How Do I Know!?

[MorpheusJS]

Advice! Oh, my gosh, do I need advice! I am normally able to handle confusion by myself whenever it arises, but I currently find myself completely befuddled. I've been a college student for one semester now. I had a boyfriend from highschool that I was still going out with when I first got to college. We (Derek and I) stayed together for a year and seven months. Yeah, long time. Did I love him? I know I did. But, I have a tendency to love everyone. I finally had to ask myself if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I had to say no to that one, simply b/c he didn't have an ambition for life. He was just kind of floating along asking what I wanted to do and doing it with me. Why couldn't he have a desire that was completely his own? It's like he went to church because I did, he went to Conway because I moved there to attend UCA (University of Central Arkansas). Anyway I broke up with him, which was awful for both of us. I convinced myself it was best because I would only get frustrated with him in the future, get mad, and he would in turn get mad at me. Anyway I remained single for about a month, then I started going out with one of my college friends, Daniel. Now Daniel is very motivated unlike Derek, but I just don't feel.... loved. It's like he says it, but like he just doesn't care about how he makes me feel. Do I feel like this simply because I miss Derek or is there really something to it? There were times when I wished I could just run back to Derek and beg for him to take me back, but that simply isn't my nature. I usually stick to my guns and do what I said I would do. Now, why I wonder if Daniel is true or not is because I've only been going out with Daniel for a little over a month now and he has managed to take something that Derek could not. My virginity. That was VERY precious to me. Anyone can tell you that I am a firm believer in sex AFTER marriage. why did I do that? WHY!?! But, it's like he doesn't really seem to care that he did that. He felt bad that I felt bad, but not really caring ya know? How should I approach this? I need help. please!

Simply2nice:

A year and 7 months is a very long time to be with someone. I think instead of dumping Derek you should have perhaps talked with him about how you were feeling. Obviously you loved him, and it is my belief that that is all you need have a working relationship. I think you should talk with him about getting back together, because you both shared something very special. Don't look at it like you are running back to him, look at it as if you are righting a wrong. I know personally that I would be very hurt if that happened to me, and I personally would take you back if you explained everything to me. It doesn't really sound like Daniel has very good motives with you. Any guy that takes a girls virginity that soon can only be seeking the physical side of the relationship, and that NOT the basis for a healthy relationship. Consider Derek, he sounds like a really great guy.

[paperflowers]

I agree with the previous comment.....a man that takes your virginity is not a man who will respect you in the long run. His actions of moving on proove that. Pray and listen for God's word in this...don't rush.....just listen...... If the first guy is the right one for you it will happen. And if he doesn't come back shall we say....don't give out to the next guy. Keep someone in your life that respects the fact that you are not in a relationship for the physical part of it.