Apocalypse2007

Apoc, how is your friend now? Has she been formally diagnosed with BPC? Is she close to her family?

She is not too close to her family and no she hasn't been diagnosed with anything because she has never seen a doctor about it. But I being her boyfriend am the closest non family person to her and see things that nobody else sees. I would bet my life that she has at the very least the most mild version of BPD.

Apoc! Long time no see friend! I'm sorry to see that you're having problems. I guess that really all this boils down to how much you want to invest in this relationship. If the Lord has put you two together? Then His will be done in your life. As the others have said, you cannot make her want help. Yet, sometimes it is for a relationship or for love that one will want to heal. I hope your friend will want this for herself.

I hope that you are doing good. It's good to "see" you again Apoc.

trav

How are you doing Traveller? Been almost a year. Time flies huh?

She was unsure of her faith in God as well. But as of the last few months has been becoming more religious and starting to turn toward God. I want to help her with her faith issues and bring her to God as well. There are many reasons for me doing what I am. My suffering here seems small in comparison to her suffering after death. If no one helps her now, there is no telling how long anyone will live. She may never be saved.

Suffering from depression would simply make me a hypocrite if I judged her and abandoned her though wouldn't it? She has never had anyone stick by her she has pushed everyone in her life away and besides me she is basically alone. I do love her which is why I am suffering so much over this whole thing. Would God want me to abandon her? I know she is not good for me, but I need to keep pushing her to get treatment. I don't want to see her destroy her life. She cannot see these things now, they will only affect her in the future when it becomes too late.

Today was just a bad day, we had a big fight yesterday, I really care about her well being though and knowing that this disorder makes her act out and push people away I just think about how when I suffered really badly from depression how I would not want to be blamed for it or have people abandon me for it.

Thanks guys. A topic about telling someone they are going to hell gets 11 responses and my topic gets 0. Now I remember why I left this forum.

I don't know if anyone remembers me, it's been almost a year since I have posted anything. But I have a pretty big problem I would like some advice on, though it may be pointless at this point.

I've been in a relationship with a girl since Feb. (We have seen eachother in person many times, this is a long distance relationship but the distance is only about an hour between Providence and Boston) She has suggested before and now I am convinced she has Borderline Personality Disorder. Our relationship is most likely over because last night she started a huge fight with me over nothing and I called her a psycho and crazy because I had so much built up anger from taking her abusive words all the time.

She was happy yesterday when she came online. It was 1 am and I was tired and was about to go to sleep when she messaged me. When she asked me how I was doing I said fine and then like 20 seconds later she accused me of being mad at her simply because she was happy, then she told me that I don't like to see her happy. Well after is totally disputed that, I told her I was leaving that I didn't want to fight. I put up an away message and then she said a bunch of things to instigate me to come back and fight with her. She said stuff like FU and don't come visit me anymore and alot of other mean stuff. That is when I came back online and I called her crazy and told her to get help. I have been trying unsuccessfully for the past 3 months to get her to see a doctor about this.

The biggest problem I have though is that this kind of disorder is only visible to people based on how close they are to the person. So I see it more than anyone being her boyfriend. Her regular friends don't see it because she doesn't show anything to them, so it looks like it's me and not her. But anyone who could see how she acts the way I do would know there is something very wrong. We are probably broken up for good, I told her I cannot see her or talk to her anymore until she sees a doctor.

For anyone who remembers me before, I suffered from depression. I am doing better now, but I cannot take on her problems and my own. She is unwilling to get medical help, but burdens me simply by being with me and having this problem because she always makes fights and makes the relationship totally unstable. One night she is crying to me about how many problems she has and how she loves me and stuff the next night she says I don't care and that she doesn't need me at all. I have no idea what to do, I am on the verge of giving up completely.

This is what psychologists have said about this disorder. What you read here is how she acts. Can anyone give me advice please, I am desperate

Relationships

Beck (1990, p. 183) notes that individuals with BPD hold extreme, poorly integrated, and unrealistic expectations of interpersonal relationships. They fluctuate between idealization and devaluation of others (Akhtar, 1995, p. 7). The initial position in BPD relationships is that of friendly dependency on a nurturer (which they believe is desired by those upon whom they depend). This becomes hostile control when, inevitably, the caregiver fails to deliver everything individuals with BPD want (Benjamin, 1993, p. 122). The completely good, nurturing caregiver, with the most minor mistake, becomes the object of BPD hate and contempt (Oldham, 1990, pp. 301-303). Millon (Millon & Davis, 1996, pp. 662-663) describes this quality of BPD behavior within relationships as paradoxical. Even though these individuals need attention and affection, they frequently act in unpredictably contrary, manipulative, and volatile ways that elicit the very rejection they fear. Oldham (1990, pp. 301-303) notes that individuals with BPD destroy the relationships they cannot live without. Benjamin (1993, p. 113) describes this quality as individuals with BPD loving without measure the people they will soon come to hate.

This interpersonal destructiveness in BPD comes from the unstable self-esteem, internal emptiness, and deficient capacity for autonomy within these individuals. Their dread of abandonment leaves them constantly on edge and vulnerable to anxiety, conflict, and anger. When the explosiveness of their dread and rage is expressed within their relationships, they exhaust or exasperate significant others and the feared abandonment becomes a reality. Stone notes that management of interpersonal hostility is the decisive variable in determining how individuals with BPD do in midlife and beyond. Those whose anger and querulousness continue to smoulder on into middle age eventually find themselves isolated from others. Serious depression, resumption of drug abuse, and suicide are all possible results of having destroyed important relationships through anger (Stone, 1993, p. 226).

Individuals with BPD also vacillate within relationships between the extremes of distance and closeness (Akhtar, 1995, p. 7). Millon describes the BPD seeking of closeness with caring others as precipitating two contrasting and distressful consequences; these individuals will fear both engulfment and abandonment (Millon & Davis, 1996, p. 664).

:thumb: You go, Lil' bro!

I've read your posts and when you're not real mad at the world, you're a brilliant and talented writer. You express yourself very well - very articulate.

People with exceptional talent are known to wrestle

I dropped out of high school in 11th grade.

Good luck.  I am going for job orientation for a new job Saturday.

Dear Brother Gary:

heyyyyy RON. bro.----just canNOT agree with you on this nation being birthed in an antichrist rebellion------ our founding fathers tried for 200 yrs to get the king to protect them from indian raids & to make his redcoat soldiers STOP violating their GOD-GIVEN rights-illegal military courts,

hanging dissenters,even children as young as fifteen yrs. old-

you call this an anti-christ rebellion?? perhaps you should study your history a little better.....

"Winter's cold had gone away, spring's flowers had begun to grow. Perilous times they were in, 200 years ago. All would say 'good morning,' but not all would say 'good night.' Some would tuck their children in, some would not survive the fight. The pains of birth are quite severe, born of righteousness and not of sin, freedom's call would soon be answered by a few Militia Men. Fathers and sons one and all, they would walk into the lions' den, a tyrant king would be dethroned by these Militia Men. From cities, towns and the countryside, from many a now-historic place, Militia Men fought and paid the price, their dreams written in their face. By twilight's last gleaming they stood, and again by dawn's early light. Redcoats fell. The king, defeated--by God, and the Militia Men's might.

Once they were praised, once they were toasted. But that was over 200 years ago.

Today, the Militia Men are a threat--our new king has told us so. "Begone with your pride and away with your honor! Who cares about what has been? Down with the old! It's a new world order--there's no place for you Militia Men. Give up your guns, you have no right. Just who do you think you are? Your God is dead and so is your dream--now worship my five-pointed star."

Stand firm, stand strong, Militia Men. America has much need of you today. Be vigilant now, as never before. Evil is trying to steal our country away. Perhaps tomorrow, or in a thousand years you will receive the rewards you are due. Our flag will fly, our spirit will soar, and it will happen because of you. History will record many of your names, stories will tell of where you've been. 'God save the Republic!' will be the citizens' cry, 'and God bless the Militia Men!'"

From the Michigan Militia's recorded message on "Current Events," 4/23/95

I don't know tiger.  Take it up with the network people.  There is alot worse out there than that...but hey everyone is entitled to their own beliefs.  I don't really care either way I'm not for or against it.

I didn't mean children.  I think anyone 13 and older should be able to watch the show.  It's quite hypocritcal of anyone here to critisize me for stating my opinion if you let your children watch anything with violence in it, or anything sexual or with bad language.

It's a game.  The cards are nothing but cool looking artwork and numbers used to identify the strength of each card.  There is nothing demonic about it it's a simple game.  There are no rituals in the game you don't do rituals you don't play with magic all it is are a bunch of dumb cards that create a game no different than a deck of cards except their are names and artwork on each card.

I actually collect these cards lol( But I am a card collector anyways so I collect other cards too).

I'm not quite sure I am following you thought on the last post??

It's just that there is a common thread running through many posts where people complain about speech being limited in some areas but then follow the same limiting tactic in order to silence dissent, especially when it comes to Israel and the Jews. As soon as you point out Israel's unrighteous sins, people jump all over you, call you names and attach all kinds of labels. They are in effect doing the very thing they complain about.If you are going to have free speech in society, it has to be for all, not just a select religion or race, or nationality, etc. If you aren't willing to allow free speech in the case of Jews or criticism of America, then you have set the stage for the limiting your own ability to say what you want about others too.

All you ever do is attack Jews and Americans.  No one takes yu seriously.  You can say whatever you want the mear fact that you have never ever once been objective has destroyed your credability completely.  So you just go on and keep giving us your crappy little speeches on why you should be allowed to hate the Jews and we will all keep on rolling are eyes at your dumb posts.

The funny thing is tat you seem to have lots of speeches for us as Americans on free speech yet in your country what you are saying about the Jews is "hate speech" and you should be jailed for it.

It's almost funny to hear you speak of someone else going to the lake of fire Levi especially when it's the leader of Israel.

If I were you I'd try to take an AC with me when I die.

Good post star.

I say it's a great idea.

With a Republican Senate and House now, many many good judges will be put on the bench.  Consrvative right-wing Christian judges and there isn't a thing the democrats can do about it.

No more battles over gay marriage, groundwork for banning abortion will be laid, gun rights strengthened, and no more ACLU lawsuits banning the 10 commandments.

What has happened in office HAS NEVER HAPPENED IN AMERICA.  This was truly and act of God.

For everyone who has prayed to God to help save America, this is your prayer answered.

My favorite song is from the Goo Goo Dolls.  It's called

Hate This Place

Gone away

Who knows where you been

You take all your lies

And wish them all away

I somehow doubt

We'll ever be the same

There's too much poison

And confusion on your face

Can you feel it

I didn't mean it

Can I see you

What are we doin'

I think I love you

But I ain't saying nothin' you don't know

Hold on dreamaway

You're my sweet charade

Take your time

Move yourself to me

Yeah I can take your lies

Until you fall away

You know I'm lost

Hiding in your bed

No I don't think it's wrong

It's just gone to my head

Can you feel it

I didn't mean it

Can I see you

What are we doin'

I think I love you

But I ain't saying nothin' you don't know

Hold on dreamaway

You're my sweet charade

Hey whatcha do to me

Would you come back to me

Yeah I can't do another day

I'm not certain of it anyway

I'm not messin' with another life

Can I get on without you

Tell me lies

That you

Know I need

Hold on dreamaway

You're my sweet charade

Hold on dreamaway

You're my sweet charade

How can you not know what the Christian Coalitition is?  It's a huge organization that is used to spread the word of God founded by Pat Robertson.

Is this the march for the support of Israel?  I wish I could go but I have no transportation.  I never get to show my support in person because these marches are so far away  

Ok jip what are ground to go to war??

When we're attacked, or we're in imminent danger of being attacked.

But my real question is this - when is it appropriate for one country to attack another when no overt hostilities currently exist?