Hey brother
No huge scripture based lengthy email reply from me, just been reading what everyone has written and am blown away by the love and faith, if that isnt "proof" in God then I dunno what is!!!!
To me, I compare your seeking to before I was saved. when I was diagnosed with cancer, and I spent every spare second I had on the internet finding out heaps of information on what I had, which led me to every single cancer site ever. By the end of it, I had scared myself silly and had not one cancer, but about 5000000000000 according to what I had read.!!!!!
I knew what I had, yet kept searching for more answers.
You know what you have, dont keep searching sweetheart! The kingdom of god is within you. The devil will use every available book, web page and person to throw you off balance.
Listen only to God and block your ears to all the attacks!
When I was under attack by doubting unsaved friends recently, I was woken up at 4am with "psalm 118, psalm 118" in my head. I had never read any of the psalms before. After reading it, I was blown away. I asked god to reveal what he wanted me to gain from it and this is what I wrote down at 4am in the morning!
Remove yourself from the bees. These people will surround you and try to sting you with their lies. But like bees, once they sting, they will die and so will will their lies.
God IS real.
love ya brother
lisa lollipop
xxxxxxx