Mea kakau

As a child my family never went to church until I was a teen. It was an interfaith church without any real direction. Basically a bunch of mishmash rather than anything beneficial and blending different religions into one more religion. Confusing. For the next 25 years I became a full-fledged New Ager, delving into every aspect of it. Deep down inside I kept asking "what more is there?" I never found it until the day I came to the end of myself. I literally wanted to end it all on that day. Instead I called the number on a business card a friend, who was a Christian, had given me. The day was February 16, 1991. I'll never forget how much my life changed since accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

From that day forward, the Lord has given me visions, dreams, words of knowledge, and wisdom on a regular basis. Things I couldn't possibly know any other way were given to me. I couldn't read the Bible because of how I was abused and yet the Lord revealed His truth to me, speaking to me audibly.

After reading everything you all wrote and discovering this man owes a company nearly 100 times more than he owes me, I've completely let this go of this debt and decided to not contact the man's senior pastor.

5 hours ago, Willa said:

I am so glad to hear your husband is doing better.  I also am praying for all of you.

Hearing that bone cancer is very painful, your beloved dog will tell you when it is time for him to pass, whether it be soon or should God give him many more years.  Our son's Boxer also had cancer.  She started whimpering all day and night telling them when the pain had become unbearable.  The had prayed for her often, but it was time for her to go.  

I am sure that God will provide another therapy dog for you, but none will replace him.  So do lay hands on him and pray for him, and help him in whatever way God leads you.  8 years is a long life for most large breed dogs.  Be thankful for the time you have had him and know that you have given him a loving home with a wonderful job.  Working dogs need to have jobs and purpose.  You have met his needs well and God will continue to direct you in how to meet his present needs.

Blessings,

Willa

Hi Willa.

Thank you for praying and telling me about the Boxer's pain.

Our vet prescribed two types of medication for Bailey, one for moderate pain and the other for severe pain.

My husband said that it was the first time that he saw a vet tear up over a diagnosis. Bailey exhibited the ideal behavior during his x-ray. The vet didn't have to medicate him to keep him still. Bailey just laid there and allowed the vet to do whatever he needed to do. Another testament to Bailey amazing disposition.

I spoke with the vet today and I heard him choking up over the diagnosis again.

On 11/28/2016 at 10:51 AM, Openly Curious said:

Yes you are making sense.  I also want to point out that the abuse you suffered personally at the hands of your father was none your fault at all.  You were only a child at the time and you did not willingly of your choices participate in your father's sins.  Instead you were forced into those terrible acts in which your father committed trespasses (sins) against you.  You have nothing to feel guilty for or repent of in that realm of things.  Although I know it is extremely hard to separate yourself from what your father was doing to you, because he made you a part of his sins and you where there in the midst of those terrible acts.  But that does not mean you are guilty and bear any of the blame for what your father did to you personally.  Things can get really confusing and it takes time and work so don't give up.

I agree with the others that there is no purgatory (an in between place between heaven and hell). The bible does not teach that no where within it's pages but when a person dies their spirit either goes directly to heaven or to hell.  There body however goes to sleep (or put to rest) in the grave to await the resurrection when our bodies will be united with our spirits again to where we will live forever in a body that will never die.  This is the case for both the unbelievers as well as for the believers.  There is no purgatory (in between place between heaven and hell). 

Wanting your father to find salvation after all he has done, that to me is the grace of God working in your heart.  I imagine those feelings alone are confusing as they change being erratic from day to day.  Seeing your father on one hand and then seeing the serial killer and child abuser on the other and I am sorry you are going through this confusion.

The vilest persons of all in this world can be saved and go to heaven or they can reject God's plan of salvation for them and go to hell.  It take a godly sorrow working in our hearts to bring us to true repentance.  This is not like saying I'm sorry about something and getting up the next day and doing those wrong things you where sorry for all over again for that is not a godly sorrow.

But having a godly sorrow comes from God to where you are so sorry or remorseful for what you did in the eyes of God you repent and then turn away from those previous sin and walk like an entirely different person than you had been in the past as past sins are washed away.   Only God can know for sure if a person truly did repent.  The only thing we have to go by is the fruit a person bares in their every day lives.  If they are a Christian or not a believer as scripture tells us we shall know them by their fruit.  

I don't know if your father found forgiveness in the eyes of God or not, nor am I qualified to judge him either way as I am not around him.  But if a person found forgiveness then you will see the new creature they have become as the old things are passed away and Behold all things are become new.

I encourage you to study your bible and to dig deeper in it.  Knowing scripture can give needed discernment in sorting through what is truth and what is a lie doing away with confusion...hugs

Thank you Openly Curious.

After purchasing my newest Bible I realized why I liked the other I had. It's an inductive study Bible. I'll have to literally dig my other one out from under my monitor. It never elevated it enough anyhow.

On 11/28/2016 at 1:50 PM, Rare Bird said:

Sociopaths, psychopaths (narcissists and borderline personality) are classified as cluster-B personality disorders in which the person lacks the emotional "wiring" to show true empathy. Empathy is necessary for one to be self-reflective and see how they brought pain into another's life, and therefore, highly unlikely, if not impossible, for serial killers (who are commonly in the cluster-B personality disorder spectrum) to repent and be saved. 

They don't see anything wrong with their actions. Ever. This doesn't change as they are wired this way, usually do to attachment, abandonment or neglect during infancy >> childhood, where personality (and disorders) develop.

Thank you Rare Bird. This is my line of thinking too.

I know my father as well. Though he hasn't had a formal diagnosis from a psychiatrist, doubt if he'd ever go to one either because there's nothing wrong with him, my therapists have confirmed that he is a psychopath.

And this is why I wonder whether he can surrender to the Lord. I seriously doubt it. It wouldn't be a genuine repentance because he never once had remorse or empathy for anything he did to me or others.

And not every serial killer is a psychopath.

Though I'd love for my father to come to the Lord. I just don't think it's possible for him.

Yesterday my husband had a check up after his radiation treatment for prostate cancer. During his treatment, he brought Bailey into the waiting room with him. When he met up with his doctor, the receptionist asked him how's Bailey. The doctor asked him too. Then my husband told them about Bailey's new diagnosis. My husband had a good laugh about their curiosity about Bailey and no concern for how he was doing. His check up went well too. His PSA test was the much lower than the doctor expected.

Our beloved dog Bailey, 8 years old, was just diagnosed with osteosarcoma today. Bailey has been my husband's and my therapy dog. My husband has Rheumatoid Arthritis. And I have PTSD. Bailey's been the best dog we've ever had.

He's been good for others as well. My husband regularly took him to Home Depot and everyone loved him. When they haven't seen him there in a while they ask where Bailey is. Children who were terrified of dogs of any size would lay down beside him. Bailey is a giant breed dog, 32 inches at the withers, yet to us he's not very big. He's still the puppy we remembered coming home with us that special day in November 2008. Bailey has been the epitome of his breed, a Leonberger, exemplifying gentleness and love of everyone he meets.

To say I'm distraught is an understatement.

Thank and bless you Retrobyter and woundeddog, those are words I needed to hear/read. Loved the Bible references. Something to study and read again and again.

7 hours ago, woundeddog said:

you cant force him to be saved- if the Holy Spirit leads him to repentance it will be genuine

 

That's not what I meant. More along the lines of a psycopath lying. He'd look me straight in the eye and lie to me. Make sense?

I guess though God would be the only one who could see the man's true heart.

13 minutes ago, woundeddog said:

it is not generated by our own efforts- God convicts us and repentance is a product of the Holy Spirits efforts- I have heard that Jeffery Dahmer became saved- I heard his testimony on TV- he was saved but he still suffered the effects of his actions, it wasn't anything like purgatory, but the effects of our sin will not necessarily be washed away

Can it be genuine though? I doubt my father would confess his sins as he never once admitted to me that he had done anything wrong. He believed he was doing God and the world good by ridding them of these despicable children.

I guess I need to do some in depth Bible study to come to terms with all of this. It's confusing to me. It's not that I don't want my father to be saved. I know one is saved by the grace of God. Maybe there's no reasoning that reality. I don't know if I'm making sense.

The thing which concerns me is that my father was a psychopath and a narcissist (a given with a psychopath), and as such he's incapable of remorse. So how does a person who doesn't feel remorse for his criminal acts ask Jesus Christ into his life?

It's obvious, according to the Bible, that Paul had remorse for murdering Christians.

I hope this is the right place for this.

My father was a serial killer. He murdered homeless children. He abused and tortured them first. He forced me to participate and watch. I was abused and tortured too. I've forgiven him for what he did to me. I've forgiven myself for participating in the deaths of those children. I'm still coming to terms with forgiving him for what he did to those children.

If my father accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior would he go to Heaven? Does he still have to answer for what he did to me and those children? Would that be called purgatory? (Note: Many serial killers have also been Christians, believing they are ridding the world of filth, etc.)

And what about those children he murdered? Most likely they were too young to come to Christ. They were involved in the the sex trade. What happens when they die? Heaven? Purgatory?

What exactly is purgatory?

Thank you all for your support on each side of the issue. All is appreciated and welcomed. I've decided to contact the man's senior pastor. If nothing happens with that, I'm going to drop this. And I'll continue to pray for the man and his wife.

7 hours ago, Yowm said:

2 days or 21 years, the principal is the same. A brother in the Lord is to keep up his obligations, especially one in leadership as he is. Golly, he is to be an example to the flock and he is setting a terrible example. I would have nipped that one in the bud years ago. If you are to pursue it, I would approach his senior pastor and see what he thinks...otherwise at this point just commit the whole matter to the Lord.

That's what feels right to me within. What kind of example is this man setting for the flock he teaches?

At the time he borrowed the equipment he wasn't a pastor yet. Rather he was the church's only worship leader.

We asked him for the money to replace the equipment numerous times after the equipment 'went missing.' He was always off putting, saying, "I haven't forgotten. I'll get to you soon." He'd even see my husband at the grocery store and repeat those same words. They were always the first words out of his mouth before any other conversation started.

I thought of approaching his senior pastor with this. Is that okay to do?

9 hours ago, Abby-Joy said:

I know it's painful to be put off like that by a brother... I've been there.  But after awhile, you just have to realize they aren't intent on repaying. 

All of us played on a praise and worship team, the man and his wife and my husband and I. One time he visited us and saw our digital synthesizer. He was a wonderful piano player and asked if he could play it. Soon after that he wondered if he could borrow it to start his two ministries. And we never saw it again. I've always suspected it was never stolen in the first place. He just intended to keep it.

I've prayed for him to have success in his business and he did.

I'd consider this stealing because he never intended to bring it back.

I guess I've got a hard time with him being a pastor and teaching the Alpha Course at his church. Of course I'm not supposed to judge. Right. Geesh! It's okay for him to steal and then teach his congregation not to steal. Say what!?

This isn't the first time a pastor preached on not doing a particular thing, and then I caught them in the act doing exactly what their sermon said not to do.

Hello ayin jade,

Does forgiving mean forgetting? This is where I'm confused.

A Christian therapist who was also pastor, I saw years ago, told me forgiveness is not about forgetting a debt. It was in reference to forgiving someone for abusing me. He said just because you forgive doesn't mean you have to forget. He told me because if you forget then you can't protect yourself against abuse in the future.

Not certain if this topic belongs here.

A Christian brother owes my husband and I money for equipment he borrowed and subsequently got stolen out of his van. This man has repeatedly told us he would take care of it and pay us for the stolen equipment. This has gone on (on and off contacting us) now since 1996. Now I wonder, in the back of my mind, did he ever intend to pay us back. Every time I contact him he has either forgotten about it or says he will pay us soon.

I'm confused about what to do in this situation. I've prayed about it. I prayed for the man. I've called him and talked about it. And it's the same story again and again. "I'll pay you in a month or so." Never happens.

The man is a part time pastor at a well-known church in his city. He used our equipment to start a ministry and a business. Both are successful. So money isn't a problem.

The definition of propaganda is:

It is chiefly a derogatory term.

Information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view.

The dissemination of propaganda as a political strategy: the party's leaders believed that a long period of education and propaganda would be necessary.

ORIGIN
Italian, from modern Latin congregatio de propaganda fide ‘congregation for propagation of the faith’

American English Thesaurus:

the prophetic novel is about a government that controls the masses by spreading propaganda: information, promotion, advertising, publicity, spin; disinformation, counter-information; historical agitprop; informal info, hype, plugging; puff piece; the big lie.

British English Thesaurus:

regulations restricting political propaganda were relaxed: information, promotion, advertising, advertisement, publicity, advocacy; spin, newspeak, agitprop, disinformation, counter-information, brainwashing, indoctrination, the big lie; informal info, hype, plugging.

On 11/13/2016 at 9:21 AM, markdohle said:

I guess when it comes in a soft, gentle nudge, I follow the prompt, if it is demanding, or anxious, I take it to come from me, part of my OCD I guess and ignore it.

Thanks for sharing.

Peace
mark

I respond to both types of nudges from God. The very first time I heard from the Holy Spirit, I was in church for only the third time in my life. I was in a prayer vigil for a man who had a surgery coming up. The Holy Spirit started with a soft whisper in my ear. Of course being a new Christian, three weeks old, I doubted what I was hearing. So I waited. And soon that little nudge because a loud voice in my ear I couldn't deny I was hearing. I finally raised my hand and said what heard the Lord saying to pray for the man.

The pastor of that church doubted that I had heard from the Holy Spirit. And to take whatever I said with a grain of salt, because I had been a Christian for only three weeks.

Two weeks later, the wife stood up in church and testified that I indeed had heard from the Holy Spirit. A potentially fatal infection had been thwarted through the word I had spoken.

I used to have extreme PTSD and that included anxiety. As I healed from childhood abuse, those symptoms dissipated. Though I still have anxiety here and there.

My prayer for my PTSD, from the time I first became a Christian, has always been; Lord heal me in Your way and Your time. I've had faith in Jesus that He would do exactly that. I've accepted that I may have to live with some after effects of what occurred years ago. I still can't get some images out of my mind no matter what I pray. At least they're not as intense as before.

And this last summer I discovered some of my anxiety was due to food allergies. Never knew food allergies could cause anxiety.

I'm an avid researcher. That goes hand in hand with being a writer.

It appears this complaint is common on the Microsoft forum. I found a discussion on the disappearing scroll bar with solutions. There were a couple of solutions.

1. One was using FireFox instead.
2. Another other was software called Move Mouse and it's free.
3. Next was using the touch pad to pull up the mini scroll bar. However, most people said that was an annoyance though.