peeday

Hi. From your story, i can tell that the only reason you have stayed in this relationship is because you love him but really love alone just don't do. Love is not a guarantee to a successful relationship/marriage, knowledge and compactibility is. You have just this life, no one should make you feel less of a human all the time, Life itself is too short to be anything but happy. Do yourself and kids a favor, get away from this marriage. God is not against divorce, he is only against what divorce does to us. I don't care what anyone thinks but i am sure you too deserve to be happy. It is not going to be easy but you will be grateful you did. I don't know what else to say to you but i wish you never go through this pain even for another minute. Take charge of your life now. Pardon my punctuations and grammer. English is not my first language. Shalom.

We having to resort to the mysteries of faith and noting that God's ways are not our ways. Did we really have answers or just the faith that there are answers somewhere even if we cannot understand them or do not have access to them? i think when reason,logic and evidence are not working, we have to appeals to faith. Heb 11:1; Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This sounds profound but it is becoming groundless wish-fulfillment. As the saying goes, it is said that faith moves mountains but experience shows bulldozers are more effective. Faith would come into play only after the knowledge of his existence and chatacter For example, the simple act of sitting in a chair since we cannot know for sure that the chair will not break this time, is an act of faith, but that is an act of faith as going just a bit beyond the evidence taking the evidence a little bit further but in the same direction. The chair has always worked before, it feels structurally sound as I pull it from the table, its legs are all there and still attached and I see no evidence that it will no longer work as it has. So I conclude from the evidence that the chair will work. I have faith, a faith that takes the evidence a bit further in the direction it points. Appealing to God is suppose to get around the problem because God is the ultimate "Why" behind everything. And even if it is a mystery to us, even if we do not understand the "Why" at least we have the "Why". If God doesn't need a " why" behind him, then why would the physical universe need a "why" behind it?. Christainity is supposed to be what provide this life with meaning, isn't it? But it feels like it can no longer account for, contain, embrace, my experiences and reality and life as I see it. With all my heart, I had felt Christianity was the only way to make sense of the world. It does seem that this fantastically marvelous universe, different kind of animals, the different planets, all the atoms and so on, all this complicated thing can merely be stage so that God can watch humans struggle for good and evil.

Some people say that this is the wrong way to look at prayer, and it's like a *conversation.* But conversations require actual communication. Sitting around silently *feeling the presence* or someone or something isn't adequate communication really.. Even distant acquaintances do better. You understand right?

Does he handle our emotions- He gave them to us right? Our Anger, doubt, fear, questions, grief and even complains.? Does he just let one go? You understand what I mean right? Job 7 vs 11 TEV“I can't be quiet! I am angry and bitter. I have to speak.”Previously, the answer to the problem of God feeling distant was to spend more time in prayer and reading the Bible. If you feel distant from God, the saying went, guess who moved? Well this time I get the feeling that God had done the moving.Why does reading the Bible seem like it is harming my faith more than it was helping and even prayer is becoming more of a problem than a solution . Previously, spending more time in prayer made me feel closer, Now, however, I find myself shortening prayer sessions, lest I do more damage to my faith. The longer I am praying, the more I feel like I am talking to the ceiling or myself. Many a times, I am like, OK God, I have had enough, when are you going to stop pouring it on.!? If you can't take better care of us, why should we bother following you? I QUIT.But then again, I am crying and begging him to not leave me, to help and then after like a mood swing I am like No he is not listening. We are afterall not equal in his sight, he is got preferences. Forgive me people, I know I am complaining too much, But this feeling. THIS FEELING. Wouldn't he just say something, just anything at all. He speaks right? I just need to feel him somehow, you know what I mean, don't you? You know how you feel when you talk to a friend about a thing and the relieve that follows? Then how much more a father but why wouldn't he just say something or do something. Just a conviction somehow. I wish you understand what I mean. You do right? You do understand what I mean somehow right? Yes you do. Then Why God wouldn't just budge you know. I am not sure what to say no more. how do you pray?

A fool said the kingdom of God is meant for the whites... He even quoted scripture that is face shone like the sun. Please i want to ask is the sun white? What an illiterate! He said heaven is not made for blacks but whites. The bible did not make emphasis if Jesus was black or white because God knows we humans will capitalize on it. Please God is not a racist! Note most bible event happened in africa.

how can God be a jealous God and a God of love when the Bible says that love is not jealous?

Yea. I am

I am stronger than I thought.

We are somewhere for now, the church will attend wouldn't be able a place we can go

I am still here

Broken, incomplete, abandoned, alone, terrified, frustrated, depressed. The idea of getting on my knees is laughable. How can he allow me to fall so low, yet again... Night terrors... if someone reads me another scripture.. or tells me how much He loves me.. I will shudder. this is not a life worth living. I am tired reading God's promises, it hurts even more. He has deceived me. I am done. I might be gone even before you get the chance reply this post. I know my family loves me but I can't see them suffer no more. Time heals, they will move on at some time. I just can't do this no more. THIS IS THE END..

Broken, incomplete, abandoned, alone, terrified, frustrated, depressed. The idea of getting on my knees is laughable. How can he allow me to fall so low, yet again... Night terrors... if someone reads me another scripture.. or tells me how much He loves me.. I will shudder. this is not a life worth living. I am tired reading God's promises, it hurts even more. He has deceived me. I am done. I might be gone even before you get the chance reply this post. I know my family loves me but I can't see them suffer no more. Time heals, they will move on at some time. I just can't do this no more. THIS IS THE END..

Trouble suffocates me. Worry entangles me. By night I can't sleep, by day I can't rest. The burden of suffering is intolerable. Where is God? Does He know, or are my prayers heard only by the wall? Is He near, or somewhere distant, only watching?If It hurt enough to ask such questions, don't I deserve an answer.Some people think that I don't. I'm sick, dying and have been deserted, they try to shush me. Their intentions may be good, but they are hard to bear. "Don't question God's ways; He might hear you." In my cry of anguish, don't I want Him to hear me? "It's probably for your own good." If I'm to be tormented for my own good, don't I get a say in the matter? "I'm sure there's a good reason." No doubt there is, but did I ask for a philosophical explanation? What I asked is "Where is God?"Even worse are the people who say, "You're being unfair to God. It isn't His fault. If He could have kept your trouble from happening, He would have, but He couldn't. God is just as helpless as you are, and He weeps to see your sorrow." No. If God is really God, then He could have stopped it; if I'm suffering, then He could have stopped it but didn't. I may be baffled by Him, I may be frustrated by Him, but the God I want to hear from is the God who rules the world. I'm not interested in a God who is "not responsible."Has God forgotten me? Does He hate me? Why does He seem to hide Himself? I am weary of my comforters, tired of His defenders. I want God to answer me in person. If only I could state my case before Him and hear His answer!I wish I could say I believe in Jesus and that he loves me, but I no longer believe that. I've been through a lot of tragedy and now I find myself wondering if God even exists. If God loves me, why doesn't he show it?I'm So Tired Of Struggling, I have been poor my whole life. i often feel like i don't fit in. Everything i see, read , or hear about is geared towards the middle or upper classes . The working poor are simply ignored.I moved out on my own at 20 years old due to a bad family situation. Now at the verge of dropping out of school. Want to study but can't concentrate I have, at times , resorting to selling my possessions and even blood to feed. Being so broke often compromises my ideals. There's no room for ideals in my checkbook.. I 'm tired of struggling just to get by. Life Sucks being broke... Being dealing with suicidal thoughts for days now as my family has been thrown out of the house cos we cannot afford the rent no more, Mom is unwell and my kid brother have to drop out of school. I think God has got preference, I just want to end it now. I can't take anymore of this suffering.