his

Yes, I have heard of divorce care. I planned on attending but I was hesitant and time restricted and didn't end up going. They aim toward reconciliation. They tell you step by step what is involved in divorce...what to do, and how to handle your emotions...right up to how to consider and know when you are actually ready for future relationships. They usually have a decent turn out around here. Divorce care has a good reputation where I come from. If you can, I would URGE you to attend. The one I knew of was done at a christian counseling center...that is where you may want to look. ......GOD BLESS......HIS

Sorry.

Hi Wisdom Seeker ~ I do not know of any advice I can give you. I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you. There is nothing too difficult for GOD and HE WILL deliever you from this someday. Read James 1:2(bottom of my post in green). Take joy...GOD will increase your faith through this. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you. I do know that this has got to be so pleasing to GOD that you are overcoming your own temptations for HIS glory. You are my brother in Christ and I am cheering for you...run the race..fight the good fight. Have you considered a personal Christian counselor? I would not suggest any counselor besides a Christian counselor. Continue to pray. GOD hears you...I do not know why he is making you wait, but just focus on the LORD through all of this...he will answer. No prayer is too big for GOD. Let the Lord be your strength. I pray and hope for you that one day you have the family that you speak of...a wife, and some children..with no desire or attraction to anyone other than your wife. I pray that when that happens, you will have a VERY GOD-centered family. Let the Lord be your strength, HIS(his is a her)

Hey...I am slightly embarassed that it didn't occur to me to write that...TSTH aka Suzanne is RIGHT!!!!!!!!! That is SO important. That would absolutely be such an awesome opportunity to witness! I am so full of joy right now just imagining the possibility. SO, I am absolutely in agreement with Suzanne...be true to your word and let that light shine!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Deidre~ I do not know much about breaking leases and credit, but I would suggest speaking to your landlord. I would think that ultimately it is up to him on weather he would be okay with you breaking the lease. Many people do not report to credit bureaus. He could be an okay guy and be fine with you leaving earlier than expected...expecially with and three month notice and the excuse of a new baby on the way. While not condoning lease/aggrement breaking...my former husband had around thirty thousand dollars in debt (mostly due to a home bought and disguarded) during his younger single days he lived in many apartment complexes and broke most leases..if not all. I will admit that having had the opportunity to see both of our credit reports, I did not see anything at all referring to the broken leases or the apartments in any way. I MUST say, you are very blessed to have such a responsible husband that cares about your credit...that is very important and the majority of younger people do NOT take care of their credit as they should. I pray for the best...please keep us posted...Rejoice in your many blessings!!! I hope I have been of SOME help if any... GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, HIS

Feeling joy that you made a wise decision for yourself and your child....GOD BLESS YOU!!! ~ HIS

Hello HIS Servant ~ Hearing that you took the BIG step of reaching out and calling someone has brought a smile to my face and joy to my heart. It is truely the deepest JOY when I am blessed enough to see the Lord working in such a mighty way. AIM for the LORD and examine you motives daily. Motives can change with time so you must work inward to love outward. You will remain in my prayers sister. (UNLess you are insanely broke..as I have been many times...counting coins) I suggest you pick someone from your church that isn't overly committed and invite someone to lunch. Pick an eat in restruant...but a cheaper one...that always works best..you know where there are some $5-$7meals... That is how I have gotton to know many people. Also, while I DO get a lunch date on the spur of the moment about 2/3rds of the time...one third (it is actually a lot one of three) of the time I cannot find anyone that doesn't already have plans. BUt I go to my Wednesday bible study and afterwards, I ask someone to lunch. I try to meet someone new much of the time. Occasionally, I will meet someone that will go to Mcdonalds...but I ususally go to the little greek restaurant/sandwhich shop in our area. Actually, this past Wednesday. I tried to ask someone to lunch and she had plans so I asked someone else but she had a prior commitment..SO, by the time I finished talking to her, everyone else had left...SO, I went to get a hot dog...shopped for stickers for my class, and had a good day anyway. When it comes to the pastor's wife... While I think it is wonderful to call her and be friends with her, I would just warn you to be extra understanding IF she cannot give you the time and attention that you are looking for in a friend. If she can...I am SO glad and will praise the Lord... In my experiences, the pastor's wife seems to be over committed often. Also, I had a pastor (not the pastor's wife) confide in me before that they are SO busy..busier than people think. They are usually at the church often.. they are responsible for the obvious things like services and bible studies, they ALSO do weddings, funerals, hospital visits, marriage counseling, but the biggest TIME consumer(while I was NOT given the impression that it was a burden) but the ENTIRE congregation tries to get to know them. THey know everyones pains and joys. THey try to pray for so many..but when they do not have a counseling degree and they have an entire congregation turning to them well, sometimes they feel like (maybe not they...he did) people expect counseling too and there isn't enough time to 'help' everybody and they feel saddened because they want to be there for EVERYONE but with an entire congregation...it is near impossible to talk with everybody regularly. It is really a sad situation. He seemed glad to counsel people in their spiritual lives and be there for many, but just sad that he couldn't be everyones personal friend and walk with them every step of the way. But there IS Jesus..who DOES walk with you EVERY step of the way!!! Many people want a tangible friend instead and it just gets difficult. (btw...the pastor was not from my church..I will strike up a conversation with anyone...especially if they are holding a bible or something. You should see me in the doctors office... The best part is that when you talk to someone about the bible and the GREATNESS OF GOD..well, other people are bound to listen and may become interested... (that was not at the doctors office though..I need to stay on track now...) ANyway, the pastors wife, I would assume has a similar role...primarialy by the women in the church. THey DO (from my experience) genuinely love the ladies, they just cannot always spread themselves thin enough for everyone. (remember, just telling you this to keep in the back of your mind in the event that she ever seems too busy for you...it WILL NOT BE YOU!!!!!!!!! Remember that ahead of time) GLADLY, it sounds like your pastor's wife is not overly committed. I pray that you both will be able to develop a strong friendship. Would you be interested in going to a Wednesday or so bible study? That has always been one of the greatest ways to meet people and grow in the Spirit together..fellowship.... While patience is one of the fruits of the spirit, I also am impatient in growing in my relationship with Christ. I was actually told by the lady that disciples me today, that I need to cut some things out. (I go to two three bible studies, choir, church, sunday school, and am being discipled...(I am not bragging..by all means, I could go to ten bible studies a day and that would give no one any indication of where my heart truely is....you would have to see the fruit and over the net, well, you cannot determine anything...so...no bragging. ) As a single working mom....well, all of my commitments have made me rather..um,...tired. She could tell that I was tired. I then asked her lets put everything on the table... SO we did. SO I cut somethin out...or get rest. Grow in my relationship with Christ, or get a little extra sleep...hummm, seems like a simple choice to me. I just got a smile and a look... Don't know what to make of it, but I do know that i am not cutting anything out. I will however think twice before adding anything else. My point is that even I am impatient.. I don't want to wait years...I want to grow..well, NOW!!! I would be missing out. I welcome misfortune!! I will not admit it when I am going through the peak of it, but before and after I am more thankful than ever... The hard times is what brought me to HIM...let him bring you too. When you have no where to flee, run under his wing (psalm 91) . The tough times to the most for growing spiritually. Stay in the word..that is how GOD speaks to you. Pray...that is how you speak to HIM..though you do say a lot in how you SHOW HIM your love for HIM. Let me know how things are. HIS

wondering....To me it sounds perfectly fine..I am a perfectionist but I lean toward the procrastination side due to lack of energy and time..but when I do start on something..well, I get it right..or at least try a little too hard. The BIG question is... do you feel like you must clean or do you sincerely enjoy cleaning. If someone told you that you couldn't clean for a week would you be okay with that or would you go crazy? I mean, you could put your clothes in the drawers and put your plate in the dish washer type clean, but nothing that isn't absolutely necessary. Seriously, I think that plays a big role... is your cleaning a necessity, or a hobby? I think that it would be helpful to integrate other things in your schedule...dont JUST clean for fun or to get your mind off of things... do other things too...art, poems, study the bible..anything.. no one should be hung up on ONE THing only... let me know how the counseling appt goes. I pray all will be well. Love HIS

Servant ~ Hello again, I think I have already found a buddy in you. Okay, you sound very insecure. I am too. Who wants to get hurt? NOT ME. Tell me, If my one year old son were walking and fell on a toy and scraped his knee should I throw away all of his toys? Should I keep him from walking? What if I only bought soft toys? Maybe it would be safer to look into bubble manufacturers and buy him one to live in.... (I am not being sarcastic..I just like illustrations) What you are doing is not much different. Yes, in this life...you are going to get hurt.... If I followed through with any of these 'solutions' he would be miserable and deprived. Most babies would prefer a scrape. Ask a preschooler (since a one year old cannot talk) at the time of a scrape...many WOULD say I don't want to ever play with a toy and get hurt like that again...but five minutes later when they are playing if you ask to take their toy away they will say no, it is okay..I wont get hurt...I am willing to take that risk again. While we ought to live cautiously, we must LIVE. I know you don't want to feel pain...but to not feel at all in the place of it.....well, that seems terrible to me. I mean I know you FEEL...but you are staying away from LIFE... I know you are afraid to be rejected...ignored...hurt... I hate it when I feel like that. ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. BUT..I also stick my neck out and end up feeling love, kindness, friendship...all of the wonderful things in life. This is a sinful and fallen world. ALSO, be very careful that when..not if...WHEN you do get back out there and it seems like someone is not loving you purely or couldn't care less...remember that....... first, people are often misread...I feel like a lot of people could care less and then later realize that what could they be doing differently...what am I doing that they are not...then everything comes into perspective... Somewhere in the WORD it says that when we see someone elses short comings we must remember that we have the same shortcomings. .............-..........Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I admit that sometimes within my heart I can be a rather judgemental and slightly prude person. But I remind myself that either I WAS there before or I am there in some way inside my heart... second, remember that we are sinful by nature and no matter how hard we try...myself included...probably more so because I know my own heart... PEOPLE tend to put themselves first. IT IS OUR NATURE...it is NOT acceptable...BUT it is a universal plague...everyone sins. We are a selfish people. When I have to get up because my baby wakes up at three am at the age on ONE well, I am not too happy about that seeing that I must go to work the next day. If it takes more than an hour to get him back to sleep I start to feel a little anxietious..and cranky. WHY do you think I get upset at three AM...because I am selfish. MY BABY doesn't feel well. (he gets gas sometimes) I rock him and when I put him down he cries first because he doesnt' feel well and second because he loves me so much I am a great source of comfort to him...YET, I ignor the immense love that could be felt because I need MY sleep so that I can feel the way that I want to. Yes...that is putting myself first. (and that is just a snipet of the extent of human selfishness...it is ugly.) SO, many people are busy doing things that is convienent for them. AND..while they are loving themselves, do you know what WE Christians are supposed to be doing?....We are supposed to be loving them too. We can only work within and that is how many around are touched by the spirit...by example. The more you genuinely love I have found, the more love you recieve. That is one of lifes biggest secrets. You said that you were afraid to get hurt..I know this may sound old to you, but there is NO FEAR IN THE LORD. What have you to lose. Trust in GOD... if you get hurt let the LORD strenghten you through it...DON"T FORGET TO READ JAMES 1:2...the bottom of my post!!! I live by it. Among many other things. Also, you said that you get the feeling that you had previously gotton the feeling that someone you confided in didn't want to hear about it. Many people don't feel comfortable with hearing someones 'story' when they don't know them well. THey don't know what to do at other times and don't know how to help and end up feeling akward thus, handeling it terribly. THe best way to handle a situation like this is to try to build relationships. The best way to talk to someone or better with someone, is to tell them a little about you and then they will tell you a little about them selves..and back and forth..that is how relationships grow. A little give and take. I would like someone that I spend time with and listen to to be interested in me too and listen to me too. Many people steer away from potential one sided relationships. I don't know if you like to read, but for you I highly reccommend the book SAFE PEOPLE...I think it would help you to create and maintain relationships with people and know how to decrease the chances of getting hurt. It really is an awesome book. I am still praying for you and desire the best for you sister in Christ. You FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT.,...keep your eyes ON GOD....Do not stay in the dark and sit in silence... You know what to do and just thinking about it is tough enough, but YOU CAN DO IT and you WILL be happier in the end. I just know so. I will keep you in my prayers friend. I love you with the BOND of Christ...you ARE my family and you WILL get through this. SUGGESTION....please consider reading a little of the WORD that GOD the Lord the one that made Heaven and Earth...sent for you..even if just a sentance...the bible says THE WORD WAS GOD...the spirit speaks to you through the word.... Also, try to pray.... Your FATHER, the LORD GOD is waiting to hear from you... NOW, if you are looking for someone who REALLY CARES...well..you know how you would really like a phone call from someone just to hear that they care...well...he has been ringing and is now sitting by waiting ..and he delights to hear from HIS children. GOD BLess you, HIS

Hey HIS Servant ~ I am a young Christian....I suppose In a way, I am a little over a year old. I do know that the feelings you are feeling are normal. People go through depression..more than you would realize. I don't understand why SO many people have the anxity/depression but 90% try to hide it. Any way, I will pray for you on that. Sometimes it comes from a source of stress and insecurity....and sometimes it is chemical..I do not know enough to say anything in certainty, but it is possible that it will oneday will go away. In the least it is highly likely that you will gain much more control over the situation. NOw, about wondering if people miss you. Why do you feel as though that is a bad thing. I would suppose that MOST people have a deep desire to be loved... we are created to love. I think a lot of people are so busy and don't think to call. Also, they would assume that you may be out of town or anything...there are a million possibilities. Admittingly, when there is someone at my church that is out for a peroid of time I plan on calling them within that first week. Somehow, my schedule and etc. seem to side track me the majority of the time preventing me from ever making it to calling my dear friends. After the second week I am sadly too embarassed to call. I am ashamed to have not called sooner and true to our guilty nature, I hide behing 'the bush'. It is hard to feel the love around, but it is there. When I feel like that (and I do feel like that) I just try to think well how does EVERYbody else know that they are loved. How do they know that I love them. Then I realize that I don't do anything more then they. If no one had been calling you, call someone yourself.... I know that it sounds silly, but it works wonders... Try it. Also, the lack of going to church, reading your bible and all sounds like a result of the depression. Even though things seem pointless, if you push yourself you will feel much better in the end... I am not suggesting that you push yourself beyond what is expected from the average person on the average day. Just MAKE yourself do what you would normally do before the depression arrived. The backslidding (from the knowledge I have of it) is not someone turning their life away from GOD, but rather losing their focus. I know someone that was a decent person and then started doing a lot of sick things... awful things. THey chose this lifestyle and embraced it and said I don't care about GOD or anything he says anymore...that is NOT backsliding...that is turning away from the GOD that died for you.... Remember when Jesus was walking on the water (if you don't it is okay...just read on) and He told Peter to walk...he was looking in HIS eyes and staying on the water just like Jesus...BUT when Peter took his eyes off of Jesus, he started to sink.....he lost his focus. If you keep yourself CHRIST focused you are going to do really well. All people turn away for a time and start to sink... just don't refuse HIM..or you will drown. Personally, it does sound to me as though you have become backslidden. YOu are in a low point and have drifted away from GOD. I pray that you come back instead of just turning away. If you still love HIM, and SEEK him, and desire to know HIM better then you are doing just fine. The brightest side of this is that USUALLY when one backslides in their Christian walk, they grow closer to The Lord in the process. Like a child in the store...and the parent says lets go and the child doesn't listen...so the parent heads out the door and the child comes running and clings tightly to the parent because they realized how foolish their priorities just were...that they would rather stay in a store looking at a toy than be with their beloved parents. (It doesn't even begin to express the relationship between us (christians) and GOD...but it is the best illustration I could think of). I consider my relationship with GOD to be very strong...but there were many peroids of depression and anxity and just hard times and I felt so badly that I couldn't read my bible and I couldn't bring myself to pray. I would just pray quickly that I am sorry, I still love you, I know this isn't too big for you, but it is too hard for me...I just cannot spend time in the word right now with you because I am having such a difficult time right now. ................................. The hard times are what bring us closer to GOD...read James 1:2...or the bottom green part on my post.. I live by that. I have definately lived through some abnormally difficult times....harder than many...but by far, not all. I have all my misfortune to thank for the treasures I have recieved simply from knowing MY GOD!!! Do not take your problems out on GOD..rather, bring them to HIM... Try to pray...he is REAL...HE IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He DIED FOR YOU>.....and HE IS waiting to hear from you. Praying is not difficult. Just say a word. I teach preschool and they are JUST learning to pray. ONe little girl simply prayed 'GOD, thank you for making gummy bears.' We didn't even have gummy bears..she just wanted to thank HIM for inventing them I suppose...but I just KNOW that that made my LORD smile. So many people forget WHO HE is and that HE is ALIVE...right now...waiting to hear from you. Just rest assured that if you do love your LORD, and TRUELY seek him and havn't denounced HIM, then this will bring you closer... Many people feel guilty after a bout of time away from GOD and stay away out of guilt but GOD doesn't want us to feel guilty. HE WANTS you to come back...so feeling guilty and staying away from YOUR GOD is actually going to disappoint HIM. LIVE FOR GOD...not yourself...or that would make you your own GOD...(although we all tend to put our selves first over GOD...it is a constant struggle with our sin nature...) LIve is a battle...keep fighting. You cannot backslide if you aren't pressing forward... that would be called turning the other way intentionally. I will DEFINATELY keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I know that this is a tough time and pray for the best and a strenghtened relationship with GOD for you. LOVE, HIS (ps, I hope cats will come and leave you a post..SHE has a lot of wisdom..I am always confident that she is on target.)

Hey Dear Judy ~ I was just wondering, Do YOU thank HER EVERY time she picks you up and EVERY time she takes you home? Just wondering. Actions speak louder than words. ALso, maybe she is the type of person that feels owed...not that it makes it right. You should pray for her...if she isn't a dedicated Christain, that is a huge problem. (I am open to ALL of Cats as well as others input.) Cats, I may be wrong...BUt if this lady had a better relationship with GOD then she will bear the fruit of the spirit and she will have kindness among the others....thus, solving this problem...I don't know, I am just using what I know. Love ya, HIS

Cats and I have spoken. I really misunderstood a lot of what was said. Cats is OKAY! I like her. I am slightly...ok, utterly embarassed that I could misunderstand so much so greatly. I have a lot to learn on my spiritual journey. She and Yod are good friends..I thought she didn't like him. Anyway, apology accepted...NOW, I extend my apologies. Love, HIS

Praying

Quote: Judy, I don't know why people don't take the ENTIRE Word of God (not meaning you) and consider context as well. Cats Meow.... You are very hurtful and discouraging. I don't know how old you are but some of us are young Christians. If I am pursing GOD will all of my heart, going to Wednesday bible studies...morning and night, reading daily and nightly, being dicipled, attending Sunday morning services on Sunday and evening services, praying constantly throughout the day...some short prayers some long...many taking over thirty minutes just me and HIM, if I got a job at Christian school working with the preschool, and I serve GOD as best I am able under Grace because I love him and WANT to serve HIM, not because I HAVE to, if I am doing the best I can to be a mature Christian as fast as I can...IF I pray for wisdom throughout the day as well as for a closer relationship with HIM and to let my light shine brighter so that others may see and turn to HIM as well.................IF I do all of these things and seek with ALL of my heart, what should one do...I don't know the entire WORD yet...I read it, but all of it is not embedded into my heart yet. The lady that diciples me...if I ask her a question she can say OH, I is right here in this book in this chapter in this verse....she is teaching me about context and inductive study. I am LEARNING. If you are a mature Christian, you HAD to start out somewhere. You, previously, had said 'rightly divide the Word of GOD', perhaps I misunderstood what you meant, but I take that offensively because I do not want to divide the Word of GOD..I actually thought the Word could not be divided. You seem as though you look down on those that don't know as much as you...without love. You said you don't know why some people don't take the entire Word of GOD and consider the context...WELL, I consider the context when I know it and when I don't I fall on it and tell those I am not sure...I did type 'Thought maybe that would help' when I posted my OBVIOUSLY inaccurate verse. So what is your opinion, Cats...should only people that are spiritually be allowed to post so as not to make a mistake or should all with pure motives that truely seeks GOD be allowed to post. You seem to look down on the posts that you disagree with. And you discourage. I TRY! Should I stop. I just want CATS opinion. I truely think that there aren't many people that are spititually mature my age, it takes a long time to study, understand, engrave in your heart, and apply all of the Word. By the way, Jesus loves to give more than you. You may as well love to give more than me. Not sure. That is for GOD to care about. Since he is the reciever. I guess, I wont worry so much on what the world thinks about my spiritual maturity, I have a very close personal relationship with GOD and remember Him through my days. I gladly proclaim Him...I try to glorify HIM... I love Him. When the sky is beautiful I thank HIM. When I get onto the interstate without a lot of cars on the entrance lane I praise HIM...(I hate merging) and thank HIM for ALWAYS clearing it for me. When I eat something yummy I thank HIM, when I look at my son, I praise HIM, When I am sad about my husband leaving us, I thank GOD for being my husband, when I actaully have enough for gas, I thank him, when I see the beauty I marvel...I tell HIM how awesome and mighty HE is. Even if my son keeps me up until three am, I STILL get out the word and pray...not a short prayer...NO, I don't go on and on about the same things...I talk to him and spend personal time with HIM. Should I sit on the sidelines because I don't have as much wisdom as you? Should I keep my mouth closed because I do not have as much knowledge? I will admit, I don't fly through my bible. I have read the same five chapters daily for the past two weeks..I want to understand them...I don't want to fly through. I want to grow. God doesn't let us grow over night. I have grown tremendously over the past year from knowing nothing to being up to par in bible studies,..you know, not asking simple questions, like how is GOD and Jesus and the holy spirit one, I am on the same page I ask good questions and I ask a lot of questions. If my advice is worth anything to you and if you are not prideful, I suggest you water the young Christians and HELP us grow instead of making us feel like we are appearing against GOD by not knowing as much as you....as a mature Christian you can help GOD with HIS children, or inhibit them. One Of Gods Royal Daughters, Your SISTER in Christ, HIS

Catsmeow ~ I apologize, I havn't been a dedicated christian for not much longer than a year. I did not know if my post would be helpful or not. I looked in my bible and found that. It was my impression that what ever Jesus said was important enough to at least mention if it could have had any relevancy. I did not know how one would interpret the scripture that I quoted...everybody is different. I have not formed a religion around it. I looked it up...I have not studied it. The bible is pretty big and while I can read the entire thing in a year it will take a lot longer for me to study every page. I am a mother and I do not give everything to my child. I give him everything that I possibly can that is good for him. It is MY OPINION (not from the word...I would rather go to the word...it isn't fallable) that you should give endlessly to necessity not desire. If someone is hungry, feed them. If someone wants you to buy them a car that is up to you. If they need a ride to somewhere important and you have the ability, drive them or buy a bus pass. You should do all that you can to make sure that someones necessities are taken care of not that they are pleased and happy. I cannot imagine someone sitting on the side of the road asking Jesus for food and Jesus replying no, I helped you all last week!..I can however see him as the type that would confront the issue head on. WITH LOVE. I leave no needs unmet in my child's life. Wants are another issue. If I gave the 'wrong' scripture in the 'wrong' context I am very sorry. I know that the person wasn't starving and in need but she still would have been hungry without lunch...yes, her own fault. This woman may just see the love of Christ in Dear Judy and come to know Christ herself. Maybe not...but that isn't what this thread is about... Since she isn't thankful should we stop loving her... If GOD was like that we would all be in trouble. Before many people are saved they are very unthankful...sure glad GOD doesn't use that to chose those he loves. It is grace...an unmerited favor. GOD shows grace. We want to be like HIM right? So shouldn't we be full of grace. I am still learning. I spend a lot of time in the word and more in prayer but I don't understand everything. I pray for wisdom daily. I again apologize. Maybe I don't belong on this forum. -HIS

Hello ~ Before I start, I have read the entire thread. I just wanted to quote my favorite person...JESUS Matthew5: If you are ordered to court and your shirt is taken form you, give you coat too. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask, and don't turn away from those who want to borrow. Thought that maybe that would help. HIS

Exactly...couldn't have put it better myself Tess. -HIS

Hey- I have been a member of Worthy for some time now and considered posting for a long time...I havn't...but you have posted for me. I too, have been seperated from my spouse since the end of February. I love him with all of my heart. We claimed to be christians for a very long time...but our life styles were FAR from the LORD and made a mockery to the title Christian. Through all of these painful difficulties we have been through, my relationship with GOD has grown more than I ever knew possible. I am thankful for all that has happened and wouldn't change a thing since GOD's will is perfect. I am still praying for my husband. He is living in the dark...deep in sin. He is completely blinded. He knows WHO GOD is but refuses to hear of listen. Once we are GOD's children he never lets us go....so if your wife was ever truely saved, SHE WILL come back....that is why she is probably so receptive. GOD could be usuing this to make the both of you to grow...and you should be thankful for that. While I love my husband dearly and miss him more than I can put into words, I think accepting GOD's will is best described as saying ' God, I really love and miss my spouse, I want them back...I want to stay married...and keep this commitment...I WANT noone else. BUT I will be okay with it if that is not your plan for me.. while it will hurt I will accept it and not dispute your decision. You know best Father. Please, give me peace in what ever you decide for me. Amen' Also, While I may be incorrect, I belive the 'ask and you shall recieve' was taken out of context. In the bible it was refering to wisdom. If you ask GOD for wisdom, he will give you wisdom...if you ask GOD for a brand new cruise ship...well, you might have one in your room in heaven..but I wouldn't hold my breath here. Every time I get hope I end up getting dissapointed. I get so excited and then crash. That is to be expected. THe thing is you need to make it okay within yourself that no matter what the outcome is you will be okay and accepting. DON"T let your world revolve around her...let if revolve around GOD....(at a time like this...it is more difficult than it sounds) Build your hopes on bigger things. I don't know what point you are in but don't push her to grow closer to GOD or to get back with you...(that backfired on me) I wanted the marriage to resume so badly that I actually made him a little aggrevated. Who wants some one tugging at them? She needs to come to GOD on her own. Maybe it will help if you hear that (somewhere in the bible) GOD choses...we have NO control over who gets saved. If she is thristy for the word...by all means...fill her with the word. Mine has just gotten to a point of giving me hope...and I have been so depressed because I havn't seen change. AND, I havn't heard anything. I see where things are going this time....again. The divorce date is coming up and I am so saddened. But I know that GOD has plans and I cannot imagine what good he is doing. I even know of one couple that seperated over a year, divorced, and remarried a littel over a year later. Anything can happen. JUst settle in your mind that no matter what happens it is GOD's will and it is working for good. (EVEN WHEN IT DOESN"T SEEM LIKE IT.) NOmatter what happens glorify GOD and hold no grudges. JUST love your wife...and DON"T PUSH!!! just love her. and lay low. FOcus on your relation ship with GOD. In the mean time I will pray for the restoration of your marriage. Have you tried christian counseling? I recommend it. REALLY, I do. Praying for Restoration, HIS

Anne Marie- I am praying for you. Personally, I think that you should not put yourself in such a terrible situation. I cannot judge if your boyfriend is truely a christian or not, but I know that a person must truely repent to be forgiven. Repentance is a military term and it means turning from the direction you are in to another and not going back. A complete turn around. Sounds like you are seeing a lot of 360's. Most commonly situations like this get much worse and never get better. There is a microscopal chance that things will just get better, but from what I have seen the time most people truely repent is when they hit bottom. You need to truely leave-he is calling you bluff. Wait a good while...(suggesting a year...have patience) and if you see obvious consistant change then you should try to reconcile. If you were on the outside looking in, what would you suggest? How would you feel if you got married to him and had a child......would he really be someone you would want raising your child? Is he responsible? How are you going to trust him around your child....he lies and does drugs! If that didn't help, how would you feel if you had a daughter and she met a man exactly like your current boyfriend. Would you be happy for her or would you be uncomfortable? Guard your heart. YOu will likely be sad if you chose to leave him...but it sounds like it coiuld be worth it. You said that you are sad and depressed..etc. That is normal. All christians have a wide varietly of emothins and sometimes they are negative feelings. You could be griving any thing tragic, but even throught that pain, as a christian you will have a deep joy that is rooted within your heart and no matter how sad and miserable you feel here and know that GOD is with you...calming the storm. Take joy-HIS

Thanks Angel...I definatly have the overflowing love of being a mother.....I never ever feel less than overwhelmed with love with my boy...he brings me so much joy. I will always have the love of my inlaws. Being blessed with loving parental figures in a peaceful homelife (I wont have the treasured constant one on one attention that I have been so abundantly blessed with) is only for a short while...the love wont go anywhere. Thank you for the reminder. Gratefully, HIS

I JUST WANT YOU TO SEE THAT GOD IS FAITHFUL AND REMIND YOU THAT EVEN THOUGH YOUR SISTERS PRAYERS WERN'T ANSWERED...IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT TIME IS UP....GOT TAKES HIS TIME... I want to say that you should not worry about saving you sister...in the bible it says that GOD has chosen who will be his children (christians) and who will not. He has never lost one that he has chosen...it is in the bible...can give references... If you do nothing and GOD wants your sister to find HIM he will send someone else...but I still encourage you to serve HIM by sharing the GOOD NEWS. Your sister may have what sounds like anxiety at the church because of guilt....she (I am just throwing in my opinion...) probably thinks that GOD is mad at her...and looks down on her for who she turned to in the time of desperation. I assure you that if GOD held things against people then I would never see heaven....before I was saved I did worse than most can try to think. That is what GOD's grace and love is all about. If your sister struggles with GOD and chruch then the first (and most important ) thing she can do is read the word...that is how she will get to know him...then she will see how unconditional his love is. I think she should read ROMANS...it is all about GOD's love. REMEMBER: While chruch is wonderful...it helps you know GOD better...worship him..and meet christian friends...almost essential (in time) the MOST important thing it to know GOD. If she has a curiosity about GOD she is better than a lot of people I know... SHe NEEDS to READ the WORD!!!!!!! SHE MUST DO THAT....but church will come later...especially with the anxiety...church doesn't save...the words do...people get saved in church so much because that is where a lot of people hear the word... If GOD has chosen her then she will know HIM.....Strengthen your faith....some people don't find GOD until they are even ninty....maybe older...but I will only speak from what I know. No matter what the turn out is try to trust that GOD's will is perfect....HE knows what his is doing and Romans 8:28 'and we know that in all things GOD works for the good of those who love him and have been called according to his purpose" As a christian, do not be angry at your mom..... I agree that she obviously didn't take being a mother the way God intended but I cannot imagine how sad her life must be.....to drink all of the time...she doesn't even allow herself to think straight...to be deprived of you own thoughts is unimaginable....she is probably drinking because she is miserable, and doesn't know GOD....which will not be good for her in the end....I feel terrible for her.....I pray that she will find GOD. I do not think that she is any less guilty for what she did to her precious children....that is inexcusable...but her life has been a waste and that is definately sad. She could have done better. AFTER>>> AFTER your sister recieves Christ she will probably get serious about doing better for herself and her children. Until then, just pray. For you, Chiquita, I recommend reading the book of Habakkuk...it is only two pages in the bible...I think it will really help you. It will not take long to read. IT is SO encouraging. I will be with you in prayer. Have faith....GOD IS there. GOD BLESS, HIS

Hello Chiquita~ Welcome to worthy. I always have a lot to say...but first, let me begin with a little true story that happened to me.... When I was little I was abused and basically treated badly. I remember praying like yesterdaythat GOD would save me ...take me out of this torture. I would cry and whail. I had never ending streams of tears. (It seems like it was just moments ago, when in actuality it has been nearly a decade.) I would sit, face in pillow....screaming for GOD to help me...because I was good, innocent, I prayed hard enough, I believed...I gave HIM an endless list of why he should save me. I prayed that he could take me out of this and give me a 'normal' family and let me be loved. I just wanted to feel the peace and security a person should have in a family. I specifically prayed "I just want to know what it is like to be loved in a normal family". It still chokes me up....(this was before I really knew GOD, but I distinctly remember after torturous months of praying and reading the bible...HE didn't save me.... He left me there to suffer and I figured that HE didn't care about someone as insignificant as me) but assuming GOD hated me, with bible in hand, tears in eyes, I screamed ' I hate you....G--, as loud as you can imagine a young child scream. I, from then on figured that I was going to live never knowing what it was like to be loved. Things got worse.....much worse. My life got about as bad as I can imagine ones life deteriorating to...I still prayed...but already accepted that love in my life would never happen...I would never have that necessary parental love. I married on my eighteenth birthday...to a violent man (go figure...very bad judgement on my part....needed better guidance) I then (while still consistantly praying) realized and accepted that GOD had never intended for me to be loved...I just wasn't lovable... I knew that HE hated me. So I thought I would just 'make it' alone...without anyone caring about me. After my husband had done some extermely immoral things....(not your run of the mill affairs) combined with violence his parents took me in....because it wasn't safe for me and my newborn. TO THE POINT....after...WAY AFTER I had given up on ever having a parental love these inlaws have been more that I would have thought having loving parents were like. They love me as if I were there own...no doubts ...NONE. Last night I was finishing a snack...and my 'dad'-father in law... said he was heading to bed...I said I am not done with my snack yet...don't leave..(I was just kidding) He sat down facing the ball game...as was I and when I finished my snack he said Okay...then headed to bed....I didn't even realize he was sitting there because of my request(had I known that I wouldn't have taken my sweet time)...nobody had ever done something (reguardless of how small it was) for me before. Mom-dedicates every Saturday to me. I could really go on forever about how wonderful they are...dad even washes my car for me sometimes....and does the cross word puzzle with me...and we actually eat dinner together as a family...mom lets me rummage through her clothes and does a lot of church things with me, they have shown me unconditional love. I AM twenty and I have been here for a year...( I NEEDED to recover from what I had been through...I had PTSD...just a minor case...still do..but it is much better) I know that I NEED to leave but would be happy staying here forever...I think they would like me to stay too...but we all know that I NEED to take care of myself and my son on my own... I am so thankful that just when I thought I had passed the age of possibly having the essential parental love...twenty years old, GOD answered my prayers from when I was eleven....the deepest prayer in my heart...I am so thankful that I got to experience it...even if it is only for a little while.

Hey Christina- I just noticed that you said that you don't have any friends...do you drive? If you can you should get involved in a bible study. There are a lot of Wednesday morning groups. Reguardless to how 'not worth it' you may feel every body NEEDs friends. In the beginning GOD said 'it is not good for man to be alone' We need people and fellowship. If you cannot drive...be brave and call a local church. If the church is WORTH going to someone would be more than glad to pick you up every week and most have child care...even if your children dont like to be seperated from you it is usually only two hours and you are probably over due some time without them all over you. The ONLY time without my son is during school and church....it helps beyond measure...he enjoys playing with the other children. A lot of wonderful friend ships start at church. Now when you last wrote you said you cannot wait to go to heaven....I cannot either....but I cannot wait to go to heaven because I love my Father...not because I hate this world....consider being here a blessing...GOD has plans for you...you could serve him in some way...namely raising your children to love HIM and serve him. Question: DO you love your husband? I was asked that before I filed for divorce...I DO love my husband. I expressed my love until he told me to file. If you DO love your husband. Then reguardless to how mean he is to you continue to serve him....love him with a Christ like love. Submit....not be a doormat but show respect...men like respect and notice that more than a lot else. Loving someone that is undeserving is VERY difficult to do...but that is what a Christ like love is. We didn't deserve Christ's love...but he loved us anyway. Instead of ONLY worring about what GOD thinks try to also to please your husband...(even if he is hurtful and undeserving). I highly recommend the book A WOMAN AFTER GOD'S OWN HEART...among MANY things it addresses how a woman can maintain a GODLY marriage. If after careful thought you realize you DON"T love your husband do NOT run out and get a divorce. If you don't love him maybe if you do some changing in your own heart then noticing a difference, he will be compelled to work on it too. Also, a christian marriage counselor would help no matter how your hearts fare. They often have a sliding scale and churches have grants for the christian counseling centers also. I am whole heartedly praying for you and your marriage. It is my prayer for you to have a marriage like Christ intended. God Bless you and keep you. Under the shadow of his wing, HIS P.S. I hope I don't come across as a know it all because I do not know it all...All I know for sure is that GOD can make things better and this is NOT how he wants them to be. He wants all HIS children to be happy. I cannot wait for you to post stating that things are getting better. Don't give up and it IS worth some effort.

Hey Christiana- I am praying for you. Even though you feel worthless KNOW that you are not worthless. I am a single mom and sometimes I feel well, like... what am I doing here!!! I just cook, clean, go to school, and raise my son. Then I realized that I didn't know anybody that had a more important job. I am raising a baby into a man that hopefully will have a very close relationship with GOD. My baby could serve a really great purpose...he could be an instrument to GOD and minister to others or anything big. I want to raise him to be willing to stand up for and if necessary even give his life for GOD without hesitation. Raising a child to love GOD that much will not be an easy task. I would rather live poor in a clean house than rich in a messy home and the good feeling from cleaning it is awesome...after you finish. I see home cooked meals much more important than a little extra money...what would that money go towards anyway...even if you didn't have to pay for daycare? Most end up spending it on eating out and entertainment... My point is that family values are not appreciated anymore. Be proud of the awesome job you have. In the bible it says what ever you do, do it as if you were doing it for the LORD. I will continue to pray for you. You seem very sweet and God brought you here for a reason. He will not let you go...continue to seek him. You are HIS royal daughter. When things happen that seem bad to you remember that it is GOD's perfect will that is in play and it will eventually end up as a blessing. My favorite bible verse is James 1:2. Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask GOD, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ...Also, Christina, when you previously mentioned that sometimes you feel spiritually drained (which IS normal). When you feel so burdened that you have a difficult time praying and cannot really get into the word just 'be still and know that he is GOD' (I can get you references if you need them...I have a hard time remembering exactly where things are but can find out quickly...let me know) Take care and GOD BLESS...don't let anyone make you question your value. Under the shadow of HIS wing-HIS