Lizam

January 28, 2018

New Member

My mother in law for years have been so rude to me and very nasty she finds ways to belittle me and does it many times when no one sees. Example turn her back to me when speaking with her, if I give her anything she washes her hands immediately after, pretends like she doesn't understand what I am saying, and what annoys me some of my other in laws are doing it to. And worse part is I am pregnant. I feel as if some of my inlaws have such a hatred towards me that I am not even having a baby shower. I am having a small gathering after baby is born.

I don't return offense with offense I just stay away from them and don't visit as often when I do I talk and communicate cArefully. I feel like I am truly wrestling with a spirit. I have done nothing to these people. I am happy for this experience though because I have a toddler and I believe God is showing me not to trust my toddler around them nor my baby once I give birth.

What should I do different I pray about this often. Some of my inlaws treat me like I am scum and I do not trust them with my kids. And my husband has poor judgment and doesn't believe me so I no longer trust him to bring my kids there by himself. help!

July 14, 2017

In the beginning of my marriage and while I was dating I was around my In laws often. But after marriage things got so toxic. My brother in law and sister in law for years was rude would not return calls or messages. Not even to make play dates. My mother in law goes out of her way to ignore me and be rude to me.

I don't want to sound judgemental but my husbands family is unstable for the following reasons below and because they have been so rude to me I stay away and don't trust them to even baby sit my child

Mother may have a mental illness due to language barrier I wasn't able to detect it before but now I see her behavior and etc over the years she may suffer from personality or mental disorder. She is rude and very belittling and I don't like being around her

father has MAjor depressive disorder and is impulsive blames me when his son can't or won't give him money every time he asks

Sister has molested all 3 of her brothers my husband included. My toddler does not go around her. She has some sort of personality disorder too

one of his brothers is a drug dealer and doesn't care to come around his brother my husband and never met my child who is a toddler although we live in the same city?

other brother claims to be a Christian but is a trouble maker spreading gossip about me to mutual friends and his family

he does have nice family members but because of those things above I have stayed away I do want my child to know his inlaws but because of the above I stay away.

my child goes around them once every 2 months or so.

what would you do in my situation

March 15, 2017

Thank you both. Yes I do not trust him. He lied alot and I just can not believe he can say to my face that he wasnt sure if he wanted to be married. I think he is crazy and did not or does not really love me. We will separate for right now. I do not see him as being repetent and I have a feeling unless he changes and becomes honest he will repeat it again.

March 14, 2017

8 hours ago, Davida said:

Sorry for your grief and all that betrayal. Is your husband Christian? do you both attend a Church? I cannot give you encouragement that you seek with any personal experience with this that resulted in renewed marriage. I would say it probably can happen but it is the exception as the party that committed adultery needs to fully assume responsibility for that & admit it , with a sincerely repentant heart to GOD and to their spouse. Only then would there be evidence of a change of heart and the re-commitment to the marriage & a faithful life. That is a lot of history of lying , sneaking and unfaithfulness. The trust has been broken & that is very hard to repair without the admonition of their actions and showing commitment to change. The Bible tells us that although God hates divorce , adultery is an acceptable reason to get a divorce if the spouse does not repent. Seek professional marriage & or individual counseling and be in constant prayer about this , asking from your Pastor for confidential prayer & biblical counsel too or a recommendation of someone? so you can receive the support you need. If your spouse does not want to be married and faithful - God would not want you to suffer in that type of continual betrayal. You can only save the marriage if both parties are committed. Know that GOD loves you , wants the best for you and seek a closer relationship with the Lord Jesus in this time and HE will see you through and be your anchor in a stormy sea- that I can tell you from experience. When problems arise go to the Bible , go to the Lord and HE will be a shelter & a guiding light for you. You need to find Christian support & edification where you live. God bless you.

Btw, his little dream about the woman & God mentioning her name 3X --Nonsense-- Our Heavenly Father GOD would not tell a married man to go to another woman - he is deceived and showing himself weak, immoral and lacking in character.

Thank you that text message about the dream killed my spirit I cried and I still cry i can't believe he is a liar and so fake

March 14, 2017

I knew for a while almost a year something was up with my husband.

I met him a six years ago
and when we were engaged 5 years ago I saw that he was Facebooking his ex girlfriend asking her how she was doing and etc. I confronted him about it he said he deleted her from Facebook and stopped messaging her.
A few months later I just happened to have a gut feeling and looked at his phone and he was still messaging her this time not on Facebook but via his phone.
A few weeks after that I found out he was facebooking a friend that he used to like he told me to meet her at a bar.

He begged me for forgiveness he wanted to get married he apologized and stated that he was thinking of his ex girlfriend because her mother died and for his family friend he wanted to innocently catch up with her.

I did so many things for this guy, helped him get his first apartment, his first teaching job, learn to drive, first car, and etc.

I fell for the excuses forgave him got married and now have a 2 year old son.

This summer he told asked me what would I do if he cheated? That I couldn't blame him. Something along those lines, I was shocked.

Then 2 months ago we bought a luxury car I wanted to drive it he stated that it is his car it is in his name why do I want to drive it. (CRAZY, I am his wife and mother of his son).

Fast forward to Feb/March 2017, this man posted seriously innappropiate photos of one his classmates, he is pursuing his masters, at her birthday party. I was disturbed by the photos and asked him to take it down he did not immediately; but several hours later after I asked multiple times he did. I was alarmed

A few days after that I got access to his phone and saw all the pictures on his phone and a video of the same girl and it was focused on her chest. My heart dropped I realized that he really did have a sexual attraction to this person and probably had sex with her.

The NEXT day I went into his phone again and saw text messages to another woman this time his coworker. about 30-40 text messages a day, asking her what she wanted for breakfast, her favorite foods, that he had a dream about her, quoting scriptures, saying that he would pray for her.(Stuff he doesn't do for me). He doesn't even want to go to church or pray or read the bible with me. What really got me is that he told her that he had a dream about her that God stated her name 3 times.

I was and still am very upset I feel betrayed, we are in counseling he admitted that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be married since the summer time and that is when his coworker was first hired.

I don't trust him. I did alot for him, when I met him he was working part-time renting a room and I did everything for him becuase I loved him and now within 5 years he is a teacher, in masters program, went from renting a room to an apartment, and owning a house, knows how to drive and etc.

I am not the type to clean up a man and etc, but I fell in love with him and my gift is organization and etc. I thought I would spend the rest of my life with someone who was committed and loyal to me. When we were engaged he showed me that he wasn't but I fell for the apology. Now we are married and I clearly see that he most likely had sex and that he is a PHONY.

I am so conflicted I am a Christian and wanted to be married for life. Has anyone here forgiven their husband and/or significant other and they have changed and you lead a good life.

The lying and the phoniness scares me to death it is so scary and I feel like he has had sex with another person and I am so scared what my life has become.

March 14, 2017