Active dislike and benign indifference

[rtwo]

God has been working on my heart recently, and I thought I'd share some of what he's been telling me...

For over a year now, I have harbored what I've been calling an "active dislike" for somebody I work with. As I was explaining this (along with how the Lord's been dealing with it), to my father-in-law (and pastor), I mentioned that this is strange, because with most people I either like them or I'm indifferent.

God spoke to me at that point in a similar way He's been working on me about this co-worker. As it turns out, and as I think God is using my co-worker to show me, though it isn't the same as "hatred", this attitude still isn't love, in the way Jesus meant it. It's easy enough to say I "love" this person, and even that I would die for him (after all, what are the chances that this statement will be tested?); but what about interacting with this guy in a way that makes evident the love of Christ?

For a year, I've been hoping that this "dislike" would turn at least into the indifference that I usually have for people that rub me the wrong way. But what God is telling me now (and I think all of us, through His word) is that this "benign indifference" isn't enough. It isn't love. Love is, and is evidenced by, action. Love means recognizing that this person (and all who don't know Christ) is on a path to Hell, and being willing to jump in front and warn him. It means, instead of looking for a way to just ignore him, to actively seek some kind of relationship with him in which he can see the Love of Christ reflected in me. It means being a friend - or at least trying to be a friend - and not giving up until he himself turns away for good.

If I can say I'm following the example of Christ (who died for the lost) Can't I at the least kill my worldly attitude and see people as God sees them? Can't I show them I love them by being a reflection of who Christ is? Can't I tell them about Him?

[buckthesystem]

Perhaps I have got what you're saying all wrong, and if I "am barking up the wrong tree", I apologise.

It would be nice to literally love everyone. That is the ideal, and I wonder why we actively dislike some people for seemingly no, or little, reason. Rarely I come across someone who just "rubs me up the wrong way", I just dislike them, maybe for a good reason, maybe for no reason at all. I dislike my mother-in-law because she is a horrible person and if this could be overcome and by some miracle she could be persuaded to "repent" and discontinue her habit of trying to ruin peoples' lives, I can see that I could actually make a friend of her. I can think of another woman I work with whom I used to dislike intensely (mainly because of her habit of using foul language as a "matter of course") but I actively sought out her friendship and now she is a good friend, and doesn't even use foul language (around me anyway, but as soon as I am "out of site"...).

However, I can think of another woman at my workplace that I really actively dislike a lot, in fact I can't stand even the sight of her. She now works on the day shift and I work night shift, so I don't ever see her any more. But even looking at her name on her "time card" when we are "clocking in" makes me shudder. I have no idea why. This just seems totally unreasonable and it reminds me of my dog who will bark and growl at one out of a hundred people, seemingly for no reason at all as soon as he sees them in the distance, and yet not at the other 99%.

Can anybody shed any light? Or opinions?

[Scarletprayers]

Oh this is interesting and I know what both of you mean. I have someone at work that...........I just can't make myself like, are there reasons.......yes, but there are other people that I at least don't dislike that have the same traits, why came I overcome the dislike for some and not others?

I try not to use the "first impression" thing for my feelings about somebody since 99.9% of the time, I'm wrong!

rtwo, I also feel like this is something God is trying to show me also!

[Guest]

War Within!

Pray without ceasing.

1 Thessalonians 5:17

{{{For over a year now, I have harbored what I've been calling an "active dislike" for somebody I work with.}}}

Me Too Randy, Me Too.

Until God Breaks My Heart.

He Always Does!

If I discover this attitude raising up within me, I tell myself, "---, -----" belongs to God, not to me.

I remind myself I have no right to these feelings.

I exist to serve God not me

Then I pray for them.

Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

Mark 8:34

I pray for them as I laid down to sleep.

I pray for them when I awake.

I pray for them when I first saw them.

I pray for them when I discovered angry or hateful thoughts within me toward them.

Sometimes God opens His Fountain deep within my heart and love pours out for them.

Sometimes I find out the person was going through some terrible thing in their lives and this knowledge melts my cold heart and shames me.

Sometimes I would realize this person's hateful attitude and actions are used by my Lord to draw me into His Arms of Love as I prayed. When I realized this is what was going on, not only would my attitude change to love but I found I had a hard time not laughing and hugging the person even while they are "sticking" it to me.

The most crushing times to my pride and the most joyful times to my heart were the times a person I started a relationship by active dislike became a dear Christian friend of mine.

The Lord sometimes even all owes me to become an active bridge to Him for my new "found" friend!

The power of prayer seems to work both ways.

Every time you find yourself with feelings of dislike for a co-worker, Randy, I truly believe you are being mustered in as A Warrior of The Kingdom.

And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Prayer and The Word I know will change a stony old heart into a heart after God's Heart.

Abiding in The Lord may even change one's face.

Not as much as He did to to the face of Brother Moses but change it never the less.

Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God. For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.

2 Corinthians 5:20-21

Brother Randy

Thank you for posting an open and needed thread.

You and The Lord, Brother....The gates of Hell will fall!

Hallelujah!

You Go Bro!

The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:

The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:

The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them.

Numbers 6:24-27

Love, Your Brother Joe

[Guest]

Perhaps I have got what you're saying all wrong, and if I "am barking up the wrong tree", I apologise.

However, I can think of another woman at my workplace that I really actively dislike a lot, in fact I can't stand even the sight of her. She now works on the day shift and I work night shift, so I don't ever see her any more. But even looking at her name on her "time card" when we are "clocking in" makes me shudder. I have no idea why. This just seems totally unreasonable and it reminds me of my dog who will bark and growl at one out of a hundred people, seemingly for no reason at all as soon as he sees them in the distance, and yet not at the other 99%.

Can anybody shed any light? Or opinions?

First, I have no idea why this happens.

In the military we used to call this your basic "personality conflict". I learned during my time in the service that there are people out there that just "rub us the wrong way." No one I ever talked to about it had any idea either. It's just something that can happen, especially in a military situation where you have people from all over forced to live in close quarters, etc. Something I did learn is that you can keep the conflict to a minimum, at least when this happens at work. We called it "keeping things professional" in the service. I had to work with several like this over the years, and about the best I could come up with was to keep focused on the job at hand and go on about what you're doing.

Sorry I don't have anything Biblical for you, this is just life experience talking.

[cjrose]

God has been working on my heart recently, and I thought I'd share some of what he's been telling me...

For over a year now, I have harbored what I've been calling an "active dislike" for somebody I work with. As I was explaining this (along with how the Lord's been dealing with it), to my father-in-law (and pastor), I mentioned that this is strange, because with most people I either like them or I'm indifferent.

God spoke to me at that point in a similar way He's been working on me about this co-worker. As it turns out, and as I think God is using my co-worker to show me, though it isn't the same as "hatred", this attitude still isn't love, in the way Jesus meant it. It's easy enough to say I "love" this person, and even that I would die for him (after all, what are the chances that this statement will be tested?); but what about interacting with this guy in a way that makes evident the love of Christ?

For a year, I've been hoping that this "dislike" would turn at least into the indifference that I usually have for people that rub me the wrong way. But what God is telling me now (and I think all of us, through His word) is that this "benign indifference" isn't enough. It isn't love. Love is, and is evidenced by, action. Love means recognizing that this person (and all who don't know Christ) is on a path to Hell, and being willing to jump in front and warn him. It means, instead of looking for a way to just ignore him, to actively seek some kind of relationship with him in which he can see the Love of Christ reflected in me. It means being a friend - or at least trying to be a friend - and not giving up until he himself turns away for good.

If I can say I'm following the example of Christ (who died for the lost) Can't I at the least kill my worldly attitude and see people as God sees them? Can't I show them I love them by being a reflection of who Christ is? Can't I tell them about Him?

Walk in forgiveness of this person and the Lord will show what love for our neighbors truly means. You can rid yourself of your worldly attitude by praying for this person and find that what what this person does may not be who he is. The Lord speaks to us through His Word. It is there you will find answers in listening to the Holy Spirit. And yes, tell them about Christ in the words of the Lord.