lilpza

My relationship with God has been bad the past couple of years even though I have tried to work on it. I still want to. But I do believe he's in control of my life. Thank you for your advice. I have forgiven him recently. But I still can't keep up with him being normal and then switching to being abusive again.

Hi, I'm 20 years old and have been living in an emotionally abusive house all my life. My father is extremely unpredictable and manipulative. I have lost most of my friends because he would almost never let me go out with them. I was diagnosed with depression as a child at age 10 and had to start seeing a psychologist again last year. I finally built up the courage to walk away from home - talking to my father won't work because I have told him several times I want to move out in a very respectful way and he hasn't tried to help me once. When I arranged to look at flats in my area he got mad at me for wanting to move out after he said he supports my decision. All and any job interviews as well as study courses I have brought to him he turned down. I couldn't travel to the interviews myself and out of fear didn't ask someone else to take me. My brother sometimes helps me but my mom can't do anything for me because she gets all the blame no matter what. Like I said, I can finally move out soon but it will have to be on the same day my dad goes in for an operation to remove cancer. It's not fatal at all and a short operation. But of course he acts like it's a life or death situation. I don't know if what I'm doing is wrong and I need help. Just leaving without telling anyone will break my heart but I plan on leaving a note explaining everything in a calm manner. My brother knows and he supports my decision. But my parents don't and my dad will probably never forgive me. But I'm honestly only bothered about my mom. Because her and I are really close, as well as my brother and I. Sorry for the long message ?