KylewithaL

I was just throwing in my two cents to the person that said isolation was the way to draw closer…I think you’re right though, depends on how you define isolation and how you use it. Locking the doors and turning off the phone for the weekend, yes. Climbing a mountain in the Himalayas to sit on a cliff for three years and meditate, maybe not.

I think that is a blanket statement that might not apply to everyone at anytime. But yes, isolation has got me to this point spiritually. Now, I’ve had plenty of isolation.

I totally agree. Although it is nice being able to share my situation with others…I try telling this to the chinchilla, but she just looks at me funny.

Thanks! I honestly feel like being with her is a big hindrance to my relationship with Christ and she’s always made it clear she doesn’t want to go to church with me and she doesn’t believe in the Bible. She claims she believes in Jesus, but “her Jesus.” I don’t know how to process that. To be clear, I do not blame her for being a stumbling block for me and my pursuit of faith…it’s my own weaknesses. She goes out of town to visit her family quite often and I feel so much stronger in my spirituality when she isn’t around. I do love her and I worry about her so much but there’s nothing I can do about it. We got into a big fight a couple months ago and I went to a hotel…told her I wasn’t coming back until she was gone. She packed a couple bags and went and stayed with her best friend in Missouri. I thought we had finally did it and it was tough, but it felt GREAT! The third morning I got a phone call from my best friend. His wife (also a very close friend of mine), passed away in her sleep. He was beyond devastated so I left Minnesota the next day, picked up the gf in Missouri, and drove another 18 hours straight to get to him and their little boy. We decided our problems were trivial in comparison to what he was going through, set our differences aside and helped them get through the next couple of weeks. It was the toughest thing I’ve ever been through and had the effect of setting our relationship back to square one. But nothing changed and it only keeps getting worse. We just don’t even communicate unless it’s necessary. I agree with most others on here, I need to find a church. Somehow. This really is a very tough and complicated issue that I don’t know how to handle. Bottom line, I do feel the Lord is telling me this relationship needs to end. But I’m also really good at not being sure that’s what he’s telling me…the good news though is she got close to 30g’s a couple months back so for the first time she does have the financial means to move out. I think we both know this will be over soon! Pray for us please. (:

I will provide more information this evening when I have more time about the other things that I have going on in my life…the good and the bad. I wanted to make clear though, because I feel like I might be coming off as blaming my issues on her. I do not. I take FULL responsibility for the problems of our relationship and the problems in my life. I am probably more to blame than her when it comes to our inability to communicate. But I feel like I’m also the only one trying to improve. Thanks everyone for your input and thoughts, I truly am grateful. God bless.

She’s already made it clear that she doesn’t want to attend church or change her lifestyle. We do not even have an intimate relationship anymore, and sleep in separate bedrooms. I’m doing my best to help her get on her feet so she can decide what she wants to do and go do it. I don’t feel kicking her out with nowhere to go is the right thing to do. I told her a while back if we were going to continue to be together we needed to get married and go to church. She took the fact I am only willing to marry her because it’s what’s in the Bible as an insult. Which I sorta get…I haven’t asked her to marry me in the many years we were together, but now I feel like I’m being forced to because of my beliefs. It’s a bad situation, I just pray God will show me patience and understanding while I’m still working all this out!

QUOTE FROM KYLEWITHAL's WORTHY WELCOME THREAD : Thanks for everyone’s replies! Is there an option I’m overlooking to reply back to individual messages? (Not a pm, just including that message above my reply?) MSP is Minneapolis/ St Paul…sorry, I guess I should have just spelled it out! I suppose what I’m looking for in a church is guidance. Like I said, I’ve only considered myself a “Christian” for a few months…although I did attend a Christian school for a couple of years when I was a child, so I probably already knew more about Christianity than most people in my position. I’ve put myself through A LOT in the past couple of decades and I think it’s a miracle in and of itself that I’m still alive. That being said, I haven’t been in that type of lifestyle for close to ten years now, but still far from perfect! My biggest issue- the way I see it, and what I would like to find guidance on- preferably face to face with someone I can fill in all the details, because there’s LOTS of details, is my situation with my “girlfriend.” We’ve lived together for 9 years and it’s honestly the worst relationship I’ve ever been in. (I’m 48, never married, no kids…crazy huh?) I regrettably used my life for partying and hopping from relationship to relationship…I’ve had a couple of good ones that I regret sabotaging but it is what it is. You can’t change the past, something I’ve learned to deal with. Back to my current relationship- it wasn’t good to begin with but now that I’m seeing things different, it’s got worse. She thinks I’m nuts for wanting to go to church, etc…I mean if she was on board with this new type of lifestyle I’m doing my best to pursue, I’d feel like I should ask her to marry me since we’ve been together for so long. But she isn’t, so what do I do? A. Stay with her and lead by example, even though it makes it so much harder for me to find fellowship with other Christians ? (Not blaming that on her, it’s totally on me but again, it is what it is) or B. Tell her we can’t be together anymore and to figure something out that doesn’t include me. (She doesn’t work, she doesn’t cook, she doesn’t do much except smoke a lot of weed…but she DOES do laundry and kinda keeps the house clean!) Also, I’m from Georgia but we’ve lived here for almost 8 years now. So I’m nowhere near my family and longtime friends…if I were I could absolutely find decent recommendations on a good church. DEFINITELY no cults! I want something biblical. I’ve been listening to a LOT of Paul Washer, RC, Voodie Bauchman, Charles Lawson, and John Barnett! I should clarify…she smokes weed all day every day while laying in the bed and watching hours and hours of Dr Who. It’s driving me crazy