sport123 Posted October 18, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 30 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 51 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/28/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted October 18, 2006 I could use some encouragement. I have strong feelings for someone that seems to be out of my league. She is beautiful, tall, very succesful and has a great personality. Now me on the other hand, I'm not tall, nor feel good looking, and insecure about my physical body. She is someone I would love to be with, but feel so inadequate. Some men have it all, they are successul, very good looking and have all the features that would be physically pleasing for women in all areas. Now this wouldn't be such a big issue if so many women didn't want this. But they do. Would it be wrong to pray and expect to be blessed? Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFP Posted October 18, 2006 Group: Senior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 732 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 91 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/31/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/24/1969 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I could use some encouragement. I have strong feelings for someone that seems to be out of my league. She is beautiful, tall, very succesful and has a great personality. Now me on the other hand, I'm not tall, nor feel good looking, and insecure about my physical body. She is someone I would love to be with, but feel so inadequate. Some men have it all, they are successul, very good looking and have all the features that would be physically pleasing for women in all areas. Now this wouldn't be such a big issue if so many women didn't want this. But they do. Would it be wrong to pray and expect to be blessed? Thanks. Women don't always see men for what they look like, honestly. I fell in love with my husband because he became my best friend and then one day just kissed me. I was so happy he loved me! The kind of men I am attracted to are not perfect in their physical bodies, but they are quietly confidant in who they are. Be confidant in who God made you and she will be confidant in you. Not in a boast ful way , just quiet confidance. Be her friend for a while, you may find out that she is not really what you are looking for after all Apparently God gave me the ability to turn heads, but that does not mean that I want a partner that turnes heads as well:>) I married a man that takes care of me, loves me, reassures me, and would never hurt me. No matter how beautiful we are when we are out for the evening, we all look the same in the morning! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unafides Posted October 18, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/18/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/06/1984 Share Posted October 18, 2006 (edited) I know you asked for a woman's perspective and I am not. However, I am a guy and have gone through the same as you. I have recently made a vow to God that I would not engage in a romantic relationship with a woman, again, until He deems it time. Similarly, I use to go after attractive and successful women. One thing I was ignoring was whether she was a true Christian. Now all the women I have dated claimed to be a Christian, but later on in the relationship I found that they were not (i.e. did not believe Christ was the son of God, believed being Christian is being born into a Christian family). All in all, the relationships ended in much pain and were focused on self rather than God. One of my mentors told me about the "Three Ms.” I am not sure what is really called, but here is the gist. The three Ms are Master, Mission, and Mate. What I took from it was that first we have to learn that God is our Master. In doing so we learn that we are His servants and His command is our desire. Next is Mission, now I am not too clear what this was to mean, but to me it means that He has a mission for us in this life and we must acknowledge that Mission and follow it. Lastly, Mate is when we are able to find a mate. Now without learning that God is our Master we cannot determine our Mission. When we learn our Mission we will find our Mate. This is just something I am following and finding it quite beneficial. By learning that God is my Master, I have learned not to be self conscious thus it makes me more confident. I am confident because it is not for my own will that I exist, but the will of God. I have been able to be more open with others and more comfortable around women. This does have its temptations, as I have a stronger desire to date the women I have become friends with. I know this is not God's intention and I shall wait for Him. Gen 17:17 Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall [a child] be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear? I know this was long and I possibly digressed at points, sorry. The point I am trying to get across is that we need to keep our heart on the Lord and trust that He will guide us. If it is His will then it will be, but make sure it is His will. I will keep you in my prayers that He might guide you to the one He has set aside for you. Edited October 18, 2006 by unafides Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kabowd Posted October 18, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 112 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,489 Content Per Day: 0.48 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/28/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted October 18, 2006 As a female...and a brutally honest female..lol, I can tell you (although you won't like hearing it) that insecurity is not attractive. If you are not confident and secure within yourself, what makes you think anyone else would be attracted to you? Although it sounds cliche and even a bit Barneyish..lol, you really do need to come to the place where you love yourself and believe in yourself. You have to believe that you have something to offer the world, and to offer someone else in a relationship. You certainly do not want to embark on a serious relationship being insecure to begin with, because serious relationships can tend to bring these feelings to the surface anyway. I'd encourage you to take some time to discover yourself, your passions, your dreams, your goals, your likes, your dislikes, just who you are. While I think you should be balanced about it and avoid becoming self-absorbed or humanistic, I do think that with the issues you're dealing with it would be good to spend some time getting to know and like yourself. Sure, you should remain humble and realistic and recognize your flaws and faults (this is attractive to women too), at the same time you shouldn't be someone who is plagued by these things. I think once you begin to accept yourself and get comfortable in your own skin, you'll find that men and women both (in a non-romantic way) will be attracted to you. People are just naturally drawn to those who are confident and secure. I hope I didn't discourage you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkest_red Posted October 18, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 67 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 885 Content Per Day: 0.12 Reputation: 55 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/05/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/23/1986 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I could use some encouragement. I have strong feelings for someone that seems to be out of my league. She is beautiful, tall, very succesful and has a great personality. Now me on the other hand, I'm not tall, nor feel good looking, and insecure about my physical body. She is someone I would love to be with, but feel so inadequate. Some men have it all, they are successul, very good looking and have all the features that would be physically pleasing for women in all areas. Now this wouldn't be such a big issue if so many women didn't want this. But they do. Would it be wrong to pray and expect to be blessed? Thanks. So many men want women with perfect bodies too! I do not feel particularly good looking etc but my boyfriend always tells me I look beautiful etc. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, as the old saying goes. Remember however, a relationship can not be based on looks alone, it has to go much deeper. If a woman likes you, she will like you not purely based on your looks but the main attraction will be your personality. Concentrate on being the guy God wants you to be and trust in His timing rather than your own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NanaJudy Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 I could use some encouragement. I have strong feelings for someone that seems to be out of my league. She is beautiful, tall, very succesful and has a great personality. Now me on the other hand, I'm not tall, nor feel good looking, and insecure about my physical body. She is someone I would love to be with, but feel so inadequate. Some men have it all, they are successul, very good looking and have all the features that would be physically pleasing for women in all areas. Now this wouldn't be such a big issue if so many women didn't want this. But they do. Would it be wrong to pray and expect to be blessed? Thanks. Women don't always see men for what they look like, honestly. I fell in love with my husband because he became my best friend and then one day just kissed me. I was so happy he loved me! The kind of men I am attracted to are not perfect in their physical bodies, but they are quietly confidant in who they are. Be confidant in who God made you and she will be confidant in you. Not in a boast ful way , just quiet confidance. Be her friend for a while, you may find out that she is not really what you are looking for after all Apparently God gave me the ability to turn heads, but that does not mean that I want a partner that turnes heads as well:>) I married a man that takes care of me, loves me, reassures me, and would never hurt me. No matter how beautiful we are when we are out for the evening, we all look the same in the morning! The gentleman that posted to your question is quite on the mark "Biblically".. Bravo. That was very good. Thank you for giving that type of advise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRaven Posted October 19, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,981 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1964 Share Posted October 19, 2006 I could use some encouragement. I have strong feelings for someone that seems to be out of my league. She is beautiful, tall, very succesful and has a great personality. Now me on the other hand, I'm not tall, nor feel good looking, and insecure about my physical body. She is someone I would love to be with, but feel so inadequate. Some men have it all, they are successul, very good looking and have all the features that would be physically pleasing for women in all areas. Now this wouldn't be such a big issue if so many women didn't want this. But they do. Would it be wrong to pray and expect to be blessed? Thanks. If the woman is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside your outsides will mean nothing to her. If you wish to pray to be blessed with her company, go for it. Not all of us are so shallow as to be worried about what the outside is. Very little of what is outside is under the control of anyone. What is on the inside is what the person controls. Yeah we can adorn ourselves a certain way to project our personality out into the world. However, we will not be able to control whether we get zits, are short or tend to carry our weight in one area vs another. A man who is kind, keeps his word, works hard, knows more than his phone number and a few stupid lines and loves God first and foremost in his life is much more desirable to a godly woman that a man with a nice derriere...or a six pack...or whatever your ideal would be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjrose Posted October 19, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 48 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,580 Content Per Day: 0.23 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/16/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/13/1960 Share Posted October 19, 2006 I could use some encouragement. I have strong feelings for someone that seems to be out of my league. She is beautiful, tall, very succesful and has a great personality. Now me on the other hand, I'm not tall, nor feel good looking, and insecure about my physical body. She is someone I would love to be with, but feel so inadequate. Some men have it all, they are successul, very good looking and have all the features that would be physically pleasing for women in all areas. Now this wouldn't be such a big issue if so many women didn't want this. But they do. Would it be wrong to pray and expect to be blessed? Thanks. I have to say this without reading others replies so if I repeat, please forgive me. I do not in any way intend for this to sound vain but I learned at my 10 year reunion that most guys were intimidated by me so much so that they were afraid to ask me out. I wondered what was wrong with me. I was popular, nice, cheerleader, theater, marching band wearing one of those sparkly uniforms for flag twirling, had lots of friends. My point is that they felt they would be rejected. What is a risk worth if not taking one? What can you gain by not taking a risk and getting to know her. It's personality I was always attracted to more so than looks. You seem like a very sincere honest person. Who wouldn't love that?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyGunivere Posted October 20, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 19 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 454 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/30/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/19/1985 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Another thing are both of you godly? Do you believe in the same religon and denomination? These things are crucial for finding a perfect mate for you.... Looks do play a pivotal role don't be mistaken..... But make sure both of your beliefs and values and where you guys are looking toward the future are the same... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sport123 Posted October 22, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 30 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 51 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/28/2005 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 22, 2006 Thanks for the advice everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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