worriedwife69

LIfe this past couple years has been extremely difficult with a lot of trials. Started back in 2019 when my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. He had surgery and chemo and so far he is clear but upcoming scans next month always pose severe anxiety. With that and so much death around us lately I have been extremely afraid of death. Who may die around me, pain, suffering. I know that is what is it on this side of heaven but I can't help but feel so afraid, I feel like I'm waiting for the next person, or my husband to have another health issues as he has many. I don't know what to do, I pray and cry out to God so much and it does help and I know he is my strength but I still can't get over this feeling of anxiety and worry.

12 hours ago, ayin jade said:

I do rejoice, especially when I feel whiney about the new me.

Thank you, I am so thankful that we were lead to a new doctor or the cancer never would have been found. I am thankful he had surgery to remove it, but it's hard to not let that fear go that there is a fairly high chance it can return or come back some place else. He was not able to to one of the chemos due to the severity of the nerve damage it could cause and he already had nerve issues. My husband didn't think quality of life with the chemo and not being able to use his hands or walk was a risk he wanted to take.I know it's all in God's hands and there are so many things I am thankful for.

13 hours ago, JohnD said:

I have prayed for you.

Thank you so much!

6 hours ago, ayin jade said:

Oh hon, I know how it is. I just went through cancer treatment myself. The Lord showed me the tumor and it was caught very early but oh how I know the nervousness wondering if it will return. I too have nerve damage in my hands. I lack fine motor control in my fingers. At this point I cant even open the front door by myself. And my feet, like floppy dead fish. I have balance issues. My husband does not work at this time as I cant quite be left on my own yet. He is older and we wonder if he will be able to get a job again in his field. Finances are a concern too. So I understand all you are worried about. 

All you can do is trust in the Lord that He will see you through this. 

Praying for you.

I'm so sorry about your cancer as well. Will you nerve damage come back? We have heard some can some may be permanent and if it does it takes a long time. It's just so hard to know if it's from the chemo or not. I am so sorry for what you are going through, I can't imagine. I just know that my husband will not deal with it well if he can't use his hands or if he can't walk well. I am scared He has an appointment with his neurologist this week. please pray for good answers and something that will give him hope. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers for your situation. I had to go back to work because we couldn't afford for me to remain off any longer. I work from home but it's hard sometimes when he isn't in a good mood that I have to be here and listen to it but I remain hopeful and positive and have faith Jesus is at work in his and my life. Thank you

2 hours ago, marvelloustime said:

I’m so sorry you and your husband are going through such a difficult and uncertain time.

I have kept you in my prayers ever since you posted your prayer requests.

Praise Jesus that your husband has finished his treatment, but everything is still worrying for you.

I’m not going through what you are, but from someone who is going through a horrible time at the moment, we are both in a storm, just a different ocean.

Even on days when we can’t feel it, Jesus is right by the side of us. We know this because He reiterates this over and over in the bible, because He understands that we are fragile and weak, so we need constant reassuring that He never leaves us.

We don’t know the future, but Jesus does. And He is in complete control, even when it feels like He isn’t. Nothing surprises Him, like it does us.

I thought of a scripture to post here. And then amazingly, when I went to the website to copy and paste it, the same scripture happens to be their “verse of the day!”. So this is for you:

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
 

Jesus also tells us not to worry about tomorrow, as tomorrow will worry about itself.

I know it’s not easy. I am fighting hard to keep my thoughts fixed on Jesus and not my circumstances, but Jesus is faithful and He will see us all through.

God bless you. Xxx 

I'm so sorry you are going through something right now. no matter what storm we are going through it's all difficult, I believe everyone has some kind of storm they are going through as we do not live in a perfect world. Hope you can stay near to God and thank you for your words of encouragement

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I worry more not only for his salvation but just his declining health and what it will do to him. He is not a positive person and that scares me. I know I need to rely on God and I do but it still his hard. It didn't help today at his chemo treatment, they had issues with his port and it ended up taking way longer and he was so frustrated, but he got there and got it done.

It's been awhile since I have posted. My husband will be completing his chemo for stage 3 colon cancer in 2 more weeks. Needless to say we are thrilled the end is here. However, this end is now causing a lot anxiety and fear knowing that we will have to live each day wondering if the cancer will come back or show up some place else. I know I need to put my faith and trust in God but it is still so consuming. Also dealing with my husband, his anger because of his medical issues has been difficult as well. During all of this he has had some nerve thing going on which is really frightening as it is causing tingling, weakness and numbness in his wrist and hand and now is feeling something in other hand. He is petrified which comes out in anger (not towards me just says a lot of stuff), the fear of losing mobility in your extremities is scary knowing you may not be able to work. Sometimes I feel like i cant handle this anymore prayers please for us

Thank you for asking, they actually have been on the higher side lately but we have been working on diet to lower it.  His moods have been like this since finding out about the cancer diagnosis, don't get me wrong I completely understand how difficult that time was for us. He has had a lot of different medical issues over the years and he just keeps getting something new, I understand the frustration but he just gets angry and the things he says scares me and I just don't ever know what to say or how to act especially when he says he's tired of all of it and he just wants to give up. I try to be encouraging and pray constantly for him. Its just hard.

Hello, since the last time I was on and updated, my husband had his scan which was good. Thank God!!! First of January he had to do his treatments for his neuropathy issue he has, it flared up again in mid Dec. So 5 days of that which put his chemo out going on 3 weeks now due to low blood count. It is difficult because he just wants to get them done. I made the decision to reopen my daycare Feb 3 knowing he would only have 2 more chemos left and now he is at 3 if he can go in Monday. His moods have been all over the place, one minute he seems happy then the next he is angry and is constantly saying he is so tired of all this stuff that keeps happening to him and doesn't want to deal with it all anymore. It is SO HARD to know what to say and do when he talks like that.

I am nervous reopening because there is that fear something will happen with his health again, which puts us, (me) in a position to have to make a decision to remain open or close again. One of us has to work and my income is more steady. Please continue to pray for us. His health, his attitude his salvation. Please pray for me, strength and to have faith. thank you

The Lord answered our prayers and the scan showed nothing, I was able to tell my husband that he answered the prayers of everyone who was praying for him. He didn't say anything so I am so thankful, I feel God is working in him.  

I wanted to drop in and say hi, things have been the same here. Husband is doing chemo although he decided to no do the second chemo, even at half the dose it caused a lot of unpleasant side effect for 2 weeks. I worry about that but I know it's not my decision and know God is the ultimate healer. He went in for a CT scan yesterday because he has been having low abdominal pain for a couple of weeks now and now the wait is very stressful as we go through this week and will know the results on Friday. I told him I am praying everything will be good and that nothing serious is going on. My question is what if my prayer isn't answered that way and something is going on, being that he already says God hasn't answered any of his prayers he will just say God didn't do anything for him again. How would I answer this for him? I mean I'm praying it will be answered and I can say God answered mine and everyone's prayers who are praying for him, I just don't know how I would respond. Please pray for him and the scan thank you

Well just another update. This is day 6 from his chemo and with this new chemo at half dose he has been very sick and has slept the majority of the time.  He doesn't want to do the second chemo anymore, I am torn on it. I pray that the right decision is made for him and praying heavily about all of it. I know no matter what God is the ultimate healer. There are a lot of literature that the second chemo drug is only a boost for the main one and it doesn't add a lot of percentage to survival. 

What we re really dealing with lately is my husband as I've mentioned is very up and down on moods, lately he really has been down and thinks it will come back anyways and will die from this eventually. Please pray for him and me as I never know what to say and still for his salvation.  thank you

Thank you for all of your prayers! Today he did his chemo and things have gone ok. He was pretty down like always while doing chemo and now he is home with the pump for 46 hours, he hates it but better than sitting there. Please pray that he (we) will make the right decision about one of the chemo drugs. Treatment is normally 2 different drugs, they have only been giving him one because the other one causes neuropathy and a majority of the time it can be permanent after a few treatments, and this can come on months after chemo has stopped. Since he has already struggled with neuropathy issues he is very worried about this second drug as it will really affect his quality of life, he would have difficulties working, walking ect. Please pray we will make the right decision on whether to continue or stop that one. Thank you

Hello everyone, I was wondering if I could get some prayers for this upcoming week. My husband is due for his 6th chemo treatment which means he is half way through, yay!!  He is feeling very discouraged because for some reason the last chemo was much harder on him than the rest, plus they are adding the other chemo drug that he was suppose to be getting from the beginning but due to some neuropathy he started having after his surgery they held off until they got it under control. So he is very worried about this new drug because it does cause a temporary neuropathy and worried he will feel even worse. He has been saying again that he doesn't want to do chemo so please please pray for him.. Thank you.

Thank you for all of your prayers, it means so much to me. This chemo treatment went with more ease. As we walked in to the clinic, his famous words he says every time was, I'm so tired of being here,(at the clinic), but he joked around with the nurses and it went really fast which that in itself boosted his mood. During the 2 days he has his pump buddy he was more relaxed and seemed to get through those days easier. He had a couple of bad days but never once did he complain or say he didn't want to do chemo anymore God is working, I know it! 

Thank you, I agree that I think sometimes it's due to just being in the moment of hurting and he doesn't mean what he says, however, there are times I think he doe mean it.  Pray pray pray is all I have been doing, for wisdom and strength. We do talk about how when he is done with chemo  he can start getting ready for dirt bike riding. That is his favorite thing to do. He still gets discouraged thinking he wont be able to do it again due bowel changes but I keep encouraging him that he will be able to again. I like when he does talk about next year I want to do this trail or show you that trail. So I hope he is encouraged. I am still praying for his salvation.

Thank you, I keep praying reading God's word but I think I'm letting all this fear get in the way even though I truly do trust God with all of this. This fear that he will stop chemo has really been something I just don't know what to think and I keep praying and praying and reading God's word for comfort. I know this is in God's hands. It does help to go back and read all of the comments on here. 

Thank you I really appreciate the encouragement and the stories. I think what I am struggling with the most right now is him saying he is going to stop chemo, I mean I don't know if I'm being selfish by saying that would be a stupid decision or not. I mean he has a very good prognosis, even with his being stage 3 colon cancer it can be cured, I know that that is not always the case but I just feel he is giving up and I honestly don't know how to deal with that. I keep praying for wisdom, strength and I just feel lost with this

3 hours ago, Coliseum said:

I am so very sorry to read the dilemma you are facing. I had Chemo too.

I recall two people, husband and wife, mountain climbing. They became lost and six days had passed, and they became almost delirious without water or food. They stumbled across a water hole, but the wife knew it was poisoned, and to drink from it would mean certain death. So she refused, but her husband decided to drink. In only hours, he succumbed, but his wife, laying down to accept what could have been her destiny, was saved by Indians who were tracking their footprints in the dirt. She was helped, and survived. 

Your husband needs hope of holding out, and you could be, with the words God's Spirit reveals to you, that constant encouragement he needs. The message here, sister, is not to give up---not to ever give up! 

Thank you! I do encourage him constantly and I know that being his wife I am going to hear his emotions more than anyone else, it just hurts to hear him say those things. I know that it is nothing to do with me but when you are sick constantly 2 full weeks out of a month and feeling only ok the other 2 I see how he must feel. I just honestly don't know if he will give up on it or not and take the chance. I don't know what I will do if he does, how we would tell our kids all of that goes through my mind. I am praying for words of wisdom to speak to him. Thank you for the story.

I really appreciate everyone's encouraging words. I need it every single day. I come back and reread when I'm really feeling alone, stressed and scared. 

Husband just had his 3rd round of chemo and he is really struggling with it.  I know he feels awful and I know I truly don't know how he feels just know by what others say about it and I know it's bad. Lately my fear is that he will not finish chemo, he keeps saying he doesn't want to do it anymore. Am I wrong to be angry with him having those thoughts? I mean it can be life or death, he just keeps saying he's so tired of feeling sick all the time and doesn't think he can make it the whole six months. He also says there is no guarantee that it wont come back even with chemo but I keep explaining he has a better chance but he's right we don't know. I'm so afraid if he chooses to stop. Praying a lot but I don't really know what is appropriate to pray for, him to make the best decision for him self? pray he will keep doing chemo? thanks again for all the encouraging words.

I tried posting in the prayer forum but I never saw my prayer there, but saw it under my profile. I'll try it again.

Thank you, great story!

I do have a question for anyone. So I always tell my husband I am praying for him and he doesn't usually say anything, which is actually a good thing. However, when things get bad, for instance when he got the cancer diagnosis and then the diagnosis got worse going from stage 2 to stage 3 he told me that prayer doesn't work, and said he didn't want anyone to pray for him anymore (I do not think he really meant it but he was scared at that moment) and that he prayed for his mom and dad yet they both still died. I have a hard time knowing what to say in these times. I mean I see to him how he thinks prayer isn't working but I explained to him  when his mom passed away, she was not a believer but when you brought the pastor in to sit with her those weeks she was sick she came to know the Lord, I said maybe at another time she wouldn't have. He never really said anything other than he wants to believe in God but is having a hard time. I just don't ever know what to say in those times. I always pray for the Lord to give me the words to speak and wisdom but I am still learning so much.

Thank you I really appreciate everyone responding and with encouragement. Jubilea you are absolutely right, I know that when he sees my fear and anxiety he's not seeing Christ. If I cry with him or just have a crying episode does that make me look weak to him? Does that make it seem I'm not trusting God to my husband? I am trying so hard every day to give it to Him. Thanks everyone

Helllo, I needed to come back for some encouragement so I was rereading the replies. These past couple of weeks have been very up and down. He has good days then a couple really bad days, mostly from chemo and just adjusting to other things from his surgery. I keep praying and praying and giving this to God and I want to I know He is the only one who can deliver me from my fears and anxieties but I still seem to always be so afraid and full of anxiety. I sit with the Lord and cry out to him, I just feel like I'm doing something wrong. I know in my heart God has control of this and I can't fix anything but here every day I struggle with actually doing this.

It is so hard on those difficult days he has how he feels like he's a hostage to his own home and can't even go anywhere and how he gets angry, i'm not used to that it scares me, I don't know how to react. I know he's hurting and hates what he is going through and I'm sure others have felt like giving up but I just don't know how to react it hurts, I pray. thanks for listening

I really appreciate the encouragement. Lately I feel like I just don't know how much more I can take. I'm trying to remain faithful and trust the Lord but when my husband is getting more angry and down about everything makes it so hard. He is literally starting to give up hope that anything will ever get better. I try to be encouraging but he thinks I'm only saying it. I do research after research to try and find things to help his symptoms he is having. I just don't know what to do, I keep praying and know God is here working even though I can't see it but it doesn't seem to make the day to day any easier. My anxiety is so bad lately.  I feel like I'm doing things wrong. Please pray for us.