To sum it all up: my life has been one big mess from the very start. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get anywhere. I’ve encountered the father before in a dream, and I grew up religious. With that said, I know of God and his presence. I am now leaning on that - on this faith - for a chance to be a “better me”.
Since this is a post in the “ASK NEW QUESTION” thread, I guess my question is: what is his plan for me? Who am I to be? Someone I am pleased with? Someone who did exactly what everyone told them to do, cave in to the nit-picking and negative comments and did exactly what they expected...fail? Will I have suffered for naught? Mind you I’m grateful for what little I have, but a part of me wants to be selfish. To have a life like every other normal person me age;enjoy a fad;go on dates;go out with friends;get into a little bit of trouble - just a teeny-weeny little bit of young, fun, laddy-daddy fun;simply ENJOY life as everyone does. Or remain in the shadows? To live and not have any sense of individuality or lasting impression on anyone - good that is? Will I forever be unhappy?
To give exposition about myself, I would state that...hmm...my nature from I was younger was of meekness. Yes! An empathetic, meek, optimistic, easily pushed around little boy is what I was. In many ways, I am still that boy. I guess, you can say I was soft. The type to never win an argument;not have a string of good luck;easily yelled at;mocked;beraded;degraded;fearful;easily manipulated, hurt, discouraged, remorseful. I’ve always been a less assertive person, a lamb, letting the wolfs have at me to not say a thing. Even when put into situations where I should have been a little harsh, I could never muster up the courage or the “gall”. I’ve struggled in my home life, social life(for the majority was “school”, where I didn’t very much have many good memories ) - and now that I’m a young adult(not to long turned the big one - eight) I am struggling in my financial life(though I was struggling financially before, but now more so than ever). It’s a lot more I could go on about. But it pains me so to talk about all of my problems, I doubt you would want to read any more. Or I doubt I would want to talk more about, as to seem pitiful or needy.
Getting my point across again: is there ANY prophet who can find out what God has planned for me? If not what is his plans for me, can you guarantee that I’d live the good life that I want to live?
