I live in Asia my wife is Korean. I married her because I love and care about her BUT I didn't have the physical spark that made me want her in that way. She is not unattractive and I am not a fussy guy but she is so far from my type it's become an issue. We never sleep together in our marriage and I do t like to even look at her as it depresses me and reminds me how much I find her unattractive. I married probably out of pity for her and care for her. I think I acted too holy or trying to be and now I can't follow through and make either myself or her happy. She is suffering a lot now too, which I feel terrible about.
This may seem shallow but I can't find any happiness or joy from my marriage and I find myself heavily lusting after other women here.
I sit alone and wonder if it's ok to divorce or if I have the metal energy to do so anyway. I feel like I will be unhappy of I stay married and possibly unhappy if I break up cause I do care for her and the guilt will kill me. I guess the advice would be stay together and make it work but what I find is I can't, I find myself being horrible to her out of my bitterness. I am bitter also cause I received no marriage advice before the marriage from the Korean Church I was at. I made the decision alone knowing at the time it seemed wrong.
I feel like I'm in a dark place away from God and I would be judged if I divorce and maybe go to hell. I'm in a kind of hell now...
