Guest CandiKane Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Hello there! I'n new to this place. I have been looking for a place to gain some christian advice/ prayer over this situation that has upset me for far too long. I have or had rather a friend of mine who all of sudden one day cut off contact with me and said he didn't want to be my friend anymore. They were somewhat abusive (always blamming me for what t hey chose to do, how they acted and justified their anger./ words for something I did. They even got into ti with a friend of mine and blammed me for that when I tried my best (in fact entirely) to stay out of it. They used the abuse I experienced as a kid, against me ( later on said they were sorry, but only after i asked them if they ever planned of apologizing), and would pick out every flaw and mistake they believed me to have, but never once looked at themself or apologized. Even after I expressed extreame hurt over what t hey did, they just mocked how i felt. And wasn't interested in working things out. The reason why I didn't inquire as to why they left me, was because last time it was something I "did wrong" and I wasn't really wanting to be abused again by them, pointing out all my faults, so i let t hem go. Now, im horribly sad over this situation. What hurts me most is now I hear this same friend goes around giving advice to andcaring for other girls who seem to have the same ( or seemingly so) emotional issues he disparaged me for, claiming it was "annoying." He now has this new GF who he worships. It hurts to be treated this way and then have him turn around and be nice to other people. I tried my best to work it out, was kind, compassionate to the best of my ability, I said i was sorry for things done wrong and he rejected it and spit all over me, wasn't appreciated. I have prayed for God to deal with it, but I'ts just so hard to, when everything in this guy's life is now going well, when he chose to do all this to me. Shouldn't it be the opposite? I know God says to bless our enemies, but I can't help but want grief and venegence to come up on this guy for what he did. Instead he is being blessed. I'm just really sad and angry right now, and having a hard time trusting God to turn the tables on this situation. Any helps/ advice, prayer whatever, would be appreciated. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest harmoniej Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Hello there! I'n new to this place. I have been looking for a place to gain some christian advice/ prayer over this situation that has upset me for far too long. I have or had rather a friend of mine who all of sudden one day cut off contact with me and said he didn't want to be my friend anymore. They were somewhat abusive (always blamming me for what t hey chose to do, how they acted and justified their anger./ words for something I did. They even got into ti with a friend of mine and blammed me for that when I tried my best (in fact entirely) to stay out of it. They used the abuse I experienced as a kid, against me ( later on said they were sorry, but only after i asked them if they ever planned of apologizing), and would pick out every flaw and mistake they believed me to have, but never once looked at themself or apologized. Even after I expressed extreame hurt over what t hey did, they just mocked how i felt. And wasn't interested in working things out. The reason why I didn't inquire as to why they left me, was because last time it was something I "did wrong" and I wasn't really wanting to be abused again by them, pointing out all my faults, so i let t hem go. Now, im horribly sad over this situation. What hurts me most is now I hear this same friend goes around giving advice to andcaring for other girls who seem to have the same ( or seemingly so) emotional issues he disparaged me for, claiming it was "annoying." He now has this new GF who he worships. It hurts to be treated this way and then have him turn around and be nice to other people. I tried my best to work it out, was kind, compassionate to the best of my ability, I said i was sorry for things done wrong and he rejected it and spit all over me, wasn't appreciated. I have prayed for God to deal with it, but I'ts just so hard to, when everything in this guy's life is now going well, when he chose to do all this to me. Shouldn't it be the opposite? I know God says to bless our enemies, but I can't help but want grief and venegence to come up on this guy for what he did. Instead he is being blessed. I'm just really sad and angry right now, and having a hard time trusting God to turn the tables on this situation. Any helps/ advice, prayer whatever, would be appreciated. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossj.anderson Posted June 22, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 0 Topics Per Day: 0 Content Count: 19 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/13/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/16/1941 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Hello there! I'n new to this place. I have been looking for a place to gain some christian advice/ prayer over this situation that has upset me for far too long. I have or had rather a friend of mine who all of sudden one day cut off contact with me and said he didn't want to be my friend anymore. They were somewhat abusive (always blamming me for what t hey chose to do, how they acted and justified their anger./ words for something I did. They even got into ti with a friend of mine and blammed me for that when I tried my best (in fact entirely) to stay out of it. They used the abuse I experienced as a kid, against me ( later on said they were sorry, but only after i asked them if they ever planned of apologizing), and would pick out every flaw and mistake they believed me to have, but never once looked at themself or apologized. Even after I expressed extreame hurt over what t hey did, they just mocked how i felt. And wasn't interested in working things out. The reason why I didn't inquire as to why they left me, was because last time it was something I "did wrong" and I wasn't really wanting to be abused again by them, pointing out all my faults, so i let t hem go. Now, im horribly sad over this situation. What hurts me most is now I hear this same friend goes around giving advice to andcaring for other girls who seem to have the same ( or seemingly so) emotional issues he disparaged me for, claiming it was "annoying." He now has this new GF who he worships. It hurts to be treated this way and then have him turn around and be nice to other people. I tried my best to work it out, was kind, compassionate to the best of my ability, I said i was sorry for things done wrong and he rejected it and spit all over me, wasn't appreciated. I have prayed for God to deal with it, but I'ts just so hard to, when everything in this guy's life is now going well, when he chose to do all this to me. Shouldn't it be the opposite? I know God says to bless our enemies, but I can't help but want grief and venegence to come up on this guy for what he did. Instead he is being blessed. I'm just really sad and angry right now, and having a hard time trusting God to turn the tables on this situation. Any helps/ advice, prayer whatever, would be appreciated. Thank you. :(Some times it's best to move on.Iguess that's easier said than done.God has something better for you. The main thing is that you hold no bitterness over the situtation. He may not being as blessed as it apperrs. I'm sure that He has a new set of friends for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jordand Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 (edited) well candikane....i would like to start off by saying that i dont know exactly how you can deal with this, for i am a man and i dont think relationally like you do. i think, for starters that you are working yourself into a pit that will prove bottomless if you continue to worry about what "he" is doing with "his" life. for one, i think you loved him a little bit, because he made you feel something special in yourself or for him. relationships are tough overall and there are many different ways to handle them whether for the good or bad. you could kill him, you could write him a letter, you could make a romour about him and make people judge him, you could bother him, you could attack him with a baseball bat, you could torture him, you could pray for him, you could go to him and kiss him and then punch him, you could also leave it be and move on, you could also tell him that you dont want to talk with him, you could also be good to yourself and dont think about it. i bet you have it in you, even though it is hard, to just drop it. that is what you need to do. it is the right thing to do, for you and for him and especially for the man that will be your man in the years to come. it is a process, so dont dispair. just keep picking yourself up off the curb and get a move on! go out and enjoy life. fill your life with something else, so you wont even be able to think about him or worry, "oh what is he up to." seriously, life is good, go live it up. make sure that you find out where god is in your life along the way. you are on a great path if you live it up and stay beside god. he is your father and your man right now. feel better and pick yourself up everytime you fail and do not think bad about this guy and about yourself. keep your head up, and you will do fine. "father, i pray today that you will help this girl. please guide her and let her know that she must be strong and she must learn to help herself and not rely too much on things to happen to her, but make sure that she is able to make those things happen. she must be a wonderful girl and i pray that she knows that she is great and that you watch over her right now. help her now lord, she is sad and lonely. fight with her against the devil and keep her strong and still standing. i also pray that she fears you, more than she fears others and what they think of her. guide her into obedience to you lord. allow her to be happy again and forgive her for hurting him in her mind. i have it in me that she will be doing fine and i am glad. i praise you lord for your power and your infinite wisdom. you know how to keep her strong and happy for you are with her, in times of bad and good. give her a chance to love, really love, to show her that life is great and not full of "being upset." i give my love to her from where i am to whereever she is so that you greatly achknowledge her with joy and peace. strengthen her heart and give her confidence. i love you god for doing this for me. thank you!! in jesus name, amen!" you are a great person on this earth and will be in heaven as well. just move on and keep your head up. you are in for good things and i am praying for you. stressing out over another person that was close to you is no way to carry on. it may seem hard to do, but you should drop it like a bomb and blow anything away that will drag you down. look forward not backwards. think like a business women and not like a fool. be strong and fill your self with good influences and joy. go horseback riding, or simpley go for a walk in the park daily. you can do it and i know you can. all you have to do now is prove it to yourself and know you can do it too. do not allow this to break you. it happens all over and if you dont help yourself you will loose and be broken. even more than you already are. may god be with you, for people let you down and someone like me can't. only god can be there for you. lets hope he sends you support. Love your brother in the lord. be good you... Edited June 23, 2006 by Jordand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkest_red Posted June 25, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 67 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 885 Content Per Day: 0.12 Reputation: 55 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/05/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/23/1986 Share Posted June 25, 2006 What surprises me most is that you still call him a friend. From what you've said, I don't think he can be much of a friend. I understand that this must be hard for you but it will get easier. Pray for him and for yourself. Fill your life with other friends and activities, don't dwell on this one guy who will make you miserable. If I'm unhappy, I find that firstly reading a Psalm or two (I normally scan them until I find one kinda relevant to how I'm feeling) and then phoning someone who cares about me and makes me happy and talking to them for a while really helps. Fill your life with God firstly and secondly with people who care about you. The only time you need to spend on this guy is when you're praying for him. Keep going, the path will get smoother as you go and soon you won't think about him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shepherdsgrace Posted June 25, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 14 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 880 Content Per Day: 0.13 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/28/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted June 25, 2006 Darkest Red! Really top notch advice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkest_red Posted June 26, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 67 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 885 Content Per Day: 0.12 Reputation: 55 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/05/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/23/1986 Share Posted June 26, 2006 Darkest Red! Really top notch advice! Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yah'sGirl Posted June 27, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 13 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/25/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted June 27, 2006 (edited) Hi Candikane, Yah (God-Psalms 68:4) has blessed you and saved you from a life time of pain. Though it may not seem so now; trust me he has. Yah did not like how he treated you and would not have been a good Father to allow him to continue to abuse his daughter. He is a good Father and has removed this menace from your life. Be glad my dear as Yah has shown forth his great love for you. When you read your own post again you will wonder what you saw in someone who repeatedly abuses you, refuses to take any responsibility for his own actions and behaviors and cuts off your head to make himself look taller. Now, do you really need that. When Yah frees you from trouble don't go seeking it out again. Things are not as they appear for him. Believe the word, that as a man soweth that shall he also reap, but Yah will not double team anybody so stop looking for his fall and look toward your bright future without him. Baruch HaShem Yah for his faithfulness to you. Shalom, Yah's Girl Edited June 27, 2006 by Yah'sGirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Destiny Denae Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Hey. I totally understand your situation. Im new to all this chat stuff but i totally understand. I think that if they were doing all this toward you then really they werent your friends they just needed someone to put all their problems on. You have to go to god and forgive them for everything and then forgive yourself. It will make you feel better in the long run. I promise!!! You never know till u try. Nice talking to u. let me know how it goes. and by the way my name is destiny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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