Deepblue Posted November 18, 2010 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 34 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 365 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/27/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/03/1989 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I have been in a relationship for three months now with a young lady. I am 21 years old and she is 18 years old. I automatically assume that some of you may think that because of our age, the relationship cannot be serious. But I beg to differ. I am very serious about the relationship and want to make God the center of it, but it's very hard. I feel like we don't speak about the Lord enough. I also feel that she is very immature in her walk with the Lord and that I have a lot more I can share with her and teach her, but sometimes I feel as if she is disinterested in hearing it or she just listens to keep me satisfied. There are certain things about her that really annoy me such as her listening to and looking up to very worldly music icons and stars,among a few other annoyances, but we all have our faults. I just feel like the Lord has been pushed to the back seat in this relationship, and me, being the man, I feel responsible. I don't know how to start or where to go. She has always accepted my invitation to prayer and we have engaged in talk about the Lord and have done a few Bible Studies together as well. Something does not seem right to me right now, but do know that I am a worrier by nature (just look at my past threads) and I often think things are going sour when the other person seems to think they're going well. If God can't become the center of the relationship, I don't see how I can bare staying in it. Blah! And know that we have done nothing beyond hugging and holding hands. Sin between us is no issue. We are always in public and when we are at one another's house, our parents are always present. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yamsryummy Posted November 18, 2010 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 0 Topics Per Day: 0 Content Count: 8 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/01/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted November 18, 2010 This is only my thought but sounds as though you are more mature in the Lord than your girlfriend. To be frank with you it may be a consideration if you move on. Over time one of you will become very discontent in the relationship and God's design for couples in a serious relationship is unity. Just a thought. God bless and may the Lord lead you ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deepblue Posted November 18, 2010 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 34 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 365 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/27/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/03/1989 Author Share Posted November 18, 2010 This is only my thought but sounds as though you are more mature in the Lord than your girlfriend. To be frank with you it may be a consideration if you move on. Over time one of you will become very discontent in the relationship and God's design for couples in a serious relationship is unity. Just a thought. God bless and may the Lord lead you ! I understand that, but no two people are ever in the same place at the same time when it comes to their walk with God. Perhaps I just need to do more on my part. I believe that the male should be the spiritual leader in the relationship. When I was 18, I was very very immature in my walk, but I have learned soooo much since then, and I am completely different. I feel like I would be cheating her if I just ditched her without trying to be a better spiritual leader. I do think that if I gave it my all, and tried my hardest to make God the center, but she would not agree to it, then I can see myself moving on, definitely. But she is a Christian, one of the kindest people I have met, and actually more mature than most her age. She keeps to herself, has great parents, and never misses a Sunday in Church. It seems like all the pieces are here, but I still feel like something is off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isaiah 6:8 Posted November 18, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 426 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 3,633 Content Per Day: 0.58 Reputation: 222 Days Won: 13 Joined: 03/23/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/26/1978 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I would suggest perhaps taking a break in the relationship. To the tune of a Few months apart. no talking, no email, FB nothing. while you do that seek the Lord and talk to him, about things. It may give you some clarity you may not currently have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypeartree Posted November 18, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 540 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 32,974 Content Per Day: 5.05 Reputation: 23,772 Days Won: 235 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/23/1953 Share Posted November 18, 2010 You may think this is " the " relationship but it may not be so for her and this may be Gods way of telling you so ... OH and since I was married at 18 there is NO WAY I would tell you that you are too young BUT you yourself feel that " something " isnt right so listen to that voice and cool it down a but till either it does feel right or you are ready to move on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest man Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I have been in a relationship for three months now with a young lady. I am 21 years old and she is 18 years old. I automatically assume that some of you may think that because of our age, the relationship cannot be serious. But I beg to differ. I am very serious about the relationship and want to make God the center of it, but it's very hard. I feel like we don't speak about the Lord enough. I also feel that she is very immature in her walk with the Lord and that I have a lot more I can share with her and teach her, but sometimes I feel as if she is disinterested in hearing it or she just listens to keep me satisfied. There are certain things about her that really annoy me such as her listening to and looking up to very worldly music icons and stars,among a few other annoyances, but we all have our faults. I just feel like the Lord has been pushed to the back seat in this relationship, and me, being the man, I feel responsible. I don't know how to start or where to go. She has always accepted my invitation to prayer and we have engaged in talk about the Lord and have done a few Bible Studies together as well. Something does not seem right to me right now, but do know that I am a worrier by nature (just look at my past threads) and I often think things are going sour when the other person seems to think they're going well. If God can't become the center of the relationship, I don't see how I can bare staying in it. Blah! And know that we have done nothing beyond hugging and holding hands. Sin between us is no issue. We are always in public and when we are at one another's house, our parents are always present. I think you're expecting alot from a relationship that's only 90 days old. In those three months you haven't progressed beyond hugging and holding hands.....I think that says alot about God being the center of the relationship. I think you need to step back, slow down and take each day as it comes. 90 days is not alot of time to get to know someone......even if you spent every waking hour together, which I know you don't, there would still be things you didn't know about this girl. Go back and reread the things you've said about yourself and your girlfriend. You said some good things about her. Try not to overlook those things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest man Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I would suggest perhaps taking a break in the relationship. To the tune of a Few months apart. no talking, no email, FB nothing. while you do that seek the Lord and talk to him, about things. They've only been together for 3 months. How many months is "a few months"? It may give you some clarity you may not currently have. I think the only clarity would be that she done moved on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isaiah 6:8 Posted November 18, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 426 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 3,633 Content Per Day: 0.58 Reputation: 222 Days Won: 13 Joined: 03/23/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/26/1978 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I missed the three months part! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest man Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I missed the three months part! It was the very first sentence in the post!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deepblue Posted November 19, 2010 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 34 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 365 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/27/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/03/1989 Author Share Posted November 19, 2010 I think she's a great girl. Sometimes I overreact maybe. We usually go out together once a week, and speak to one another on the phone every other day. We are taking it slowly because we both agreed to a slow and steady relationship. We are spending some time together this Saturday. Maybe we can have some good discussion then. I am all the while praying for clarity and guidance in this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts