Hi everyone! Over the summer, I started having some pretty weird thoughts. The thoughts are quite disturbing: I have thoughts saying that 'God has commanded me to stab out my eyes to save the world from sin' or' my lie would be so much better if I self mutilate and hurt myself. Now, I know NOT to hurt myself, and I'm trying my best to stay positive. I've been seeing a therapist and taking medication, as well as praying every night, but the thoughts still come back. These last couple of months at school have been extremely difficult, as these 'thoughts' have taken a toll on my physical health as well. A few nights ago I even had a dream where I heard a voice, presumably from God, that it was his will and command that I should stab my eyes out to save the world; that got me really scared. I go to a christian fellowship group at school, but I'm way too scared to share my struggles with anyone there because I'm afraid they might label me as 'crazy'. Have any of you experienced these thoughts or know anything about psychosis. Further, would God in any case ever command someone to hurt themselves? Thank you for taking the time to answer my question, I think that I'm ready to give up at this point.
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