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Found 14 results

  1. This is a very real problem. I cam accross this website in trying to help a friend. If you are going through this there is help. You are not alone! God bless, GE
  2. Hi there! I am going to start off by giving a bit of a backstory, and please hear me out by reading all of this because I am in dire need right now. I grew up in a lovely home with Baptist parents who attended church every Sunday. However, I hit very traumatic times at about 7 years old, and now I am 16, going on 17, and my life is healing from the trauma of divorced parents, dealing with calling defax on my own mother for emotional, verbal, and sometimes physical abuse, hating my father for years due to my mother calling him unworthy every chance she got- only to find that my father did everything he could to make me realize he meant no harm, and all the mental issues which came with these life experiences. Shortly after turning 12, four years into my nearly 10-year real-life conflict, I found myself falling far from God. Although I had become fully saved according to the Baptist faith and believed with all my heart that God was my savior and my all at age 10, I fell far from Him only two years later. Two years later, at 12, and hardly 12 at that, I text my friend late one summer night. "I don't know that I believe in God anymore," I sent her, crying my eyes out because all I needed right then was someone to pull me back to God and say that I needed to hold on. I desperately needed someone to grab my ears and pull me up saying, "Hello!! Jesus is alive! He is alive! And He loves you more than you'll ever comprehend!" But, the reality was far from this. My friend responds less than a minute later. "I am an Atheist." My heart dropped at the message. But... strangely enough, it later was found with relief. I felt ACCEPTANCE for falling from Him! It sounds crazy because it is. I researched for a long time, mainly in the wrong places, and I found myself to identify as an Atheist. This lasted for years, all the way until a month or so ago to be frank. I am going to be 17 in July and going into the 12th grade next year, and I believe this all happened in the summer of going into 6th or 7th grade, which would have put me at 11 or 12. So for 5, possibly 6, years I have been very lost and falling blind of God. I fell into believing I was transgender, from female to male, to believing I was gay and dating a girl almost a full year. Many, many tragic things followed this initial start of trauma when my parents got a divorce at 7 years old. Now, having all that said... I still feel a strong incomplete pit in my life, this being my relationship with God. I still question my sexuality today. I believe that being abused for all those years led me to believe I was homosexual because beforehand, I never EVER questioned my sexuality. I was your typical "boy-crazy" little girl who would go to their mom after school and say, "Guess what mommy! [Enter name here] talked to me today! I was so nervous!" I can tell you confidently now that I know I am a beautiful, straight female who deserves just as much as everyone else. In my heart, I feel that. However, I hesitate to answer so confidently in person because it takes denying my past conflictions to find my true self deep within me that, yes, I am that person. For a long time I denied this person that I was because of the many times my mother would tell me that I wasn't her daughter, I wasn't what she wanted, and I was a mistake through and through. I believe truly, within my heart, that abuse can cause lifetime problems such as this. Abuse, especially that in childhood, does not just affect your personality, your social life, and your way of coping with life situations. Abuse affects your lifestyle, your beliefs, and all the critical things of yourself. I am stuck. My ex-best friend and I started talking recently. We grew up together and shortly after I went from a true Christian to Atheist, we fell apart from one another. In the past month, we found each other via social media and I have come to find, not to my surprise, that she is still very faithful and connected to God. Even when we were little and very close, I was inspired by her connection with God and trust in Him, despite our different beliefs. She was raised Apostolic Pentecostal. I was raised Baptist. However, now that we have reconnected, I have caught her up with everything that happened to me in the past years that we haven't talked. She amazes me still at her immaculate trust in God. She is now involved in leading many youth groups to teach the Bible to younger kids, as well as attending her own youth group herself. This makes me intrigued in her beliefs since I am currently not under any official belief besides that in which God does indeed exist. My mother is not much in the picture anymore, so I have free reign to explore all sorts of Christianity that I please without fear of being bashed or shunned for doing anything other than Baptism. I have been looking into Apostolic Pentecostal all day, trying to actually understand what the belief is all about compared to Baptism, since that is what I know best, and it makes so much more sense to me compared to what I grew up with. Is there anybody who is an Apostolic Pentecostal that could please help guide me and help me in understanding the beliefs? I am very intrigued by this way of praise and church-going. So please, if you read all of this, which I hope you did because it contributes so much to my reasoning behind this, and you are an Apostolic Pentecostal, please give me information on your beliefs and ways of praising and keeping faith. I am finding God again, and I do not plan on losing Him this time. Not again.
  3. Hi, I'm 20 years old and have been living in an emotionally abusive house all my life. My father is extremely unpredictable and manipulative. I have lost most of my friends because he would almost never let me go out with them. I was diagnosed with depression as a child at age 10 and had to start seeing a psychologist again last year. I finally built up the courage to walk away from home - talking to my father won't work because I have told him several times I want to move out in a very respectful way and he hasn't tried to help me once. When I arranged to look at flats in my area he got mad at me for wanting to move out after he said he supports my decision. All and any job interviews as well as study courses I have brought to him he turned down. I couldn't travel to the interviews myself and out of fear didn't ask someone else to take me. My brother sometimes helps me but my mom can't do anything for me because she gets all the blame no matter what. Like I said, I can finally move out soon but it will have to be on the same day my dad goes in for an operation to remove cancer. It's not fatal at all and a short operation. But of course he acts like it's a life or death situation. I don't know if what I'm doing is wrong and I need help. Just leaving without telling anyone will break my heart but I plan on leaving a note explaining everything in a calm manner. My brother knows and he supports my decision. But my parents don't and my dad will probably never forgive me. But I'm honestly only bothered about my mom. Because her and I are really close, as well as my brother and I. Sorry for the long message 😂
  4. As a Catholic I am offended by the coverage of abuse only by the Catholic Church. Abuse is rampant in other churches https://www.star-telegram.com/living/religion/article222576430.html
  5. The senior leaders knew the abuse was going on: http://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/cwn/2018/august/former-vatican-envoy-pens-bitter-denunciation-letter-in-mccarrick-case And they made One a Cardinal... Lord Jesus, Come quickly! (Revelation 22:20) I believe these scandals could be part of the falling away from the faith (Matthew 24:10, 2 Thessalonians 2:3, 1 Timothy 4:1) and why Jesus says, “ tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?" (Luke 18:6). The RCC is 2.2 Billion and if many leave over dissilusionment, and if this trickles into other churches it could lead to massive fallout. Already I have seen Mexicans removing their rosaries from their cars and replacing them with plain beads. This could be part of the major falling away and distrust of the Church as whole that the Antichrist will use.
  6. This will be a long post as there is a lot going on in my life right now. For years I've been the victim of my husband's verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse. It has contributed to my PTSD which I got from extreme childhood abuse. Two weeks ago my husband decided to threaten me. He's threatened me before about various things. This time he hit me where it really hurts. Anything to do with death triggers me and then increases my PTSD. My husband knows I'm triggered by death. He threatened me with suicide if he doesn't get a puppy by July. I'm not quite ready for a puppy. One thing led to another and I took him to my therapy appointment. The whole session turned out to be all about my husband and his problems. I never asked for my therapist to step in and "take care of" my husband. The point was to address my husband's threatening behavior. Any time I attempted to say a single word, I was essentially told to shut up. She didn't say those exact words. I tried to comment on his threat to take his life and was told that I shouldn't taint our beautiful relationship with the one incident of abuse. When I first started seeing my therapist back in August of 2017 I attempted to tell her several times that my husband was a mental/emotional abuser. However she wanted to see this rosy picture of two vagabonds traveling all around the Pacific Northwest. Once, I tried to explain that I was coerced into moving to one place. My husband harped on me for nearly two weeks until I caved. I started to explain this to my therapist and she shut me down saying she only wanted to hear about my vagabond adventures. Every time I shared something she would bring me back to the topic thus silencing me. She's even told me she thought he was a saint to put up with me and my PTSD. This whole way in which she created a false narrative of my life in her head is what she then based our appointment on this last Thursday, 8 March 2018. Half way through the appointment she sensed something else was going on, and yet she never stopped the conversation between her and my husband. And she continued to isolate me from the two of them as if therapy was now my husband and her. She is my therapist. Period. When the appointment was finished I was left gutted and shocked that I had been cast aside and disregarded. That I had been silenced. I then I had to pay for my husband's therapy appointment. Huh? This is my worst nightmare; another therapist turning on me and a woman. I've had three women therapists become controlling on me, nearly destroying my life in the process. This therapist is one of those three. It took everything within me to see her the first time due to past abuse by female therapists. After this current therapy session I did two things. I told my husband how I felt about what happened. And I called my therapist and told her that she just messed me up big time. That she didn't know what she had done to me. And that I didn't know whether I could ever see her again. On Friday she called and I couldn't keep it together long enough to make it through the whole phone conversation. I started bawling, not just crying, and finally told her I couldn't talk any more. I hung up. I haven't heard from her since. Part of the conversation was her realizing in the middle of the therapy session that something wasn't right. She never stopped things though. She kept going with them. She never apologized to me on the phone. Though she tried to make it look like she had done everything right. Not true. I tried to tell her the real story of my life and she didn't want to hear it. She wanted to believe that I had a fairy tale life as an adult. On Friday I also told my husband that I had had it and wanted a divorce. I felt used after the therapy appointment and livid after his abusive words. I had promised myself back in 2015 that if my husband ever was abusive again that I'd leave him. This was a promise I made to myself. Since Friday and Saturday I've poured out my anger and hurt on my husband, that which belongs to him not the anger and hurt I have toward my therapist. My husband apologized again and again. I've accepted his apology and yet I know this means he'll go right back to doing it again as evidenced by his continued and ongoing abuse. Now he finally understands that his mental/emotional abuse is just like physical abuse, just like a broken bone except on the inside. No one sees it. No one knows that it exists. That shook him to the core getting this part. At the same time he remembered an incident which happened as a child where his father had emotionally abused him and how it hurt and still hurts. And the fact that I forced him into an anger management course back in 2004/5 where he told me repeatedly that he's not like those men in there: He doesn't break bones and send me to the hospital. Anyway he gets it now. It is the same. He is like those men. And he said that he doesn't want to treat me like this any more. He doesn't know why he does it to me. And he's willing to go to therapy. He's been in therapy before and never focused on his issues. Instead he complained about mine and his son's problems. This time he says he's willing to deal with his issues. My husband is 75 years old this year! He doesn't want to lose this marriage. He finally gets that he's got a serious problem. He admits that he's causing most of the problems in this marriage. This is a first. My husband has promised to start looking for a therapist on Monday. So my prayer requests are many fold: For me For him For my therapist For our marriage For finding the right therapist for my husband And who knows what else... and the renovation of our kitchen and bathroom are not finished because of him stalling and putting it off due to him wanting a puppy and refusing to do anything. Right now I can barely function due to the PTSD being completely out of whack from my husband's abuse and my therapist's total disregard for my well being. Thank you for reading this super long prayer request.
  7. Way back about 2009/2010, I was ministering to a survivor of occult abuse... I'd been talking to her for several months, and she was finally coming around more to open up to the idea that God could accept her. One day, she told me that she found a brand new Bible on her couch ... she had no clue how it got there. She asked everyone in her household and no one in her family (kids, husband) knew how it appeared there. I was able to use that as a platform to explain to her about the love of God, and how that His heart for her was that she be free and healed... I told her about the Scripture that says, “He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.” [Ps 107:20] She was so amazed that the God she was told hated her, would send His Word to her like that!! It was a precious miracle that eventually helped bring her to salvation knowledge of Jesus Christ. The One True God loves you no matter where you come from, where you've been, what was forced upon you... He is fully willing and able to save you! Call on Him today! 2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Psalms 145:18 “The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth.” Psalms 34:18 “The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Psalms 55:16 “As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me.” Psalms 116:13 “I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD.” Romans 10:13 “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
  8. This is a very real problem. I cam accross this website in trying to help a friend. If you are going through this there is help. You are not alone! God bless, GE
  9. Have Christians today forgotten what real forgiveness is? It seems so, because for one thing, one reason abuse is so widely spread in our churches is because we have a faulty understanding of what forgiveness actually is. Apparently, being accountable for your actions is not a good message. Forgiveness is not an excuse for someone to keep behaving badly with no consequences. Forgiveness requires genuine repentance and desire to change on the abuser's part.
  10. Hi everyone, I've come here because I'm feeling really alone and am desperate for some advice. Just fyi, I've just turned 18, I live in the uk, and I haven't seen this guy since I went into hospital so I'm not in any immediate danger. This is really hard to explain, but I'll do my best. For the past 3 years, I've been in a relationship... We met when I was 15 and he was 24. It started out as platonic but gradually became more and more sexual. Now I've opened up about it, everyone keeps saying it was abusive-he didn't treat me properly. He used to slap me when he was angry, and suffocate me too. I had to do things sexually that I wasn't comfortable with. He was also very controlling and used to enjoy asserting his power over me in ways I found humiliating ( I had to call him 'master', I wasn't allowed to stand up in his presence etc) Eventually I had a breakdown and tried to hang myself. I was admitted to a secure psychiatric ward as a result and have been diagnosed with various mental health problems. That was 6 months ago... I've been encouraged by my family and friends to go to the police, and so last week I made a statement. Did I do the right thing? People keep saying that he didn't really love me, and that I had to go to the police to protect other girls, but Jesus taught us to forgive, right? To turn the other cheek? I keep trying to justify going to the police but it just feels so wrong! He loved me! I didn't say that he couldn't do any of the stuff. I even pretended that I liked it, I led him on! It's my fault, not his. The only bit he knew I hated was the humiliation but everyone has to compromise in a relationship right? I don't know what God wants me to do anymore. Everything is just so confusing and scary... I still feel like a kid but I have to make all these adult decisions on my own. Please help me to understand it all. I've tried the wwjd exercise and I think that jesus would go back to him and teach him that these things are wrong, but I'm so scared of this guy, if he finds out I've gone to the police he might kill me. He always said he would kill me one day and I think he was only fantasising but I don't know. I'm sorry for taking up your time Jade x
  11. Hello please pray for me not to loose my apartment that I got from my father as inheritance. The situation is that after the divorce, my father took himself a new girlfriend. They did not marry or have any children. My father died about 2 years ago due to drinking. I inherited the apartment and have been paying all the bills since then. I am a student and I have been paying it from my savings and scholarships. The lady who lives in my apartment does not pay rent or move out. If I run out of money before the court case is finished I'll basically loose my apartment because the court has right to sell it if I don't pay the bills. Now that lady took herself a boyfriend who also lives in that apartment. I am a little bit afraid that even if I get rid of that lady I might have to start a new court case to get rid of her's boyfriend too. My mom is a single mom and therefore she cant really afford to support me with paying my apartment related bills. Please pray that I would get my apartment back to my possession. Please pray that I wouldn't loose it just because I run out of money before the court case gets over.
  12. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. – Luke 6:37 You will never have to forgive anyone more then you yourself have been forgiven by God. Unforgiveness will leave you miserable. We forgive for our own happiness and benefit. When we do not forgive resentment and bitterness can defile all aspects of one’s life. Forgiving means to give up all resentment and the ability to exact revenge to get even. As we are called to be more like the Son of God (1 John 2:6) we can know how much we are in his likeness by our love and forgivenness of others. You know the grace of God as much as you are able to show it to others. No one will ever deserve to be forgiven, we must forgive because God forgives us. We judge and condemn others because we have not forgiven them and have not sought to bless them and see them bettered. When we pray the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) we say to the Lord: “Come, O Lord, and forgive me my sins even as I forgive those who sin against me.” On speaking of those who would come to partake of communion with unforgiveness John Chrysostom says, “As it is not to be imagined that the fornicator and the blasphemer can partake of the sacred Table, so it is impossible that he who has an enemy, and bears malice, can enjoy Holy Communion.” Our Lord teaches us to seek forgiveness first before worshipping God, for we ourselves need forgiveness to enter into his holy presence (Matthew 5:24). Of the many sins we can commit unforgiveness is a terrible sin, it is refusing to do what God himself did in offering his Son to forgive our sins. When we harbour unforgiveness we are helping the devil to expand his kingdom as it is a kingdom of accusation, unforgiveness, slander, lies and evil. John of Kronstadt says, “Forgive them that trespass against you with joy, as a good son rejoices when he has a chance of fulfilling the will of his beloved father.” Father in heaven give me a new realization of the great forgiveness you offer me daily so that I may be able to have more grace and forgivenness to all men. And allow me to release and forgive anyone who has hurt me and caused me pain. Amen. from: https://gregjgordon.wordpress.com/2015/06/07/harbouring-unforgivenness-towards-another/
  13. Charlie says he is being abused at work. He says they verbally abuse him and he has a very angry drunk co worker. He was working in this situation because we need the money. He is afraid to go back to work. No money is worth that.
  14. Cedar2326

    Revenge

    Hello My Name is Joe. I am currently in my last week of being a high school freshmen. I go to a very small school, of which there are only 32 kids in the high school. Last Friday, the teacher in charge of detention was handing out detention notices to everyone who had received detention. I did not receive a slip and I personally spent five minutes talking to ensure myself that I had not received detention. He promised me that I was not on the list. Then, the next morning I got an email from him saying he had lied and that I did have detention. Now on the last day of school, I have to go to detention after school ends. I have detention for the stupidest reason, too. Out of the 250 days I went to school this entire year, I walked in a minute late on three of those days. That is enough to get me detention. My school is apparently "Christian", but the teachers literally act like the spawn of the devil. They are always yelling at me, always assigning me extra work, always riding me, always ridiculing me, and always telling me I'm worthless and hurting my feelings. I hear that in detention it is ten times worse. The thing about it is that during parent teacher conferences all of the teachers act like angels and they are super nice to the parents, telling them that we are all wonderful students, so my parents have never believed me when I told them what terrible people were in charge of my education. Finally, I just ended up completely revolting against my parents and enrolled in a new school next year without their consent, because I have a life to live. But all of these teachers are SO bad and hurtful to me, and I literally hate them for treating me like a bag of scum. In 4 days, these people will no longer have jurisdiction over me, and I want revenge. I want to tell them how horrible they were. I want to wring their necks. I'm having such a hard time just leaving them be and forgetting they existed, because, although it's terrible, I literally want them dead. I'm not overreacting, I would not be surprised if they were demons hypnotizing all of the parents to send their children here. In my anger, I've sort of started a student revolt, taking a third of the high school with me this year, and another half after next year. But how can I control my anger against these freaks? How can I show them that their wrong? How do I resist the urge to stinkin shoot them?!?! I am not an angry person, but I have been abused so badly, I can't imagine what God wants me to do with this situation. HELP!!!!
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