TimGertsch Posted May 31, 2012 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 40 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/29/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/09/1985 Author Share Posted May 31, 2012 It is often times in those private conversations they can be seen as gossip, I dont think the grandmother was gossiping but trying to find an avenue to bring her family back to God. I see you didn't stand there talking about how they get high all the time, nor did you write that you discussed their personal things or even push the personal nor any other aspect of this couple. You took what the grandmother said and gave her indications that you had already talked to them about faith and they were not interested. Lashon harah, or evil speech spoken of in scriptures is slanderous gossip, talking about people private and even spiritual lives to others for no better reason that just to talk about others, of course there are varying degrees of it also. I dont think you were gossiping, althought in some respects by telling everyone how they conduct their private lifes here that might be speaking on iffy ground. Honestly I would say something to the gal it seems obvious that her grandmother said something to her and before it gets out of hand I would simply say, 'Your grandma came and talked to me at church seeing if I might be able to help you come back to church' and then say that you told her that you have been speaking all along to them both but didnt feel right asking because grandma wanted you too, or something like that. Letting things fester can lead to some serious blowups and since you work with that gal that might be bad in the job arena. Just my nickels worth. shalom, Mizz The OP said he told the grandmother about the marijuana use. Well, her husband isn't really the spiritual type. His spiritual depth is entirely based on the size of the bowl he's getting ready to smoke. Being high most of their days, they are given the illusion of being "higher thinkers" and have come to the conclusion that they are "smarter than God". He knows better than anybody is his basic philosophy. Well, her grandmother kinda of eluded to the fact that she wanted me to try and convince her and her husband to come to church, to which I replied with my previous statement. Not in a judgemental way, but simply a matter of fact way, According to the OP the grandmother only expressed a wish for the couple to come to church. The grandmother was not the gossip here. She brought up a number of points about their lifestyle, as she's aware of everything I had spoken of to her in regards to that, but the main idea was to have me get them to come to church. I apologize for leaving out the depth and contents of the discussion, but it was a rather lengthy conversation. I think the point I was trying to make was that I just dont see how this is gossiping nor slandering this couple, just in what was written I saw a grandmother trying to find avenues to bring her grandchild back into the fold. Sometimes in our thinking we sometimes say too much to make a point or bring home the problem. If thats the case then we are all completely guilty for talking about our kids, parents, friends, etc, to our friends, pastors etc when we are looking for advice or ways to help others. And really I think that is all the grandmother was trying to do is find other ways to talk the grandkid into coming back to church. Totally, I think she had honorable intentions, and I THOUGHT I did too, but KatyAnn has cured me of that illusion and made it clear that I was the problem in the situation. In time I'm sure God will let me know how to rectify the situation and show me how to better handle these kinds of problems. let's pray I'm not too thick to catch on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimGertsch Posted May 31, 2012 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 40 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/29/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/09/1985 Author Share Posted May 31, 2012 You asked for advise and OPINIONs. You got them. If you do not want opinions and advise, you should not ask for them. My advise and opinion in a nutshell....mind your own business or go to the one you are concerned about face to face. I asked for opinions about the situation, not 2 and a half pages worth of you telling me how sinful and stupid I was, and that's what your posts are sounding like. I was hoping for a little more constructive advice, and from the get-go all you said was what I did wrong, how I was wrong to do it, etc. I get it... reminding me of how stupid I am doesn't put me any closer to resolution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizzdy Posted May 31, 2012 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 173 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 3,911 Content Per Day: 0.66 Reputation: 212 Days Won: 10 Joined: 03/21/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted May 31, 2012 It is often times in those private conversations they can be seen as gossip, I dont think the grandmother was gossiping but trying to find an avenue to bring her family back to God. I see you didn't stand there talking about how they get high all the time, nor did you write that you discussed their personal things or even push the personal nor any other aspect of this couple. You took what the grandmother said and gave her indications that you had already talked to them about faith and they were not interested. Lashon harah, or evil speech spoken of in scriptures is slanderous gossip, talking about people private and even spiritual lives to others for no better reason that just to talk about others, of course there are varying degrees of it also. I dont think you were gossiping, althought in some respects by telling everyone how they conduct their private lifes here that might be speaking on iffy ground. Honestly I would say something to the gal it seems obvious that her grandmother said something to her and before it gets out of hand I would simply say, 'Your grandma came and talked to me at church seeing if I might be able to help you come back to church' and then say that you told her that you have been speaking all along to them both but didnt feel right asking because grandma wanted you too, or something like that. Letting things fester can lead to some serious blowups and since you work with that gal that might be bad in the job arena. Just my nickels worth. shalom, Mizz The OP said he told the grandmother about the marijuana use. Well, her husband isn't really the spiritual type. His spiritual depth is entirely based on the size of the bowl he's getting ready to smoke. Being high most of their days, they are given the illusion of being "higher thinkers" and have come to the conclusion that they are "smarter than God". He knows better than anybody is his basic philosophy. Well, her grandmother kinda of eluded to the fact that she wanted me to try and convince her and her husband to come to church, to which I replied with my previous statement. Not in a judgemental way, but simply a matter of fact way, According to the OP the grandmother only expressed a wish for the couple to come to church. The grandmother was not the gossip here. She brought up a number of points about their lifestyle, as she's aware of everything I had spoken of to her in regards to that, but the main idea was to have me get them to come to church. I apologize for leaving out the depth and contents of the discussion, but it was a rather lengthy conversation. I think the point I was trying to make was that I just dont see how this is gossiping nor slandering this couple, just in what was written I saw a grandmother trying to find avenues to bring her grandchild back into the fold. Sometimes in our thinking we sometimes say too much to make a point or bring home the problem. If thats the case then we are all completely guilty for talking about our kids, parents, friends, etc, to our friends, pastors etc when we are looking for advice or ways to help others. And really I think that is all the grandmother was trying to do is find other ways to talk the grandkid into coming back to church. I never stated nor impied the grandmother gossiped. I wasnt replying to you Katy Ann sorry your post got included. Katy, you gave your opinion and it wasnt taken with the grain you wanted it to be taken and really there is no need to be so upset with anyone. shalom, Mizz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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