Dear Dgolvach
I've been running the same questions through in my mind, how can i endure? What could God possibly want of me? I can't take a step without thinking something i shouldn't. Now i'm not a Christian.....yet....but i know God's Holy Spirit is working in me, but for years now, continual doubts have been running through in my mind. Am i good enough? I usually come to the conclusion no, when i considered everything i've done in my life. Then I think last year was the worst ever, having lost 6 close friends and 2 family members in one year! I became exasperated.
You know Suzanne's right about keeping an eye out for an opening we leave for the devil to come in to our lives,.....i found myself praying at work today, asking God to just make it all go away, why was it hurting so much, why is it all just so darn difficult? I didn't hear any voices or anything, but the idea came to me to come home and remove certain literature that i have, some serious some down to the not so serious stuff. I was astounded when i came in here tonight and saw Suzannes last message, maybe God was reaffirming what he was trying to tell me this morning? Who knows?
My point is, i don't think i'm worthy, but God's trying to give me a chance. Not everyday is going to be filled with smiles and laughter but i'm going to keep on trying, do my best and if i get kicked down, i'm going to get up and keep fighting. I think the trick is to keep trying, do your very best and let God do the rest, he's stronger than you or i.
Love Anne