I'm a widower with two adult children(23 and 26) and a teenager(16). My oldest son got married last year. The woman he married comes from a wealthy family and as a result they are able to give my son and his wife a lot of things. My late wife and I had a lot of financial struggles because she had multiple sclerosis. We were never able to take family vacations anywhere and our kids never went to stuff nearby like sporting events, concerts, and amusement parks. My son's in-laws take them to concerts, NFL, MLB, NHL games, and vacations. They went to Hawaii two weeks ago and I have to admit that I was very sad seeing their pictures on Facebook and Instagram. Part of it kills me because I wasn't able to give my kids nice vacations and other events. My son spends a lot of time with his in-laws and not much time with me. It's hard for me to discuss this with many people because I get accused right away of being an intrusive in-law. I see a lot of double standards in our society regarding adults and their parents. It's seen as perfectly fine for parents of an adult woman to want to spend time with their daughter, spouse, and kids. But, when parents of an adult man want to spend time with their sons, they are seen as overbearing, intrusive, and pushy.
In addition to trying to talk about my issue, I've done research and I have seen websites like DWIL on babycenter, WeddingBee, WeddingWire, and various sites where women talk about hating their boyfriends or husbands' families and it seems like our society basically encourages that kind of behavior. On Wedding Wire, there is a thread of women happily talking about leaving their in-laws from wedding and pre-wedding activities. While I know some people can be mean to their daughter-in-laws and son-in-laws, it seems when the opposite happens like son-in-law and daughter-in-laws leaving out their in-laws or being mean to them, it's just accepted and women especially don't get called out for mistreating their in-laws.
My other son is 23 and this is starting to happen with his girlfriend. His girlfriend and her parents take them out constantly to concerts and games. I invite them to BBQs at my house and I'm always turned down because they are off somewhere with her parents and family. I'm tired of being mistreated by my sons, older son's wife, and other son's girlfriend. I'm upset that our socieyt basically thinks it's ok for women to leave out and be mean to their in-laws.
My son's wife just annouced that they are expecting their first child and I'm already upset because I know I will be left out of that child's life for different reasons. I won't be able to give that child nice gifts like my son's in-laws will be able to do.
I'm really hurting these days and I don't know what to do.