Search the Community

Hello all. I'm very desperately in need of some advice on something that I have difficulty telling anyone about. We're a devout Christian family and my family (husband, daughter and I) have my 68 year old dad living with us. My mum passed away 3 years ago and it was a very difficult situation and I thank God that Dad and I were there to give each other support at this time. My dad is a very well-respected member of our church which makes this situation very complicated and difficult. I have a sister who lives overseas with her family and we have discussed that at some point if dad ever needed to have a companion we wouldn't really mind as we know how difficult it might be dealing with the loneliness since mum passed away. However, in the last year or so I have become very suspicious of dad as he's been very protective of his mobile, often times making sure he deletes stuff if I have to do something like show him how to update software, etc. Anyway, I got a bit paranoid and saw texts that he's been sending a very close friend of mine who's married by the way (40 yrs old) texts saying things like "baby", "sweetie" "love you" and things like how nice she looked on a particular day, etc - you get the drift. However, I've never seen any texts that reciprocate the same feelings from this friend so not sure if she's just very careful or she too finds it awkward not knowing how to put him down easily as he uses the widower sympathetic card quite often. I really do not know what to make of this, and maybe I'm being paranoid and there's nothing to this, but this just seems so wrong and deceitful. Especially when he criticises my husband for every fault of his (that is another long story and my husband has made some huge mistakes but is on the right path now). My mum did tell me that he did womanise during his younger days when he was married, and I wonder if that story's playing with my head as well. The first thought that came to mind when I saw these texts 5 days ago was anger, resentment and just a sense of despair. How do you confront your dad with this kind of information? He lost mum, and if I were making this all up in my head then he'd be so distraught. So then, I started feeling suicidal as I felt there was no way out but then realised that that wasn't the solution. I needed to get this off my chest to lessen the burden and get some advice. I wanted to tell my sister but she stays so far away and I didn't want her to get emotional and angry and feeling unable to do anything from so far. And I can't tell my friends, or church or work as this is so embarrassing. So I've come here after a bit of searching on the net and stumbled upon this site. So yes, any advice would be really appreciated. All I can do is pray about this and turn to the Lord for help but I don't seem to get any answers as I'm just filled with anger and resentment. Thanks so much. Blessings.