Rifkah

Just google sexual health or gum in your area. There are plenty of clinics. I used to analyse the samples! The infection rates are really low, so don't worry about it too much.

Yup to what's gone before. Praise God you're convicted of your addiction. Now to set about turning away from it and asking for Gods help and strength with your battle. Get rid of the porn and try looking at things more Holy when you're tempted to look at porn. Might be an idea to get tested to make sure you haven't picked up any diseases that need treatment too. Lots of things are easy to treat but can leave damage if they go untreated.

You really do have a gift for writing soothing words. Erm, you know 1% of the population is schizophrenic then more have psychosis. So there is probably people in your church who suffer like me. Worrying that something so common is not understood.

This is a really sweet reply thanks. I'm not looking for sympathy just a little understanding. My church pretty much cast me out, haven't had the confidence to find a new one. They believed it was demonic and didn't want me around. I have a psychiatrist, they dole out drugs that make me sleepy and fat but quieten things down. The members of the church said unkind things about my changed appearance and used that as further evidence I was harbouring evil. Meh. Don't think it's just psychosis as they could be pretty mean to depressed people too. Just ignorance I guess. Part of the deal is social withdrawal so I'm pretty raw when people say things and don't have a great drive to be in company. Rifkah

I'm not considering a sharp self made exit Marilyn but I have in the past. I just mean I'd like something to give me a purpose to do. Feel so useless.

Lol thanks. I'm all up for the eternal purpose in your interest section!

Going to try and explain things a bit more to see if I can get any help from the body. Today I went to town, this is a really big thing for me as I don't go out on my own much. I caught the bus in, I'm not allowed to drive anymore. I needed to go to the bank and pick up some presents for my mums birthday. So that was a big driver for me. As I was walking through the street that lead to the mall I heard my name called over a tanoy. I know there is no tanoy there so I knew I was hallucinating. My vision went strange peoples faces seemed menacing, I carried on walking. I went to the bank, had to transfer some money to a different account, there was a guy talking to himself. I used the ATM and heard him say, she's the one she did it, I should kill her. I finished up using the ATM and went inside the bank where I knew I'd be safe. I guessed I was hallucinating but wasn't sure. After finishing up in town I was quite tense, I went to the taxi rank to go home rather than get the bus. The guy who'd been talking to himself and another guy came past and told me to cheer up. The guy in the taxi commented how they were intoxicated. I hate going out. I am trapped by whatever is going on here.

Thanks willimina.....so hard to find that sound mind bit though :/ Can't trust my own thoughts.

Not an answer but as a scientist I look on these words and I'm kinda saddened. For me the wonder is in the idea that God is in every part of the system, making it work right now. So the fact there is the gravity, yup that's God first cause but God also doing it right now. God the sustainer...poor Stephen he's looking for miricals and they are right in front of him. Pray eyes that he might see? John 5:17

Awww so many of you saying hello, thank you and bless you all. Marilyn I found the song on YouTube thanks for that, songs have meant a lot to me.

Thanks coffee, it was great meeting you in chat. You seems so kind. Xx

Hey and hello! This is me, came from a rough background. Valley Found God, became a teacher. Hill Found out my partner was a predator and got rid. Valley Went back to school, got a masters started work to phd. Hill Got bullied ended up sick, now have psychosis. Valley Really struggle with what the bible has to say about psychosis. Really struggle with how people rejected me because of my illness. Trying to find a path back into being some place I can help people. Any pointers on where the next hill is would be great Blessings xx