Jimmie Babz

ARGH!!!... Again. Sorry for the way I "interpreted" my message. It didn't exactly go out the way I thought it would. What I meant was... I WOULD Count myself as a Christian. But God is my Supervisor. Jesus my Vision and Salvation And Heaven my future Home. What I meant in my message was... When someone will ask me if I am a Christian or not. I am of NO Religion. I do not beleive in ANYTHING BUT! god and Jesus. Jesus lives in me and I keep on growing WITH him. The thing is, whenever someone asks me if I beleive in Jesus. I Answer Yes I do. And then he asks: Then your a Protestant, I'm not a Protestant. And then he asks if I'm Catholic, I'm neither of these. What I am, is a Jesus Freak. I Freak for Jesus. All I am, right now. Is nothing compared to what I will be years from now. I will live my way for Jesus and when people shall ask me if I am Jesus, I shall answer Only one man can live at a Time. For there is only one time only. And so, this answers to their question with another question: "Exemple: -What? What did he say? -What I said was, Since there is ONLY One time, and only ONE Man can live at a time, I am not Jesus. Nor will I ever be anything else then Jimmie Babz. But what I WILL Look like and try to be like everyday, I Jesus. I want to be like him, so that others may look at me and see nothing else but a Living Jesus Freak!" It's funny the way I just said that. But it's quite completely true. I'm laughing because once again, you guyz might not understand. If you don't, don't say it here. Ask instead. I'll give you all the answer you need. Right now, I'm having a hard time describing things because I'm having a REALLY hard time in my life. No details outloud, but I'll tell you this. I TRULY need Prayers. Thank you Dearly Brothers and Sisters for taking the time to read this. Jimmie Babz

uhum... Makes you think quite alot doesn't it? Well... I've just taken a whole HOUR of speaking with God. Praying to him. I did not make ONE single promise to him. For he made them to us. And so, I tell you all. What does a man need to do when he wishes upon something? He has to forget it. It is not within his own power to contribute at helping what God can do alone. We can help him in other ways such as: -Pray -Hope -Beleive -Stay on Track these... are just Exemples of what a Christian should be. But I tell you all my friends, I am not a Christian. I am a Tool of God, his Pion, I am his Servant. He shall use me to my Death. For I give him my freedom. He will do what he wishes with it. But... I've thought about this for QUITE a while now... God, gave us something. But we've just taken it for Granted. It IS what he wants... But. I wanna give something to him. And so, I give him the greatest Gift he's given me. My Freedom. God shall refuse, or accept it. And then use it by his will. It will be I! Who will change history by his name. One day, you will not hear the story of I, but the story of Us. It will be a story of Hope, balance, Love, and Trust. These my friends, will become something that has more meaning... Then your worst Nightmares. For they will be true. And finaly have something to say for themselves. I will teach what I know. And I will die knowing all I have left to do, is pray for God's will to be accomplished. I will go in front of Millions... But not to as I am. But who I represent. I will represent God when I will be on stage. And I will make sure Many will know that I do not do this because other people wanted me too. I will be doing this, because I will have asked God to give me what I need... And to make sure I will be able to sustain such a powerful position within his name. And to make sure I will not be corrupted, or disturbed by such treathury... I will stay on God's side. And Look up to him as he looks down unto me. Love and Hope my friends, is what we should all look toward too within times of destruction, or lost or despair. do NOT! Lose your way brothers... For I may be his Servant... but I cannot be everywhere. So remember this, God... Is around you. AND within you. Look at him... And simply rememorate the good he has done for you. And who you are. With these memories... You shall stand as one, And fight back as God would want you too. Take care Brothers. For the Kingdom of God is near dear friends, remember, He is With us at all times.

Well then. I gues I won't have to be scared will I?

Well... About the patience. I do have it. Just... Not on everything. I am quite patient about MANY things. And then again...Theres also some stuff in which I am NOT patient with. I guess I'll let it pass. Right? I talked to my mom about it. I feels bad in a way because I love my mom so much. She's like my bestfriend. Always been there for me. It's hard to know she'll die someday near and has a chance that God takes her away any moments. But hey! I try to stay focused on God anyways. Well... My mom told me to read the bible And Focus more on God. And to calm down because wanting to hurt isn't in me. I've never been able to hurt no one. So ya. I beleive I will have to move on. But I'll be patient. VERY Patient. I love her. And well... I will see what happends. If it doesn't go the way she thinks... Who knows. She might come to me... But... I'll wait

Thank you. In a way where... for some reasons. U seem to be understanding quite alot my situation. It is good to have brothers like you to help me out. (everyone when I said "you") Of course I am in fear. Fear of making the wrong decision all the time. It's all I've been doing lately. It's what people make me see. I know I have to take risks. But in a way... I don't think I am ready to take those risks. It is weird. Today... I've been in God's presence the WHOLE day. And at the ending... I asked him to show me love. Give me love. I have always been looking. Now... I somehow... Have gained it's knoledge. Of course I still feel depressed. But not as much I was. I've started to truly be able to smile lately. I know God is there... But I need more then: Spiritual Presence. I need a Human presence by my life. To help me out. For some reasons... I've learned today that my old friend "Sarah" Likes a guy... And she won't tell me who. I am feeling it is me. But THE problem is that... I feel HORRIBLE knowing she might like someone else. I've loved her a little while back. she never said anything so I thought she didn't like me and all... But... but... ARGH!! I wanna know why she's acting like that with me! She's never hided ANYTHING from me before. So why won't she just tell me... I mean I'm getting mad at this other guy for existing. But... I'll wait to see the name. I don't wanna wait. I wanna know it now. I wanna beat the crap out of the guy she likes for making her suffer because she's liked him for 3 years... And here again. I sooo want it to be me. I mean... ARGH!!! She's making me suffer. At least I know she's there. I beleive she's the one I trust the most in all my life. And then it's my bestfriend Josh. But... ooooh man. I soooo wish I could just get into her head and take out what I've been DYING to know. I knew she liked some1 a year ago. But... I didn't know she liked him for 3 years. And it makes me in pain because she told me it wasn't me. But she had her webcam on. And when she said it wasn't me. She had TEARS!!! Seriously. RIGHT THERE! BANG! I had this gutsy feeling again that she loves me. But is to afraid to tell me. I sooo just wanna stop hurting her. I don't wanna hurt her. I finaly told her how I felt about her. I told her EVERYTHING!!! Problem is... I wasn't able to discribe how much I loved her... Ppffiioouu. Feels good to know you guyz won't mind me telling you this. It feels good to talk about it. Getting mad, yelling... and having you guyz to back me up all the way. It feels so good. This is the only thing I've always hoped in. Christian brotherhood. I mean... It's so powerful. I thank God for giving us this. Now I must be off to bed. WAY 2 tired. lol Ttyl!! Take care (Thx for reading this) And God Bless!!

Well... I am being patient. I mean... I don't even know HOW long I'm supposed to be called to do what he wants me to do. I have an idea alright. But it ends there.

That feels good. Thanks. Problem... I'm going to have to do that after work. Because right now... I simply can't as... I'm WAY 2 much "stuck" in my schedule. And you see... I've left God out of it. So I try to stick him in something. Even though I KNOW I MUST take something OUT to take him IN. But I just don't wanna do it. I'm tired of changes... Had WAY 2 much in just 5 months.

I wish I could. But unfortunately... It's VERY hard to keep strong in Jesus when you have no one to talk about your problems to I don't trust my family enough because theres too much going on in it... what I meant about the Music is... It's the only thing that can actualy bring me back to god because I can feel his power in it. And I ain't falling asleep... I ALWAYS fall asleep when some1 talks... And I DON'T LIKE IT!!! Everytime I go to a reunion... I fall asleep. I just can't stand it. But I think it's because it is the ONLY place I actualy feel safe... I'm a sad person... I used to smile so much. I'm still not very sure of what happened... Even WHY it did. All I can tell you is that God has something to do with it. I know that I'm supposed to be happy about what's going on. But I'm getting more then tired of this BS. GOD! HELP ME OUT! I'M TIRED OF LIVING THE LIFE I'M LIVING! I DON'T LIKE IT!! EVEN!! I COMPLETELY DISLIKE IT!!! WHY?!? I'VE BEEN ASKING THIS QUESTION FOR MONTHS NOW!!! I'VE BEEN ALONE IN MY MIND FOR SO LONG! AND "BANG" GOD JUST COMES BACK TO ME?!? I STILL CAN'T FEEL HIS LOVE! WHY? DO I EVEN KNOW WHAT IS LOVE? EVERYTIME!!!!!! I'M BORED TIRED AND SERIOUSLY... SLEEPLESS IN FRONT OF GOD I JUST CAN'T STAND UP LIKE I USED TO WITH MY BELIEFS!!! I KNOW HE'S OUT THERE SOMEWHERE! WHATCHING ME!! BUT I WANNA FEEL HIM! I NEED A HUG... SOMEONE WHO CAN HOLD ME CLOSE TO THEIR HEART! I NEED SO MANY THINGS LATELY... But I try to do without 'em. DOES IT WORK? NO!!! FUDGER!!!! I'M TIRED!!! AND HE DOESN'T WANNA LET ME GO!!!! Just like my song says...: Wielder Of Love and if you wanna know. I'm really getting tired.. I mean. I can't keep up anymore. I mean. I've been fighting this stupid suicide thought for about a year now. And I'm tired of fighting it! I'M TIRED OF EVEN HAVING IT!!! WHY CAN'T HE LEAVE ME ALONE!!! WHAT DOES SATAN AND GOD WANT OF ME?!? Ya... I've been under his control before and I can assure you that magic really does exist. Anyways. What I was talking about was that... I've had a couple of demons inside me already. I know how it feels like. I know both sides very clearly. (Which is good... ) But It's hard now. Because Satan wants me back. And God doesn't wanna let me god. I don't wanna go either. But sometimes... I just sooo wish I could just die. It always been easier to remember sad and painful things then good and joyful moments. So ya.

Well... Here's my problem. I've had this dream of preaching to THOUSANDS of people... I've ALWAYS been good at talking to people. But I've never made the move. The only thing that truly motivates me if Music. I need help in finding who I am as well... I've been looking for a year now. (Not alot... But I haven't found out much. ) In other words... I need prayers. And meaby also people who could Help me out. My real name is Jeremie Babin. I'm 17 and I've been a christian for 4 years now. But I've had troubles of Doubt lately. ALOT of 'em too... Please, help me out, Tell me your thoughts if possible. I've been listening to: Hillsong United Live lately... Their awesome. And are helping me out to concentrate... Thank God their here. So are Delerious by the way. Thanks to you all. Amen!

Everyone... This is in EXTREME importance... I have doubts that... I sometimes tought... I was to be the Anti-Christ. But I know I won't. In a way I do. But I still doubt myself. Because lately.. things have strangely moved toward what I'd called: Anti-Christ inside out movement Anyways. Look... I wanna be a Preacher one day. To preach the whole world. So Please, pray for me so that I won't turn into my own greatest ennemy?