Supporting parents? What's the right thing?

[RobertC.]

Hi  and good morning!  This may be a strange and perhaps a bit personal of a post, but I'm really needing some insight on this.  

 

Just recently(nearly 2 months ago), my mom and I moved to Arizona, which they had bought with my dad's retirement.  My dad has been a truck driver since the mid 70's, and he and my mother have been together nearly 42 years.  I dont like to particularly name people's faults or flaws for the sake of doing it, but in this case I feel its necessary to get the point across.  My parents relationship and marriage has been extremely rough at best, having to deal with the fact that hes somewhat of a narcissist and has always put her on the back burner or disrespected her in numerous ways.  On top of this, he has always been the employed one while my mom stopped working when they were married To get to my point, my dad, even though he is hard worker, as a habit of when things would happen that kept him from working,(truck mechanical issues, accidents, etc.)he wouldn't go back to work until they were nearly or completely penniless.  Before we moved here, he had a wreck with.his rig, and hadn't bothered to have the truck fixed or put much effort into having it repaired.  In the end, he decided he wouldn't fix it and isnt earning income, so hes been out of work since October of 2019.  The original plan was for myself to live in a trailer next to theirs, and they live by me, but he is still in Texas not working and they are nearly broke once again, and now they have three places to pay utilities and taxes in instead of just the one their living in.  They haven't been able to sell their old home in Texas because my dad has a credit card lien on it and my job here is barely making 400 a week which doesn't cover anything much.  My old job back in Texas pays only 250 dollars more but I still think it would be a better chance at sending money back, although it will be a three week wait for a paycheck once I start again but I can make overtime and get at least 1000 every two weeks with benefits and retirement.  My mom doesnt want me to leave since she's convinced it wont help and the extra money wont make a difference and she sees it as me deserting here when she has no income coming.  It doesn't help it either that I dont like it here as far as the economy and its.really just not the place for me.  I'm not trying to deny her cash help; I just feel I need to take a good job offer back a while I can and maybe send back more money.  She told me it would be heartless of me to leave her in state she's in financially.  In a pinch, I'm not sure what exactly I'm supposed to do right now.  Yes its true I'd like to go back also because I miss home and its very depressing here for me and my mother has done limitless acts for me so she isnt a cruel or selfish person. But i really dont know what to do  I'm nearly 40, and my parents are in their 60s and I feel absolutely stuck and trapped.  Would really like some sound advice assistance in this matter.

[Neighbor]

Hi, Be sacrificially generous to your parents when there is capacity to do so. From your description I'd conclude that you have no capacity to help make your parents situation better at this time. That makes it pretty simple, seek your own best situation as far as work pay and place to live is concerned.