lily00

Thank you! That post was from 15 years ago though! I am not who I was thanks to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I had many people that helped me through that as well. They were blessings in my life, because as a teenager, I did need a lot of spiritual guidance. Now, I do at times, but feel like God has put me in a place now to help and encourage others. And plus now, I have two young children of my own. Anyhow, read my last posts for my testimony. :) Only came back on here in May. I lurk. Lol

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Romans 12:1‭-‬5 NASB

I cannot BELIEVE I was a member on here when I was just a KID, got so many kind and uplifting responses, and then have never came back on until now. I haven't been on here in 15 years, because Ive mainly been on CF and been on and off forums through my life. But listen. This is what God did in my life. He delivered me from depression, anxiety, and self injury. I have been able to forgive my dad for the sexual abuse I endured. I am way closer to God then I was back then. And the more I leaned on Him through those difficult years, the closer I got to Him. I am completely free from self injury. I went into a Christian based program called Teen Challenge and graduated there after a year and a half. Then got some extra support from another program in Indiana. I havent self injured in over ten years now and am completely delivered from this and the shame attached from it. June I will be married for 5 years to a Christian man of God. I have a two year old daughter and am having a son due in July. I am on fire for God and so grateful for what He has done in my life. And the best part? He is still leading and guiding my path. A friend invited me on here. I forgot I joined way back, but knowing how I was searching in my teen years, I tried my old username first. And sure enough. Yep. Gave my life story on a forum of people I don't know. But I guess I am still pretty much an open person.But God bless ya'll and thank you for being such a support at that time. I was really searching for answers and freedom from childhood demons. And I am definitely grateful for where I am now. I hope to stick around some now! I really love the format and kindness from the people on here. And some pretty interesting threads.

I am a little confused over that.

Hi, I just wanted to say thanks for all of the encouragement here! Lily00

Hi sjeu! I still read the first books of Harry Potter once in awhile but I kind of lost tastes when he started getting angry at the world and everything. I use to enjoy it but I just don't much anymore. I guess tastes change and so do point of views on things. As for the music lyrics, just be careful!!!! You are really strong I can tell but sometimes, the message is just grounded in your brain after awhile. It is different with a lot though. When I use to listen to country a lot, I just got really sad. Now, I have learned to just listen and not take it to heart. I still like KSBJ though! It is awesome! Got to go, class! Best Wishes. Lily00

Thanks, all of you!!!! (It is back up and part 8 is here)! I will check out what you'll said. Thanks a lot for being here! It is a rough time but God put us all together for a reason! Maybe I should put the fruits here also! Lily00

Oh yeh!!!!! Hi, I am so happy there is someone I know here! How cool!!! I can't wait to see the new features! Really though, I am glad things are looking better with this new christian therapy. It is just the more I say it, the less scarey it sounds and the easier it is to get through it. With that 10 hour session though, it just confused me more then I was before. I know I sound a little morbid when I talk about it but I really find it a morbid thing. It seems so much easier to write then it is to say. How are you doing? I am still praying for everyone whether it is up or not. Lily00 p.s. Really though, it is hard but I am getting through it. Confusion and SI are the main things I am working through but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger! (Can't wait to share the new spiritual fruit!!!)

Hello everyone. I am Lily00 and this is my first post here! I just figured I should just go ahead and get it out since I know it is coming sooner or later. I am nineteen years old and by the grace of God, I am still alive! I am getting through one day at a time but support would really be nice. I guess I haven't been depending on God as much as I should. About 4 years ago I had memories come back to me where I was molested when I was young ( I really don't know what is allowed here so please tell me if I need to edit this). Not wanting to believe it, I tried to ignore the feelings that were there and I just let work and school just numb out my feelings. It is true though when the Bible says, "You reap what you sow..." There comes a time when you can't numb something like that out any longer... in a desperate attempt, I stooped to self injury rather then turning to God and letting Him heal my hurting heart... It happened about a year ago and now it is so hard to stop... I learned a little to late. It has left me confused, beaten up, and with feelings of degredation and sorrow. I tried to go to therapy at school when I finally broke down and told my Mom, but the therapist graduated. I had recently went to one counseling session about 10 hours long... but it ended up being fake and more hurting then it actually helped ( I really can't go into it)... Finally I went to my "pastor" at church and though our old pastor resigned and we are recently trying to find a new pastor (financially unstable) the church wanted to help... He found me a christian counselor, she is really nice, and now I am beginning to slowly feel better about myself. I still need your prayers though. If anyone has a similar problem I would like to hear about it. I just feel so alone at times, too weak to stop or even get up... I need to build up my support system but I have always been quite a loner also and with more memories coming back... Does anyone understand this? How do you'll keep focused? God is so good and I just know He is going to break me out of my shell and help me through this. My favorite verse is Phillippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Every word is true and I have recited it a lot in past times when I have thought the wrong things. When I still do. I just need an attitude adjustment I guess. Thanks for listening. Lily00 Confusion is just a little hard I guess.