Thank you for the responses. Yes, my wife and I are both Christians. Since we've gotten back together she refers to that "situation" as an emotional breakdown. "The guy" had been a friend of the family since they were all kids, but really more friends with her brothers. For whatever reason, she and him started texting and talking to each other, (as friends). It got to be where they were texting or calling each other several times a day, all day, every day. She (apparently) wasn't happy with her life, (or me), and began confusing in this guy about our marriage. According to her, he was supportive, kind, understanding, and listened to her, and that is apparently when she started thinking of him as more than a friend. She said she would never have an affair, and decided that since she had these feelings for this guy it was better to divorce me rather than cheat.
As far as whether he knew her feelings: I believe that she never actually told him how she felt. However, she did tell family members, (as I said), including her brother and sister-in-law who hung out with this guy almost daily. So it's safe to assume he had some idea. When I first learned about him, I called him and told him I felt it was inappropriate for him to be calling and texting my wife, and discussing personal details about my marriage with her. He said he was her friend and he wasn't going to let me tell him who he could call or text.
I had no problem whatsoever forgiving my wife. I love her. She admitted she made a huge mistake and asked me to forgive her, and I have... 100%.
I don't know what kind of game the guy was playing, nor do I care. If a man contacted me and told me he felt it was inappropriate for me to be texting and calling HIS wife 10-15 Times a day, at all hours, day or night... I would stop immediately. I can't imagine myself texting and calling someone's wife and discussing her marriage with her to begin with. That this guy completely ignored my request is what bothers me. He has never admitted any wrong-doing, apologized, or asked for forgiveness. I can forgive him for his past actions without a problem. But since he has never admitted that what he did was inappropriate, both in his inappropriate relationship with my wife, (sexual or not), and in disrespecting my request for him to back off... I don't want him around.
My wife is embarrassed by the whole ordeal. It's not that she wants to see the guy anymore. Rather, she wants everything to go back the way it was and pretend it never happened. If we have a family get together and specifically tell people not to invite him, that will just create more problems, causing even more friction, and just compound the problem, not resolving it. I can see her point from her perspective.
I still don't want him in my house.
