Prayer and Discouragment

[Guest sasabu]

Needing discrenment. Sixteen years ago I gave birth to my daughter. She was concieved under the worst of circumstances. I was lost and frightened. I sought an abortion. I never wanted an abortion but I felt I had no alternative. I went to the clinic. I prayed and prayed for weeks. I continued to pray while at the clinic. I was the last person taken on that day. As I lay there I continued to pray. I was given gas to help ease the pain of the procedure. Because I was the last person of the day, no one checked the contents of the gas and Praise God there was none left. The doctor had started to dialate my cervex. Finally, my prayers were answered. The Holy Spirit worked threw me. I took off the mask and stated that I did not want the abortion. The doctor stated he had disturbed the "fetus" and I would naturally abort witin a few hours. It was a Wednesday night. I went directly to my church, confessed my sin and asked for prayer. My daughter survived. A few months later the placenta tried to tear away from the uterine wall. Again, I called upon the elders of the church and they prayed and annointed me with oil. Against all odds my daughter again survived. She was born with a hole in her heart, unformed hips and hearing problems. She was prayed over and we had an immediate healing of her hips. I believed that God would grant her a complete healing. It took seven years but her heart was healed. It took four operations but she now has normal hearing. God not only healed her heart He went well beyond that and made her an exceptional athelete. However, with this gift has come much heartache and pain. Through her athletics she has a powerful testimony. And of course Satan wants to steal this. While she has enjoyed many, many triumphs she has also suffered terrible emotional pain through this process. It has been very difficult for both of us. God has given her a great talent - a purpose. And it is this very purpose that Satan seeks to destroy and the people he uses to help him destory her purpose. This is a difficult burden for a 16 year old to bear. She is currently in a situation where she is once again under attack this summer and she is hurting badly. She was the first picked for this team last August. The team practices all winter and then travels to tournaments all summer. We started Memorial weekend and it has all come apart. And because of this she is "shrinking" through discouragement. Again, I prayed and I believe God gave me the word to stay with this because this will be her best season yet! I received confirmation through someone else. I accepted this and thanked God for it. Unfortunately, God has chosen not to act immediately. This past weekend was a partial disaster for her. She had also prayed because I counseled her that nothing was too little or too big to ask from God. I also told her that if something was important to her it was important to God. She was so hopeful that God would answer her prayers this weekend. Now she is terribly discouraged. I have seached within and prayed continuously and yet, God is not telling me to give up. In fact, He has been lifting me up all day. The truth is I am frightened to go on believing. My daughter may be discouraged but as her parent spiritual head it is my responsibility to go forward and pray for her even when she can't. I still have doubts. Satan is whispering in my ear to STOP because God chose not to answer our prayers this weekend and He will not answer them next weekend or the weekend after that........... or ever. This fight has gone on for so many years that I am weary of it. I cannot stand to see my child hurt anymore. One part of me wants to take her away from this situation and just end the pain now. Yet, God calls and calls to me for faith and to believe He is who He says He is and that He will deliver His word to me mightly. Do I dare take the risk and believe this?