LadyRaven Posted June 3, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,981 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1964 Share Posted June 3, 2006 I agree with all the wise advice given so far as to accountability, total ceasation...etc...There is alot available to people in the Christian world who want to get rid of porno addiction. But I want to add something I feel I need to say... While you are struggling with this, I do believe you need to not be married. My exhusband had a porno addiction and it wounded me deeply. Whenever I found out that he'd fallen again, he lashed out at me in defense and it made it worse. You love your girlfriend, you should not put her in the position to be hurt by your behaviour. While she is not married to you she has the ability and freedom in many different ways to have other options besides trying to make things work with you. However, once she is married, other things become an issue. Like children, finances, feelings of failure if the marriage doesn't work, that sort of thing. She is not as free to leave if she is hurt beyond her tolerance. I also believe that you should be honest with her. Most likely if you tell her that you love her and are trying to get a handle on this, that you have sought spiritual accountability and that sort of thing she will stay by your side and wait to marry you. However, if she doesn't, that is her right. She should have the right to decide to be with a person who has sins x y and z in his life, just as you have the right to decide if you should be with a girl who has sins a b and c in hers. If one of you is hiding a sin, the other is being cheated out of the freedom to make a wise choice. I respect you for coming into a public forum and sharing yourself like this. This is probably ne of those foothold times in your life where you start to make a turnabout because you took a chance. No it won't be easy, if fact it might get harder for a while, but I will be praying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Posted June 3, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 583 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/07/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/14/1962 Share Posted June 3, 2006 What an insight, beautifully stated LadyRaven -CC- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LadyC Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 i see you're getting married soon. congratulations. when is your wedding day? if you'll post it, i'll mark my calendar and as a wedding gift i'll send you a link to an interactive game designed to build intimacy in a marriage... written and developed by a Christian couple. it allows a couple to maintain romance while also allowing some fantasy and roleplay without the use of porn or inappropriate language... it's design is to keep the focus entirely on each other. it's highly customizable to a couples preferences, and the wife has more control over gameplay options than the husband does. by the time you get married, an add-on pack should have been released which is specifically for Christians, using Biblical principals and scriptures (a lot of Songs of Solomon), and encouraging a couple to include prayer as part of their intimacy. i recommend the game for all MARRIED couples, because i've discovered in my own marriage how effective it is in keeping the sparks flying while effectively lessening my husband's desire for pornography. Lady C, Is this a game that others can find online? As a Christian, I also find it hard to find things to provide that fun "spark" without bordering on inappropriate material. I would love to find something like that for my husband and myself. sending you a PM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IraBenYahweh Posted June 5, 2006 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 63 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 11 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/03/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/11/1975 Share Posted June 5, 2006 Please Jed can I help You I dont ahve all the answers but I can get you started with more then just prayer Please dont ruin your marriage with this I am on yahoo right now Bondservant_Yeshua Heck you can have my phone number if ya want it I have had so much battle here that I know I can help for the sake of your soon to be wife let me help) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JED Posted June 5, 2006 Group: Nonbeliever Followers: 0 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 46 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/02/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 5, 2006 Ok thanks for all your comments and advice. I know that all things are possible with God but I have to really try hard too. I know that I will overcome this and thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IraBenYahweh Posted June 5, 2006 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 63 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 11 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/03/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/11/1975 Share Posted June 5, 2006 What I am offering Jed is weapons to fight with. There are so many available And All I want to do is share them with you to give you the best chance. I got married to stop my porn addiction It did not work at all It completly failed to stop anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IraBenYahweh Posted June 5, 2006 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 63 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 11 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/03/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/11/1975 Share Posted June 5, 2006 Infact I read threw the advice given (no offence To anyone as it was good) it just was not enough complete to save a marriage before it starts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JED Posted June 5, 2006 Group: Nonbeliever Followers: 0 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 46 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/02/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 5, 2006 What I am offering Jed is weapons to fight with. There are so many available And All I want to do is share them with you to give you the best chance. I got married to stop my porn addiction It did not work at all It completly failed to stop anything What are the 'weapons'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JED Posted June 5, 2006 Group: Nonbeliever Followers: 0 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 46 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/02/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 5, 2006 (edited) oops didn't mean to post this Edited June 5, 2006 by JED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IraBenYahweh Posted June 5, 2006 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 63 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 11 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/03/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/11/1975 Share Posted June 5, 2006 There are sevral weapons that are available. One has been mentioned the others do not seem to be. Stout refusal does help. Also finding bible verses to suport your resistance to the problem. Here is a personalized Bible verse (not exact text) God wants (me) to be Holy (I) will stay clear of all sexual sin and not in lustful passions like the pagons do.One of the other things that is important is to find something to fill your mind you see this battle you are fighting is for your mind. So the best place to get this stopped is in whare it starts in your mind (painstakingly refocus your thoughts Prasing Jesus out loud can be very efective.) this is just a start. I have so much more I would like to share. if you are anyone else wants to email me to find out more my email is IraBenYahweh@gmail.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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