Gemstone777

That's true! We must extend mercy because we also need and want it.

Neighbor, I'm glad you could share your personal experience here. I'm also glad you see a real problem here. We surely can not base everything on our feelings, or they would lead us astray. However, when our views are aligned with God's that's a good thing. I too have some of those precious people in my life, those rare gems it seems that are hard to find. I keep them very close and cherish those relationships. They are God sent to help me go this life so I don't have to do it fully alone. I know all we truly need is Jesus, but blessings of true friendship I believe are His gifts to us in this world. You're right about the Psalmists. That's a good point. I'm also reminded of Jeremiah (The Weeping Prophet,) and Job when he lost everything. They poured out their heart before God, and in their loneliness is where they became even more intimate with God. Accountability partner is a wonderful thing. True community can be found in small groups, Bible studies, prayer groups, etc., but that doesn't always happen. Sometimes those groups only scratch the surface too. They are very good real solutions, and I appreciate them! One can still be lonely in serving Christ. Again I say if you are always pouring into others and not having your pitcher replenished, you can reach burnout. Christ is the answer for everything! He is our best friend, or should be! He fills the loneliness that others can't fill! Basically, God is good! I really enjoyed reading your post! I wish you many blessings!

Thanks for sharing your personal journey! I love hearing people's faith stories as it reminds me of Pilgrim's Progress how we are all on a journey. I definitely think as my dad would say, "Tend to you own," meaning we need to focus on ourselves first. I do think there are issues that grieved Jesus when He was here, and I also think they should grieve our hearts too. God is far more merciful with us than we are with each other, hence where love is lacking. You made some good points! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Hi Willa! I appreciate your time and thoughts. I agree with some of what you're saying. Actually, my question is about love for everyone, not just me. This isn't fully about me and my needs, but the lack of love I am seeing overall that should be evident in true believers. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way, many others have confided that in me also as I do discipleship and lay counseling. I was being very raw and vulnerable in sharing my thoughts, and this was only my 2nd post on this site. You have to post 3 to get into chat, and that's what was on my heart at the time. I had no clue people were going to jump on my comments and dissect them like they did, lol. I agree, love and forgiveness are beautiful things that we should all desire to do. Yes, we're called to love the unlovable, and I sure do try. I don't actually push people away, it was more a wishful thought in my head caused by the lack of love that I see. I am a very loving person, I can love anyone, even random strangers that's why love is so important to me. I think communicating this way and not being able to see people's hearts, or not knowing people can lead to a lot of assumptions. Tone, meaning are not always clear. Know what I mean? I only desire the things that God does, and desiring love for the universal body of believers is not wrong. I do expect mistreatment and rejection by the world, but I differ from you as I think we should expect genuine love by our brothers in Christ. 1 Peter 1:22 Since you have purified your souls by obedience to the truth, so that you have a genuine love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from a pure heart. Sure nobody's perfect and we shouldn't expect perfection, but believers are to exhibit the fruits of the Spirit. This is not judgment, or at least not mine, but it's God's commandments to Christians. I agree we should be an example to less mature Christians, but I'm not only speaking of immature Christians lacking love. You will have to look at some of the examples I will post later to explain what I mean. I also don't agree that when we are hurt it's the old man hurting. Jesus was like us in every way and knew hurt and pain. He cried when Lazarus died (John 11), He cried tears of blood in the garden before going to be crucified (John 11:35), and there are other examples of where He had great sadness and tears (all associated with hurt) and He was the only perfect being that ever walked the face of the Earth. Romans 12:15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Clearly the Lord demonstrates compassion for others and approves of weeping, a response to the emotion, sadness, that He created in us. Also, we don't want to be like Job's comforters lacking compassion as he refers to them as "sorry comforters" in Job 16:2. I think hurt can be pride, but it is not always, and that's not a fair judgment unless one knows a person's heart. The Bible tells us in 1 Samuel, "For the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." The only person's heart we truly know is our own. We can however form our opinions based upon the tree a fruit bears Matthew 7:16 (You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles?" I think that requires a lot of balance to see things clearly and a lot of discernment from the Lord. The Christian life is definitely not easy! I've been walking it for 30 some years, and I don't think it gets easier as you get older, maybe harder, lol. Thanks for the good discussion. It seems you desire God's ways too, and that is what's most important! Have a blessed day!

Sojo!!! You commented on my post before I got to know you in chat, that made me smile! I hope you're having a good day, and I've enjoyed getting to know you and the others there! Man, you people comment fast, and I can't keep up with responses to this chat! lol I do fellowship with people, and I love them. I do think relationships within the church can often be surface (How's the weather? How are you?, etc.,) and not move to the deeper level which I desire, authenticity. But sometimes I have observed flat out nastiness and the opposite of love. It's not even always directed at me, but other people that become deeply wounded, some even get out of church. Not trying to be mean/judge anyone, but just a truthful observation. I will provide examples in a later post responding to someone elses comments. Actually the increased violence, wickedness, and lack of love shows me that we are growing closer to the End Times. Although those things don't make me happy, it does make me cry, "Come Lord Jesus, Come!" I love your neon sign/blinking lights idea, you should take that up with God as it would be most helpful! I'm not really aggressive with people. I love people! I just was being vulnerable and sharing my heart. Gentle believers are great, but I don't even mind the bold ones cause God made us all different. I just desire to see more authentic love in the body. It can be lonely, but God always provides! Thanks for listening, caring, praying, and responding! I appreciate you!

You got that right Mike! I agree, the distance thing doesn't work, I just meant it sounded nice! I do love people, even the unlovable ones. Sometimes I'm actually drawn to them because sometimes that's because they're hurting, and they need love the most! Giving love actually comes easier for me than some. My real name means love. That's why I think it's so hard for me to see love lacking where it should be the greatest, withing the church, true believers! I'm not saying that all Christians are unloving, I've been blessed to know many that are full of love! None of us have arrived, and we all can grow even more in love. This is not meant to be a criticism, more of an observation and reflection. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

I will try to respond to you soon for those that have asked questions of my statements. I am not ignoring you, but I've not been on the forums every day. Your patience is appreciated.

Hi Redemption, I think there is a misunderstanding that if people are outgoing, social that they can easily make deep friendships. Many people are drawn to this personality type, but it can lead to a lot of surface relationships with many people and not the deep, authentic relationships that I desire. In essence it equals lots of acquaintances but very true friends. By the way, my husband and others tell me that I don't know a stranger, so it's not for me lacking investing in others and showing them love. Also, what I didn't share previously is that I've had many years of chronic health issues (nearly 20 years) that have gotten progressively worse, so I'm not always healthy enough to be out of the house as much. Being kept inside more often (I am an outdoor person,) further makes the hermit a more easy possibility. It's not just singles or introverts that have trouble making friends. I do have some extra challenges with my health, and not having kids. Most people my age have kids and some are even starting to have grandchildren. To me though, in the body of Christ are marital status, age, race, etc. shouldn't matter because we have the most important thing in common (Christ) that should bond us together. I also think that although we have quick access to people through internet, cell phones, and social media that people are less connected on a deeper level, or at least that has been my experience. People tend to keep themselves very busy too and don't always make the time needed to develop deep relationships. Also, My church is a predominantly elderly, and a conservative church and I'm in my early 40's. Although I don't mind fellowship with people of all ages, some people only wish to hang out with people their own age. People also have already established friendships, and when you're the new one to your church (less than 2 years,) it's hard to find where you fit in. My church is a Bible believing church, and friendly, just hard to make deeper relationships. I wasn't specifically referring to my church, but the Universal Church of all Christ followers. I'm not looking for a church just to meet my needs, but church in part is for the edification of the saints, and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be encouraged, supported, and loved. I serve and use my gifts, and I do it without expecting anything in return. We are like pitchers though, and if we are constantly pouring into others without our pitchers being replenished, we can run dry and then be no good for service to the Lord and others. By the way, my husband was a pastor, so I am formerly a pastor's wife and know all about servitude and what is required. I agree that some churches can draw people as more of a social club and for wrong motives. It's not a wrong motive to want to be deeply connected to your brothers and sisters in Christ. It's not a wrong motive to want all believers to be a loving, holy example to a dark world that needs to see the love of Jesus in all of us. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Steven, Thank you for your heart felt insight. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. Yes, few find the gate. I think that brings up another challenge that the lack of love sometimes exhibited in our churches create. We are to test the spirits (1 John 4:1) to know if they are of God or not. When people are not loving to others within the church is it a spiritual maturity issue, are they non believers "wolves in sheep's clothing," (Matthew 7:15,) etc. Then it becomes hard to distinguish who your true brothers and sisters in Christ are. I don't expect people to be perfect, we all make mistakes...even the most mature believers do. Desiring people to be authentic and loving (the greatest 2 commandments...God and others) is obviously of the utmost importance and I think that's a good expectation/standard to have. John 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. You said in your above post, "When this relationship is what it should be we are complete in Him and are not dependent upon others in anyway in said completion." I don't think wanting others to be loving makes us dependent upon them. Desiring people to be loving is what God desires of them and us. Not liking what sin has done to the world (lack of peace, love, unity, etc.) should make all believers sad, as I am sure it does our Father. Hebrews 10:38 is a good reference to not give up. I don't plan on it! Galatians 6:9 is another good one... Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Just because I "feel" like being a hermit doesn't mean I will, but honestly sometimes I want to. I was made for another world, this is not my home, and just thinking out loud I guess. Some things you said that I really liked is that the Holy spirit realigns motives is our hope, that our relationship with the Father/Jesus/Holy Spirit is priority, it will cost us a lot just like it did our Lord, and not to give up! Love in Christ, Gem

Very true! I am an optimist, and I guess it's just hard to see the lack of love, especially in our churches. Thanks for sharing!

"You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden." - Matthew 5:14 But God loves me, and He loves you too. Thank God! I agree about loving the unlovable, and I do try to treat the people that are unloving with love. I definitely don't want to repay evil with evil. (Romans 12:17; 1 Peter 3:9) Just because others actions make me "feel" like being a hermit doesn't mean I will or keep my love from others. Thanks for the Matthew 5:14 reference! But Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls where there is not another to lift him up. We were created for relationships, and we need authentic friendships. In the church it is sometimes much harder than it should be to establish these kind of relationships and that is the issue I am bringing to light. If someone is your enemy/unlovable yes we are still supposed to love them, but that doesn't mean include them as a close friend. Our brothers/sisters in Christ are supposed to be our "family." If they are unloving, unkind, and not supportive it's hard to establish genuine, close relationship with them. This is a real problem in our churches, and I'm looking for real solutions. I believe this is serious because it hinders non-believers from wanting to accept Christ, and it causes a lot of hurt and sometimes even disunity in the body of believers. Thank you for reminding me that God loves me! Yes He does! All of this has made me much closer to Him, so that's a positive. Thanks for sharing your heart!

Yes, I think that is exactly what we are seeing. I definitely think it applies. Thanks for the reminder!

That is very true. Selfishness is the enemy of loving. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.

Thank you for your reply. I understand they are human. I understand we all need forgiveness and we must be merciful to others because we need mercy extended to us. When do you say this is not how things should be, and stop tolerating unrepentive sinfulness that is damaging to unity, growing in maturity, and furthering the Gospel? I've heard non-believers say that how some Christians have treated them, or observations of how they treat each other makes them want no part in it. I know for some that is probably an excuse, but for others it's turned them off to Christianity.

I'm a social, outgoing person. I used to find it easier to make friends. I'm finding it harder to find loyal, loving, genuine friendships as I get older. This is making me want to pull away from others and become a hermit. I know God has called all of us to love others, and I do, but I want to love them from a distance. I see the ugliness in the world, and it makes my heart sad. I don't see how truly loving believers can treat people the way they sometimes do. I want to continue to love others, but I don't want to allow others to hurt me, or watch them hurt others. Some wisdom, Scriptures, and prayers would be most helpful, thanks!