Hello everybody,
for last year i have been struggling with questions about God, if he is or not. I was always afraid of my sins, to be honest wit you,that sin was watching pornography. 2 weeks ago i felt so guilty that i watched porn and asked God like always for forgiveness. I said to myself, that if i do this sin one more time, God will punish me, that i will live terrible life and get sick and die in that case he really exist.
First i feel extremly bad for doubting Gods existence and for second i am so afraid, anxious, that he will punish me how i said if he really exist. I believe that God exist or it gives me hope in life. No i dont know really what to do. If i will be happy now and live good life, is that sign that God doesnt exist or that he had forgoten my sin even tho i promised him that i wont do that sin again and i did it. Also i come from middle Europe family, which is not Christian family. But I try to find purpose of life and feel like God really exist.
It is possible that God will forgive me even tho I have promised him not doing that sin again. Because if he don't punish me, it could mean two things: 1. There is no God, but I don't think so. 2. There is God and he had forgotten me that sin even i did it again although I had promised him not to do it again.
What do you think about this. I really need help I can not think about something else, it makes me anxious and not able to enjoy life. I will be so grateful for every answer I will get.
