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God knows my past. He knows all of the things I did and why I did them. He knew my heart then and he knows my heart now. First Peter chapter four is one of my go to sources of encouragement. I particularly find strength and encouragement in the NLT translation of verse three. It speaks directly to me every time I read “You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy…” because I truly have had enough. I finally came to a place where I just couldn’t wear the “old person” any longer. God through his mercy answered me when I asked him to show me the way out. His way out for me was reading his word and praying about what I read. I didn’t know where to start to be honest but I knew that my dad is strong in the Lord and very humble. So I talked to him. He encouraged me to read Ephesians, the books of John, the gospel of John and Psalms so that is where I started and branched out from. Throughout all of that scripture reading I grew in my understanding of how important my heart is to God. For me I suddenly realized that my heart was never really quite right with God. I felt sad at first. Looking at how I’d missed it. But God was merciful and kind. Through my bible reading and prayers I received a foundation to stand on. I don’t say that what God lead me through is the absolute blue print for everyone else. God may have different scriptures for you or whomever. I will say this, have faith in God. It really starts there and it’s the best place to start. God helped me to develop a thirst for his word because I got on board with his custom made journey for me. Now I find so much comfort, encouragement and healing in the bible. I thank God for that, it is the first time in my life that the word of God is so alive to me and in me.