"The Jewel Inside the Lotus Blossom." <---It's an ancient oriental proverb.
When we're born, we're all perfect jewels. But these jewels are delicate beyond description. As we progress through childhood some folks, folks whom we trust and love, betray this knowledge and do damaging things to our jewel. This is irreparable. And the hurt is deep and devastating.
To protect our jewel from further such attacks we put a lotus petal in front of the damaged part. As life goes on we eventually have so many petals up that all anyone can see any more is a Lotus Blossom. No sign of the perfect jewel.
Beautiful for sure, but it's not the person we see, just a facsimile. Some are adapt at creating a beautiful blossom. Some, maybe because of unforgivable angst in childhood, have put up an ugly blossom. But it's not the jewel.
I think everybody understands that the jewel (child) would never do anything but try to please all those around him. To have been caused to put up such an ugly blossom, means that the person is particularly scared of intimate contact with anybody. So they design a covering which is repulsive. Just a defensive measure. "If every person is going to be mean, I'll keep them away from me."
It's his Lotus Blossom which you dislike. Think of the scared little child underneath that blossom and it will be impossible to dislike him. BTW, he prolly really needs love this time of year. But good luck trying to give it to him.
When we can see this proverb for what it really says, we begin to see people with compassion and forgiveness. With pity, and understanding of what they must have gone through to become like this.
I really hope this helps.
-