Zurieldad

Agreed, PepperS.

Only one of the four families I mentioned brought the matter to the church leadership. The wife spoke with both the senior pastor and me (PepperS, I lead the men's ministry at my local church), as soon as she "had evidence" that her husband was being unfaithful, but after she had her suspicions. We confronted him but to no avail. The other families told no one of what was happening. In one family, the husband was being physically abusive but the wife took great effort in concealing it. In another family, even the wife had no idea what was happening: the husband came home one day and simply announced that he was done, and walked out. Fear of gossip and judgmentalness is legitimate. But these issues should be dealt with firmly by church leadership and the congregation as a whole. Gossip destroys. Being judgmental stifles. But once again, when we cower in an atmosphere of fear we let the Enemy have his way with us. I'm putting this out on a post in a forum not to whine or say "whoa to us", but to shine the light in a dark area of the church. If there is something, anything, that is growing in a dark area of one's life, expose it to The Light. That STARTS with prayer and confession to The Lord Himself; but it should not stay there. We then bring it to anyone we trust that will help take action. That action may not go far with the individual who chooses to reject fellowship and Godly discipline, but then again it might as in Matthew 18:16 and Galatians 6:1; but that action will certainly facilitate healing with the remaining members who choose not to live in darkness. The point of all this is: keeping secrets prevents the Body of Christ in taking healthy action to save a family - exposing the darkness INVITES The Body to touch the hand of the leper.

Amen, Yowm!

I think "difficult" is an understatement! But one does not have to stand up in front of an entire congregation to expose the darkness lingering in a family. If folks would just make someone aware - someone who is willing and able to confront, pray, guide, lead.. someone who is able and willing to be involved.

It has happened again. I have heard of yet another man who has professed Christ, who has been a member of the church, but has decided to walk away from his family. As I listened to the grieving adult child of this man, I heard yet again a story of destructive attitudes and behaviors that the men of this church knew nothing about; certainly I knew nothing about what was happening in this man's home. I have said "yet again" because this is the fourth man in a year's time that has decided the grass is greener elsewhere. Additionally, a woman came up to me after a recent Sunday service to ask me to pray for her adult son who is struggling with drug addiction. When I asked how long this has been happening, she replied that it's been years. Years?! Why are we just now hearing about it? This woman has sat in the chairs of this church every Sunday for a very long time. WHY are we just now hearing about this? And so, as is often my response to this sort of information, I started asking myself: why didn't I see this? Did I fail to be involved? Did I fail to reach out? How could I have been so blind? But then, as I shared these thoughts with the core circle of men to whom I hold myself accountable, my head began to clear and I realize that this really isn't about me or my failings. The Men of this church are very enthusiastic in inviting men to fellowship and into discipleship. We're active in serving the body as well as reaching out in service to others. These men who are straying are those who do not accept the invitations to be involved. But what about the other members of their families: the wives, children, parents and friends? Why haven't they said something before the crises reach a climax? And so I come to see once again what I've known for so long: secrets are the means the Enemy keeps us enslaved in our own prisons. 1 John 1:6, 7 and John 3:19-21 are very clear: we all have stuff going on in our heads and in our lives - STOP keeping it to ourselves! Too many of us are scared to expose our secrets for fear of being thought less "Christian". But according to those sited passages, being a follower of Jesus Christ requires us to bring our selves, faults and all, into the Light. Only then can our families and our churches survive the bloody onslaught from the Enemy.