russian orthodox believer). Me and her are being very honest to each other and we chat a lot, she gets hurt if i dont pick the phone sometimes. But she still is like happily sharing her pain with people around and then my whole day im being upset... As for me i am being much happier as a single woman so i started to believe it should be this way and its a Gods wish. Maybe He wants me to keep volunteering and thats my main role on this earth.