markdohle

I see you point, but it is not what I meant, nor does it deal with a lack of joy, it deals with simple life for all of us, we Christians have to deal with such ups and downs in life. Thank you for your comment. Peace Mark

Thank you, true words of deep wisdom. I often meet people who reject God because he will not jump through our hoops. We are loved too much by God for that too happen. Peace Mark

Thank you. Yes we need to 'trust' even in the dark and in doubt, for joy is deeper than feelings or emotions. Peace Mark

Thank you. peace Mark

Thank you very much. Peace Mark

A Mocking Bird’s lonely song What is considered early in the morning will vary from person to person and place to place. Since we have our Vigil’s at 4 AM, after being here for a few years, that time seems like 6 AM. I am lucky I love the morning hours so when I sometimes wake up at 1:30 and feel refreshed, I like to go for walks, for it is not really that early here. Around the buildings, in our front parking lot by the bakery and also up to the store we have lighting. I find the sunlight too bright for me and the sun too hot, so I seldom go out during the day and now that I am older, I have to wear sunglasses in order to be outside. So the coolness of the night and the darkness are soothing to me. The night lights to me are very restful and calming. So it is a nice environment to be out and to take a nice slow walk. Most mornings I see some deer. Most run when they see me walking, some others just continue to eat. With a very few I can come up about three feet from them and they don’t seem to mind. However if I stop then they start to fidget and stomp their hoof on the ground….then the run off. Yet, there are even a smaller number who seem curious about who and what I am. I guess they figure I am not going to eat them, so a few times a deer has come right up to me, say about three feet and just looked at me. It almost seemed as if they were trying to make some sort of breakthrough in their awareness. One even shook her head and turned away slowly and went back to eating. Deer are beautiful, but for some reason people think they are dainty, when the opposite is true. Their hoofs are very sharp and the strength in their legs is astounding, so I do have a lot of respect for them. At this time, because the bridge that is on the road of our frontage property on 212 is being rebuilt so there is no traffic at all passing us by. So the silence is profound, beautiful and uninterrupted, some mornings the insects are even silent. About two weeks ago, on such a silent morning, as I was returning to the retreat house and was in the parking lot that the bakery sets on, the last tree on the left suddenly became alive with the song of a Mocking Bird. One bird call after another was loudly and joyously sung. So I stopped and listened. Then I noticed there was no response, just this one bird calling out getting no response….yet it continued. It brought out a pang of sadness in me and I wondered about that. As I started to ponder this, I began to see that in some way this bird reminded me of mankind. Even those of us who have deep faith, we do not always get the response we would like from the Infinite One, in fact many of us may never get one. Yet like the Mocking Bird we persist in our prayer of longing for connection. The Mocking Bird perhaps is simply responding to an instinct to mate, as well as making out territory for itself, something powerful and it can’t do otherwise. I envy animals because they are not burdened with the depth of self awareness that we have, they know what they need to do and without thinking do it. We question, struggle and seek to find answers to life’s mysteries. I believe that prayer is a universal response to the world and its often incomprehensible presence in our lives. We can marvel at its beauty, or be terrified at its seeming indifference to us. This reality drives many deeper into faith, into seeking what is behind this wonderful, awful, beautiful and tragic world. Those like the Mocking Bird who continue in their prayer life, find that in spite of themselves deep changes take place slowly over the years. They also learn that prayer is not a protection to the ups and downs of life, yet it gives a center to stand from, a relationship with Infinite-Mystery and in that even aging seems like a grace, for we begin to understand that all stages in our lives are good, but each succeeding stage on our pilgrimage is more important than the one proceeding it. So our last years take on a depth of meaning that younger people may not have any inkling of. I certainly did not. So we continue to sing, in spite of suffering, and in our unconscious futile desire to make prayer into some sort of magic where we can control our lives and get through it unscathed. This is impossible of course. For like that Mocking Bird singing hopefully for a response, it will one day be silent, it will no longer be part of this world…..so it is with us, though unlike the Mocking Bird we are saddled with the knowledge that we will one day cease to exist as far as this world is concerned. So like Mother Theresa, many go through life living in the darkness of faith, yet, in their seeking they continue out of true love and the desire for truth….for me these are the great souls closer to the mystery than those of us who do not live there all the time. Faith is a gift, yet we do have to respond, be open and deal with doubts. Yet why should doubt get the last word, why not let doubt drive us deeper in the mystery instead of escaping into skepticism and atheism. For the Christian the New Testament points to the reality of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is because of that and that only that it was written in the first place. Without the Resurrection, Jesus was just another failed messianic figure, so common in his lifetime.—Br.MD

Thank you. Yes I agree knowing that there is a better future, or that our suffering is not forever can help. Yet we still have to endure, live through it even when things 'feel' hopeless. Peace Mark

Thanks for the responses, yet people still suffer, how we deal with it. I believe it is not a problem that can be solved, but a mystery that is lived through. As Christ lived through his passion.....he asked to be spared, that the cup be taken away, yet it was not and because he did God's will....in that he lived through it, as we all must. For all things work out for the good for those who love God, who love Christ Jesus.....though in the living it out, it may not seem so. Pece Mark

I always find it interesting when an atheist tells me that there is no proof for the existence of God. I am taken by the Last Judgement scene in the Gospel of Matthew. Where Jesus invites those who reached out to others and helped them into his kingdom. The kicker is that they did not know what Jesus was talking about. Those on his left did not reach out to others and were therefore incapable of entering into the kingdom. Jesus being the 'Word', has always been at work in the world, so all much 'deal' with that reality. C.S. Lewis in his Chronicles of Narnia had an interesting take on the Last Judgement. As each inhabitant came up to Aslan (Jesus Christ) they either knew him or did not. Some of the those who knew him were from the opposing side. It seemed to be a deep knowing, perhaps a heart to heart connection. Or a choice made at such a deep level that it was not articulated. We need to let others know of the love of God that is shone through Christ Jesus. Some reject because of well 'us', if we do not show that Christ Jesus dwells in our hearts........our union with Christ if not shown to those around us, then all of our quotes from scripture are for the most part worthless, at least in the moment. However, if a heart is open, then the seed planted will take root I believe in time. I have talked to some atheist, and many of them just don't accept any theories on 'theism', yet they talk about believing in something being out there....if pushed even many so called hard core atheist will come to that conclusion. I believe many who say they are atheist are reacting to be bludgeoned by scriptures. Though I do believe there are 'real' atheist out there. They are the ones who are not angry or defensive from my limited experience. I have also found that deism is a safe way for some to believe in a creator.....yet one who is impersonal and does not care one way or another what becomes of us. Peace Mark

Suffering is it a problem? During our ‘Self-Confrontation’ retreat on Saturday evening we had an open discussion. These discussions tend to bring out some deeper aspect of any given retreat that was not addressed directly. The floor was open to just about any topic that would be brought up. The problem of suffering came up and those who shared did so deeply and with courage. This is not surprising in the least, for this retreat would attract courageous souls, who can step out and share things deep and personal about their lives. In math, when you add up 2+2 you always get 4. So it is problem that is easily solved. Philosophy seeks to find some answer to the problem of evil, but since it is still being asked, it is obvious that it has yet be solved. Problems should be solvable, just like the problem of what is wrong with my car. A car breaks down and we find ways to fix it. Sometimes it may take time to figure out but in the end we do. Until the time comes to junk it. In either case, problem solved. In our human journey, when dealing with suffering, 2+2 does not equal four at all, but perhaps just a long row of questions marks. So we could say (human life) + (why we have to suffer) = (???!???). Are problems and mysteries the same thing? I don’t believe so. We can confuse the terms I believe. A mystery is something lived out and if thought about we can only go deeper into the mystery, but the journey never really is solved. So we live one day at a time, get through it, and we live through it the next day. Just one day at a time. It would be nice if we could solve the problem of heart/gut wrenching suffering yet we can’t. We can try to fix our lives in such a way that suffering is reduced, yet there will always be people who can’t be fixed or helped in ways that we would like. In some ways we are powerless when it comes to this mystery. Yet we are called to minister to one another in hope and to bear one another’s burdens. As Christ Jesus did ours and still does. One day at a time sweet Jesus, one day at a time, is from a song. Yet I believe it is a good prayer. For days pass quickly, the years fly by and in the end we are here for such a short time, that all we can do is to get through the good days and bad days and those in between. Faith is not easy when God and the world does not work the way we would hope for and like. To have a world where justice is workable, where the innocent do not suffer or if they do, get some kind of tangible breakthrough of God in their lives is something many long for…..yet the awful mystery is that we live in a world where the above is seldom achieved. In many lives all people experience is injustice, slavery and suffering and then they die. End of story, or is it? Christians have the ‘story’ of Jesus, his life, sufferings and death. What happened to him was unfair, unjust and truly horrible. He died in darkness and a failure. His followers scattered and dispirited. Yet they lived through it, they had no choice, and in the end the unexpected happened, the impossible, he did as he promised…..He rose from the dead! The unexpected is in all of our futures I believe, so just one day at a time sweet Jesus, one day at a time.

I am a Christian, a catholic monk, this is a nice place. I need to look around more before I might ask a question. Thanks for the warm welcome. Peace mark

Suffering, is it a problem? During our ‘Self-Confrontation’ retreat on Saturday evening we had an open discussion. These discussions tend to bring out some deeper aspect of any given retreat that was not addressed directly. The floor was open to just about any topic that would be brought up. The problem of suffering came up and those who shared did so deeply and with courage. This is not surprising in the least, for this retreat would attract courageous souls, who can step out and share things deep and personal about their lives. In math, when you add up 2+2 you always get 4. So it is problem that is easily solved. Philosophy seeks to find some answer to the problem of evil, but since it is still being asked, it is obvious that it has yet be solved. Problems should be solvable, just like the problem of what is wrong with my car. A car breaks down and we find ways to fix it. Sometimes it may take time to figure out but in the end we do. Until the time comes to junk it. In either case, problem solved. In our human journey, when dealing with suffering, 2+2 does not equal four at all, but perhaps just a long row of questions marks. So we could say (human life) + (why we have to suffer) = (???!???). Are problems and mysteries the same thing? I don’t believe so. We can confuse the terms I believe. A mystery is something lived out and if thought about we can only go deeper into the mystery, but the journey never really is solved. So we live one day at a time, get through it, and we live through it the next day. Just one day at a time. It would be nice if we could solve the problem of heart/gut wrenching suffering yet we can’t. We can try to fix our lives in such a way that suffering is reduced, yet there will always be people who can’t be fixed or helped in ways that we would like. In some ways we are powerless when it comes to this mystery. Yet we are called to minister to one another in hope and to bear one another’s burdens. As Christ Jesus did ours and still does. One day at a time sweet Jesus, one day at a time, is from a song. Yet I believe it is a good prayer. For days pass quickly, the years fly by and in the end we are here for such a short time, that all we can do is to get through the good days and bad days and those in between. Faith is not easy when God and the world does not work the way we would hope for and like. To have a world where justice is workable, where the innocent do not suffer or if they do, get some kind of tangible breakthrough of God in their lives is something many long for…..yet the awful mystery is that we live in a world where the above is seldom achieved. In many lives all people experience is injustice, slavery and suffering and then they die. End of story, or is it? Christians have the ‘story’ of Jesus, his life, sufferings and death. What happened to him was unfair, unjust and truly horrible. He died in darkness and a failure. His followers scattered and dispirited. Yet they lived through it, they had no choice, and in the end the unexpected happened, the impossible, he did as he promised…..He rose from the dead! The unexpected is in all of our futures I believe, so just one day at a time sweet Jesus, one day at a time.

Stories Callistus is a very gifted man. He loves people and they love him back. He is very good with groups and he has enriched the community by his presence here and his creative approach to how we relate to the community around us. Yesterday he called me while here in the retreat house office and asked me if I could be one of the monks to meet with a ‘story-telling group’. The other member of the community was Elias. Elias is a very wise man, who has the great gift of being a true listener, and is very good with the new members of our community when they enter here. He is a very good Novice Master and since he listens and the new members experience his gift, we have a good number of those going on to making a commitment to our life. I am very thankful that these two men are members of our community. So late yesterday morning Elias and I went to the crypt chapel and met the group. It can be easy to forget the importance of each ones life, their depth and how hard the journey can be. If the importance of stories is forgotten, then the ability to really listen can be lost as well. This group exist to educated the public on how important each life is, and how deep and rich human experience actually is. Varied experiences, both those that are pleasant, as well as those that are tragic, help to make up the rich tapestry of our lives and the more we learn to listen to others, the deeper we can get in touch with our own journey. Hearing a story from another can bring forth memories perhaps long forgotten that have had a deep impact on ones life. This can lead to further insight and healing for both parties. The one telling the story as well as the one listening, enrich each other. Life is so short, not always sweet, but every experience is important and even crucial. For as we develop our own stories and how we respond to them can help us to learn other or better ways in how we deal with life further down the road on our pilgrimage. One choice builds on another. Merely instinctive responses can lessen our inner freedom and hinder our often slow process towards deepening our humanity. Compassion for others outside of ones family, or social and religious group, is not as common as one would think. So looking back on our lives and seeing where we are in this ongoing process, can help us to see a bigger picture. Two of the stories that were shared with the group did not have happy endings. Elias told one about the 2nd world war, the second story was close to it. Both had to do with the killing of Jewish children. The first story told by Elias evoked a memory for one of the memories of the ‘story-telling’ group. Both brought to the fore that not all stories have a happy ending, but they leave a deep longing for healing and mercy as well as justice. Compassion comes when we understand that endings that lead to further longing are an important part of deepening our ability to feel for the ‘other’…. the stranger, those on the fringe etc. When that does not happen we do loose something deep and important. We lose a part of our ‘human’ heart, and become simply a fearful one, interested only in survival. Scriptures are full of stories. Not all of them pleasant, nor do they all have happy endings. They are about human beings, their shortcomings, their sinfulness, as well as their ability to find deeper meaning and healing in their lives. People are often shocked by what happens in the Scriptures, but they are merely a reflection of the human heart, its failures and wanderings away from its true calling. Yet there is always hope. We can change, or attempt to turn around. Most likely more than once, towards that which beckons us ever forward. For we often do not know what we are doing. We turn around when we finally do understand, if it is only in part.